Dear Abortion Protesters
Dear Abortion Protesters,
Greetings! First, I would like to say that I hope you are having a nice day and that your harassment of terrified unwed expectant mothers isn't causing you any undue stress.
As I live very close to an abortion clinic, I get to see a lot of you guys in action. I'm a little concerned. I mean, I understand where you're coming from and you don't like to see babies get killed and all that. But you guys have stuck to the same game plan for years now (standing in front of clinics, praying, yelling at people, etc.) and it doesn't appear that any babies are getting saved. In fact, I can only guess how many pregnancies were aborted by mothers sort of teetering on the edge of doing it/not doing, and decided to have the abortion just because of how rude one of you protesters came across to them. I mean, that's a baby dead just because you didn't have any tact! How embarassing!
So, while your antics and clever signs continue to amuse me, I feel like I need to present some alternate methods that you might want to consider. Because, honestly? Yelling "you're going to burn in hell forever!" just isn't getting the job done. So, have you considered...
... Asking Nicely? I mean, there's a big difference between "Don't kill your baby, baby killer!" and "Hey, could you do me a favor and please not kill your baby? You'd really be doing me a solid and I'll totally get you back."
... Offering Prizes? Obviously, the negative reinforcement isn't really cutting the mustard. So, instead of "if you kill your baby, Satan will dine on your entrails for all of eternity!", maybe you could try "Don't kill your baby and win a free PSP!" I mean, you may have made a serious mistake and you could totally be unfit to be a mother, but those iPhones are really fucking cool.
... Writing an Uplifting Jingle? I'm not a big fan of the Christian Rock, but even I have to admit that the Christian Right has a few members that are capable of writing a catchy tune. Why not take advantage of that? Instead of chanting the Lord's Prayer over and over like some sort of creepy Hare Krishna, perhaps you could try singing "Abortion is wrong/and it's never OK/so don't kill your baby/and enjoy the rest of your day!"
... Lying? I hate to say it, but I really don't think you're going to convince anyone to not kill their baby once they've made the trip to the Baby Killing Store. So, you might as well lie to people. Just stand out there and as people pull up tell them "Hey, are you here to kill your baby? I just wanted to let you know that they actually moved. This is a Christian Science Reading Room now." It sounds retarded, I know, but it will probably work better than what you've been doing.
... Maybe Stop Being So Counter-Productive? Look, nobody WANTS to have an abortion. I can't imagine any woman wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man, I just can't WAIT to have a vacuum cleaner hose stuck up my vagina!" (I think I have now made it perfectly clear that I have no idea how abortions are actually performed) But, whether you like it or not, people are going to have sex. So, telling people they can't get birth control and THEN telling them they can't abort their pregnancy, well, you see where I'm going with this? What's more important? Saving babies or forcing everyone to conform to your standards? You have to pick one, abortion protesters. You've had over 35 years since Roe V Wade to make a decision and we really need to you be "pro-choice" on this. Get it? Pro-choice, because you're.... never mind.
So, that's about it. I hope I've given you all something to think about. Do what you gotta do, but I hope you take some of this into consideration.
Love,
Sully.
Greetings! First, I would like to say that I hope you are having a nice day and that your harassment of terrified unwed expectant mothers isn't causing you any undue stress.
As I live very close to an abortion clinic, I get to see a lot of you guys in action. I'm a little concerned. I mean, I understand where you're coming from and you don't like to see babies get killed and all that. But you guys have stuck to the same game plan for years now (standing in front of clinics, praying, yelling at people, etc.) and it doesn't appear that any babies are getting saved. In fact, I can only guess how many pregnancies were aborted by mothers sort of teetering on the edge of doing it/not doing, and decided to have the abortion just because of how rude one of you protesters came across to them. I mean, that's a baby dead just because you didn't have any tact! How embarassing!
So, while your antics and clever signs continue to amuse me, I feel like I need to present some alternate methods that you might want to consider. Because, honestly? Yelling "you're going to burn in hell forever!" just isn't getting the job done. So, have you considered...
... Asking Nicely? I mean, there's a big difference between "Don't kill your baby, baby killer!" and "Hey, could you do me a favor and please not kill your baby? You'd really be doing me a solid and I'll totally get you back."
... Offering Prizes? Obviously, the negative reinforcement isn't really cutting the mustard. So, instead of "if you kill your baby, Satan will dine on your entrails for all of eternity!", maybe you could try "Don't kill your baby and win a free PSP!" I mean, you may have made a serious mistake and you could totally be unfit to be a mother, but those iPhones are really fucking cool.
... Writing an Uplifting Jingle? I'm not a big fan of the Christian Rock, but even I have to admit that the Christian Right has a few members that are capable of writing a catchy tune. Why not take advantage of that? Instead of chanting the Lord's Prayer over and over like some sort of creepy Hare Krishna, perhaps you could try singing "Abortion is wrong/and it's never OK/so don't kill your baby/and enjoy the rest of your day!"
... Lying? I hate to say it, but I really don't think you're going to convince anyone to not kill their baby once they've made the trip to the Baby Killing Store. So, you might as well lie to people. Just stand out there and as people pull up tell them "Hey, are you here to kill your baby? I just wanted to let you know that they actually moved. This is a Christian Science Reading Room now." It sounds retarded, I know, but it will probably work better than what you've been doing.
... Maybe Stop Being So Counter-Productive? Look, nobody WANTS to have an abortion. I can't imagine any woman wakes up in the morning and thinks "Man, I just can't WAIT to have a vacuum cleaner hose stuck up my vagina!" (I think I have now made it perfectly clear that I have no idea how abortions are actually performed) But, whether you like it or not, people are going to have sex. So, telling people they can't get birth control and THEN telling them they can't abort their pregnancy, well, you see where I'm going with this? What's more important? Saving babies or forcing everyone to conform to your standards? You have to pick one, abortion protesters. You've had over 35 years since Roe V Wade to make a decision and we really need to you be "pro-choice" on this. Get it? Pro-choice, because you're.... never mind.
So, that's about it. I hope I've given you all something to think about. Do what you gotta do, but I hope you take some of this into consideration.
Love,
Sully.