how pathetic?!
My mother is treating me like shit. It's like suddenly i'm not good enough for her, they way she's treating me right now i shouldnt even be living in my own home, that's how i feel at least.
I swear Ryan's parents care more about me than my own. That's an awful thing to think too, but it's so fuckin' true...my mom would rather me be gone than in the house. Last night she comes up to me, i dont think i had said ONE word to her since she got home, oh wait, she said something to me and we had a little conversation - but i wasnt bitchy about it or anything. well anyways, she comes up to me and goes
"are you going out tonight?"
"yah probably"
"good, you're too crabby to be here"
So i just got my shoes said bye to my dad he goes
"arnt you gonna eat dinner?"
"no" and i walk out the door.
wtf, my dad asked me earlier if i was gonna stay for din din, i said yes, but if my mom wants me out of the house THAT fuckin' much i'll just leave. I dont even have a curfew anymore it seems, i came home at like 2 one night and nothing was said to me, i came home at 11:30 on a school night and nothing was said to me. Before i'd get a lecture about it and shit. My mom doesnt wanna kick me out, but i know she's been thinking about it. And the stupid fucking thing is, i've been the most behaved in my life since i've been with Ryan. And she's honestly said that she likes him a lot. So does the rest of my family. and pretty much since i've been with Ryan she's been treating me like i dont exist, or some shit like that. And whenever I'm around her she tells me to stop being a bitch when i havent done anything at all, not even say a word to her. Then i fuckin' clean the whole house or something then i leave to go out (probably to Ryans) and i get home and the house is trashed, the next morning i ask...possibly bitch (but i'm intitled to it in that situation) and she fuckin' blames ME for the trashed house, say's its my mess, when i cleaned and left! WHAT THE FUCK!? can't i get one god damned break? ughhhhh....man, lucky i wasnt writting about this last night, or two nights ago because i was extremely pissed then, now i'm just a little angry and needed another way to vent about it. i hope she snoopes in my journal again and reads this and gets a fuckin' clue that i'm her daughter and not some random person. She never does ANYTHING nice for me anymore unless it's benifiting her somehow. Like for my birthday, the one thing i asked for, bras for victoria secret, she say's no problem...she doesnt order them. I ask her about it a few days later she say's she has to go get sized at the store so she can buy some too, and she'd go on monday (this was sunday) i was like okay, whatever. Then a weeks passes, i ask again, she bitches at me about it. i'm like "whatever" i stop asking, then she's like "I'm getting pants from victoria secret, so pick your bra's out or you're not getting them" talk about a nice fuckin' birthday surprise. then on my birthday all she did was bitch at me and tell everybody what a bad kid i am, okay, i understand that i threw a fuckin' party, and you could've given me the cold shoulder back THEN, but suddenly i'm horrible...what have i dont so fuckin' wrong since then? NOTHING. Been a good student? been honest to her about where i was going? gotten a job? been responsible...man that sounds awful. w/e, i gotta go to work, i'm fuckin' pissed.
I swear Ryan's parents care more about me than my own. That's an awful thing to think too, but it's so fuckin' true...my mom would rather me be gone than in the house. Last night she comes up to me, i dont think i had said ONE word to her since she got home, oh wait, she said something to me and we had a little conversation - but i wasnt bitchy about it or anything. well anyways, she comes up to me and goes
"are you going out tonight?"
"yah probably"
"good, you're too crabby to be here"
So i just got my shoes said bye to my dad he goes
"arnt you gonna eat dinner?"
"no" and i walk out the door.
wtf, my dad asked me earlier if i was gonna stay for din din, i said yes, but if my mom wants me out of the house THAT fuckin' much i'll just leave. I dont even have a curfew anymore it seems, i came home at like 2 one night and nothing was said to me, i came home at 11:30 on a school night and nothing was said to me. Before i'd get a lecture about it and shit. My mom doesnt wanna kick me out, but i know she's been thinking about it. And the stupid fucking thing is, i've been the most behaved in my life since i've been with Ryan. And she's honestly said that she likes him a lot. So does the rest of my family. and pretty much since i've been with Ryan she's been treating me like i dont exist, or some shit like that. And whenever I'm around her she tells me to stop being a bitch when i havent done anything at all, not even say a word to her. Then i fuckin' clean the whole house or something then i leave to go out (probably to Ryans) and i get home and the house is trashed, the next morning i ask...possibly bitch (but i'm intitled to it in that situation) and she fuckin' blames ME for the trashed house, say's its my mess, when i cleaned and left! WHAT THE FUCK!? can't i get one god damned break? ughhhhh....man, lucky i wasnt writting about this last night, or two nights ago because i was extremely pissed then, now i'm just a little angry and needed another way to vent about it. i hope she snoopes in my journal again and reads this and gets a fuckin' clue that i'm her daughter and not some random person. She never does ANYTHING nice for me anymore unless it's benifiting her somehow. Like for my birthday, the one thing i asked for, bras for victoria secret, she say's no problem...she doesnt order them. I ask her about it a few days later she say's she has to go get sized at the store so she can buy some too, and she'd go on monday (this was sunday) i was like okay, whatever. Then a weeks passes, i ask again, she bitches at me about it. i'm like "whatever" i stop asking, then she's like "I'm getting pants from victoria secret, so pick your bra's out or you're not getting them" talk about a nice fuckin' birthday surprise. then on my birthday all she did was bitch at me and tell everybody what a bad kid i am, okay, i understand that i threw a fuckin' party, and you could've given me the cold shoulder back THEN, but suddenly i'm horrible...what have i dont so fuckin' wrong since then? NOTHING. Been a good student? been honest to her about where i was going? gotten a job? been responsible...man that sounds awful. w/e, i gotta go to work, i'm fuckin' pissed.