Fic: If This is Wednesday, It Must be Texarkana Part 5/?
Warning 1: Since this is set after the Avengers movie, this does contain spoilers.
Warning 2: This story is not recommended for internal use, implantation or branding.
Disclaimer 1: I don't own the characters. Just in case you were wondering.
Disclaimer 2: I hereby state that I did not ingest, sniff, smoke, or slather onto my body any illegal or regulated substance while this was written.
Thanks to strangevisitor7, ithildyn, bleukittie, ericadawn16, some_day_soling, and lizbet0 on livejournal for help with music, locations, and other ideas.
Double thanks go to ithildyn for also giving this a quick look over for me...
Summary: The Avengers get new orders for an unusual mission...
If This is Wednesday, It Must Be Texarkana
by Ninjababe
=====
The van was quiet. Only the tinny sounds of 'weee!' and the clicking of the laptop's touchpad could be heard as Steve stared intently at the screen.
"I can't believe he got addicted to Angry Birds that quickly," Natasha said softly to Clint.
"I think it's awesome," Clint replied with a grin from the driver's seat.
"Hey!" Steve exclaimed, startling everyone. "The screen went blank! I was going to get three stars on that level!"
Tony rolled his eyes, took the laptop and looked it over. After a few moments, he stated, "The battery's dead."
"Then where are the others? I'll just put more in," Steve replied as he reached for the laptop bag.
"The laptop uses a rechargeable battery," Tony said.
"Then, let's recharge it." Steve pouted.
Bruce shook his head. "We don't have a car cord for the laptop."
"But, my game!" Steve yelled.
"I can't believe you're that addicted to a videogame," Tony said with a wide grin.
"Can't we plug it into Tony's chest?" Steve asked as he glared at Tony.
Tony growled and opened his mouth to reply.
"Actually, I need more flash cards for the camera," Thor interjected.
"You've taken over three hundred photos already?" Bruce asked, shocked. "We're not even a third of the way through the trip!"
Thor nodded. "Of course. I would have taken more, but I was conserving space in the beginning. Then, I read the section in the manual about changing flash cards."
"I guess we're going to a Radio Shack or something," Clint said as Natasha pulled out the map to figure out how far they were from the next town.
"But, three hundred photos!" Bruce exclaimed.
"I also have some video," Thor replied with a wide grin.
"Of what?" Tony asked.
"Mayhap, I will show you... Someday," Thor replied, his smile getting bigger.
=====
"You got stopped for speeding," Clint stated, slightly shocked. "You, who yelled at me for my lead foot."
"Shut up," Tony growled in reply as he turned to the highway patrol officer at his window. "Hello, officer."
"Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked. "Driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance."
Tony handed over the requested items. "I believe I was going the speed limit."
"Holy…." the officer exclaimed to himself. "You're Iron Man!"
Tony grinned, "Yes. Yes, I am."
"Well… I guess I can let you off with a warning this time," the police officer stated while handing back Tony's documentation. "Can I get your autograph for my kid?"
"Sure," Tony replied, his grin widening.
"Just a second. He left his Iron Man action figure in my car. Let me get it."
A few moments later, the highway patrolman was back with a foot tall action figure and a permanent marker.
Thor looked confused as he peered over from the front passenger seat. "It's a doll."
Tony gave Thor a glare. "It's an action figure. A to-scale replica of my suit."
"Now, keep to the speed limit," the officer said before going back to his patrol car.
"I want an action figure!" Bruce pouted as the mini-van pulled back into traffic.
Natasha raised her eyebrows. "You want an Iron Man doll?"
"Action figure!" Tony exclaimed.
Bruce shook his head as he pouted more. "No! One of me!"
Clint started to giggle. "I need the next rest area."
"Why? We just stopped a few minutes ago?" Steve asked, still trying to figure out what had just happened.
"Most rest areas have wifi now. I have to keep up with the latest Stark / Iron Man scandals! This one is gold!" Clint replied before starting to laugh almost hysterically.
"Oh no… We are not posting about this!" Tony growled. "And, Bruce? Lay off the sugar!"
=====
"Houston, we have a problem," Tony said as they passed the city limits of Houston.
"Why do we have a problem?" Thor asked, perplexed.
"It's a popular saying in American culture," Bruce replied. His explanation and background behind the phrase lasted almost until they pulled into the parking lot of Space Center Houston.
"We have time for one thing," Bruce pointed out. "If we want to make San Antonio early enough for the Alamo."
"Hmmm…" Natasha looked at the visitor's map. "Spacesuits or Starships?"
After the usual bickering, they decided on the Starship Gallery.
Thor pointed at one of the exhibits. "You went to your planetary satellite in that?"
Natasha nodded. "Something like that."
"Barbaric," Thor shuddered as he wandered to the next exhibit.
Steve was in awe as he read the plaques. "Wow... We went to space! We went to the moon! I know from the debriefings that it happened. But, to see the actual ships. Just... Wow!"
"Hey!" Tony exclaimed. "I was in space, light years from the Earth even, just a few months ago!"
Clint looked up from his intense whispering with Natasha and sarcastically replied, "And nearly died. Great space suit."
Tony glared around at his grinning teammates, "I couldn't help it if interference from the portal stopped communication with my co-pilot. We're working on that."
"Uh huh," Clint replied distractedly. "Hey, Tasha, how about that?" he asked while pointing at a corner of the ceiling.
Natasha cocked her head, then nodded. "Could work."
Bruce looked suspicious. "What are you two doing?"
"Playing a game," Natasha nonchalantly replied.
Steve snorted. "Based on what I've overheard from you two, it sounds like it should be called 'plan the heist'."
Clint and Natasha both grinned while Natasha replied, "Maybe."
Bruce shook his head and wandered off to another exhibit. "I don't know you people. You are total strangers to me."
"Ah, come on! You know you love us!" Clint called after Bruce while his grin grew wider.
Everyone caught up with Bruce a few minutes later. He was staring at a spacecraft and mumbling to himself, "This is the USS Avengers, it's mission: To boldly..."
Clint points a finger at Bruce, "You're a Trekkie!"
"Trekker, thank you very much," Bruce replied. "And, what of it?"
Natasha cocked her head. "There's a difference?"
Tony sniffed disdainfully. "Obviously, you're too plebeian to know."
"Now what is the Midgardian reference I am not getting?" Thor asked with a sigh.
Steve shrugged. "I don't get it either."
Clint grinned. "So, which one of you is going to explain Star Trek to them?"
"I'll let them watch first season when we get home," Tony replied as he pulled Bruce away. "We'll be in the van. I think we're going to need the sketchpads."
"Did anyone else feel a shiver down their back?" Natasha asked.
Steve nodded. "I think they went into mad scientist mode."
"We really don't need a tricorder or hypospray!" Clint yelled after the two.
"Hyposprays already exist!" Bruce called back as the two left.
=====
Clint pulled the cell phone from his shorts pocket at the text message alert sound. After reading the message, he snorted. "Good."
"What does it say?" Bruce asked, curiously.
"Thor: BORED! Do something stupid to make me laugh! L," Clint replied.
"You think I need to something stupid?!" Thor exclaimed, affronted.
"No," Clint replied. "I'm glad he's bored. I hope he gets so bored, his brains melt and puddle out of his ear."
"The last time my brother was bored, he turned myself and our friends into reindeer and tried to ride in a sleigh," Thor pointed out.
Clint bent over laughing at that image while Natasha grinned.
"I know just the thing," she stated as she grabbed the phone from Clint and started to type a text message.
"What are you up to?" Tony asked.
"I'm sending him the link to I Can Has Cheezburger," Natasha replied as she slowly typed the URL into the phone by hand.
Steve looked perplexed. "I don't understand."
"It's pictures of cute cats and misspelled sayings. You can't stop reading them," Natasha replied primly over the laughter of Clint, Bruce, and Tony.
"It will stop him from being bored?" Thor asked.
"Yes, I guarantee it," Natasha replied with a sadistic grin as she hit send.
"Good... I do not wish to unleash a bored Loki onto Asgard again," Thor said with a sigh of relief.
"It'll also drive him insane," Clint stated in between gasps for breath. "Or, at least, more insane."
"What?" Thor looked confused at the increased laughter in the van.
"I'll show you and Steve at the next rest stop," Natasha said while slipping the cell phone in her pocket.
=====
end part 5
=====
Think about it... Loki, who even though he can blend into the human world a bit better than Thor, going through LOL!Cats? Bwahahahaha!
And, Steve and Thor's reaction! Thor will probably begin to think cats are really like that. -snicker-
Hyposprays do sort of exist. There was a type of insulin that didn't need a needle. But, it was forcing liquid through your skin. Supposedly hurt… a lot. I believe it was taken off the market soon after.
And, one version of this year's influenza vaccination can be given transdermally.
Sorry for the wait on this. I made the mistake of plotting out the story. My brain decided that meant the story is done. Plus, I was trying to figure out something to do in Houston. Then it hit me. Mostly because "Houston, we have a problem." suddenly popped into my head.
Warning 2: This story is not recommended for internal use, implantation or branding.
Disclaimer 1: I don't own the characters. Just in case you were wondering.
Disclaimer 2: I hereby state that I did not ingest, sniff, smoke, or slather onto my body any illegal or regulated substance while this was written.
Thanks to strangevisitor7, ithildyn, bleukittie, ericadawn16, some_day_soling, and lizbet0 on livejournal for help with music, locations, and other ideas.
Double thanks go to ithildyn for also giving this a quick look over for me...
Summary: The Avengers get new orders for an unusual mission...
If This is Wednesday, It Must Be Texarkana
by Ninjababe
=====
The van was quiet. Only the tinny sounds of 'weee!' and the clicking of the laptop's touchpad could be heard as Steve stared intently at the screen.
"I can't believe he got addicted to Angry Birds that quickly," Natasha said softly to Clint.
"I think it's awesome," Clint replied with a grin from the driver's seat.
"Hey!" Steve exclaimed, startling everyone. "The screen went blank! I was going to get three stars on that level!"
Tony rolled his eyes, took the laptop and looked it over. After a few moments, he stated, "The battery's dead."
"Then where are the others? I'll just put more in," Steve replied as he reached for the laptop bag.
"The laptop uses a rechargeable battery," Tony said.
"Then, let's recharge it." Steve pouted.
Bruce shook his head. "We don't have a car cord for the laptop."
"But, my game!" Steve yelled.
"I can't believe you're that addicted to a videogame," Tony said with a wide grin.
"Can't we plug it into Tony's chest?" Steve asked as he glared at Tony.
Tony growled and opened his mouth to reply.
"Actually, I need more flash cards for the camera," Thor interjected.
"You've taken over three hundred photos already?" Bruce asked, shocked. "We're not even a third of the way through the trip!"
Thor nodded. "Of course. I would have taken more, but I was conserving space in the beginning. Then, I read the section in the manual about changing flash cards."
"I guess we're going to a Radio Shack or something," Clint said as Natasha pulled out the map to figure out how far they were from the next town.
"But, three hundred photos!" Bruce exclaimed.
"I also have some video," Thor replied with a wide grin.
"Of what?" Tony asked.
"Mayhap, I will show you... Someday," Thor replied, his smile getting bigger.
=====
"You got stopped for speeding," Clint stated, slightly shocked. "You, who yelled at me for my lead foot."
"Shut up," Tony growled in reply as he turned to the highway patrol officer at his window. "Hello, officer."
"Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked. "Driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance."
Tony handed over the requested items. "I believe I was going the speed limit."
"Holy…." the officer exclaimed to himself. "You're Iron Man!"
Tony grinned, "Yes. Yes, I am."
"Well… I guess I can let you off with a warning this time," the police officer stated while handing back Tony's documentation. "Can I get your autograph for my kid?"
"Sure," Tony replied, his grin widening.
"Just a second. He left his Iron Man action figure in my car. Let me get it."
A few moments later, the highway patrolman was back with a foot tall action figure and a permanent marker.
Thor looked confused as he peered over from the front passenger seat. "It's a doll."
Tony gave Thor a glare. "It's an action figure. A to-scale replica of my suit."
"Now, keep to the speed limit," the officer said before going back to his patrol car.
"I want an action figure!" Bruce pouted as the mini-van pulled back into traffic.
Natasha raised her eyebrows. "You want an Iron Man doll?"
"Action figure!" Tony exclaimed.
Bruce shook his head as he pouted more. "No! One of me!"
Clint started to giggle. "I need the next rest area."
"Why? We just stopped a few minutes ago?" Steve asked, still trying to figure out what had just happened.
"Most rest areas have wifi now. I have to keep up with the latest Stark / Iron Man scandals! This one is gold!" Clint replied before starting to laugh almost hysterically.
"Oh no… We are not posting about this!" Tony growled. "And, Bruce? Lay off the sugar!"
=====
"Houston, we have a problem," Tony said as they passed the city limits of Houston.
"Why do we have a problem?" Thor asked, perplexed.
"It's a popular saying in American culture," Bruce replied. His explanation and background behind the phrase lasted almost until they pulled into the parking lot of Space Center Houston.
"We have time for one thing," Bruce pointed out. "If we want to make San Antonio early enough for the Alamo."
"Hmmm…" Natasha looked at the visitor's map. "Spacesuits or Starships?"
After the usual bickering, they decided on the Starship Gallery.
Thor pointed at one of the exhibits. "You went to your planetary satellite in that?"
Natasha nodded. "Something like that."
"Barbaric," Thor shuddered as he wandered to the next exhibit.
Steve was in awe as he read the plaques. "Wow... We went to space! We went to the moon! I know from the debriefings that it happened. But, to see the actual ships. Just... Wow!"
"Hey!" Tony exclaimed. "I was in space, light years from the Earth even, just a few months ago!"
Clint looked up from his intense whispering with Natasha and sarcastically replied, "And nearly died. Great space suit."
Tony glared around at his grinning teammates, "I couldn't help it if interference from the portal stopped communication with my co-pilot. We're working on that."
"Uh huh," Clint replied distractedly. "Hey, Tasha, how about that?" he asked while pointing at a corner of the ceiling.
Natasha cocked her head, then nodded. "Could work."
Bruce looked suspicious. "What are you two doing?"
"Playing a game," Natasha nonchalantly replied.
Steve snorted. "Based on what I've overheard from you two, it sounds like it should be called 'plan the heist'."
Clint and Natasha both grinned while Natasha replied, "Maybe."
Bruce shook his head and wandered off to another exhibit. "I don't know you people. You are total strangers to me."
"Ah, come on! You know you love us!" Clint called after Bruce while his grin grew wider.
Everyone caught up with Bruce a few minutes later. He was staring at a spacecraft and mumbling to himself, "This is the USS Avengers, it's mission: To boldly..."
Clint points a finger at Bruce, "You're a Trekkie!"
"Trekker, thank you very much," Bruce replied. "And, what of it?"
Natasha cocked her head. "There's a difference?"
Tony sniffed disdainfully. "Obviously, you're too plebeian to know."
"Now what is the Midgardian reference I am not getting?" Thor asked with a sigh.
Steve shrugged. "I don't get it either."
Clint grinned. "So, which one of you is going to explain Star Trek to them?"
"I'll let them watch first season when we get home," Tony replied as he pulled Bruce away. "We'll be in the van. I think we're going to need the sketchpads."
"Did anyone else feel a shiver down their back?" Natasha asked.
Steve nodded. "I think they went into mad scientist mode."
"We really don't need a tricorder or hypospray!" Clint yelled after the two.
"Hyposprays already exist!" Bruce called back as the two left.
=====
Clint pulled the cell phone from his shorts pocket at the text message alert sound. After reading the message, he snorted. "Good."
"What does it say?" Bruce asked, curiously.
"Thor: BORED! Do something stupid to make me laugh! L," Clint replied.
"You think I need to something stupid?!" Thor exclaimed, affronted.
"No," Clint replied. "I'm glad he's bored. I hope he gets so bored, his brains melt and puddle out of his ear."
"The last time my brother was bored, he turned myself and our friends into reindeer and tried to ride in a sleigh," Thor pointed out.
Clint bent over laughing at that image while Natasha grinned.
"I know just the thing," she stated as she grabbed the phone from Clint and started to type a text message.
"What are you up to?" Tony asked.
"I'm sending him the link to I Can Has Cheezburger," Natasha replied as she slowly typed the URL into the phone by hand.
Steve looked perplexed. "I don't understand."
"It's pictures of cute cats and misspelled sayings. You can't stop reading them," Natasha replied primly over the laughter of Clint, Bruce, and Tony.
"It will stop him from being bored?" Thor asked.
"Yes, I guarantee it," Natasha replied with a sadistic grin as she hit send.
"Good... I do not wish to unleash a bored Loki onto Asgard again," Thor said with a sigh of relief.
"It'll also drive him insane," Clint stated in between gasps for breath. "Or, at least, more insane."
"What?" Thor looked confused at the increased laughter in the van.
"I'll show you and Steve at the next rest stop," Natasha said while slipping the cell phone in her pocket.
=====
end part 5
=====
Think about it... Loki, who even though he can blend into the human world a bit better than Thor, going through LOL!Cats? Bwahahahaha!
And, Steve and Thor's reaction! Thor will probably begin to think cats are really like that. -snicker-
Hyposprays do sort of exist. There was a type of insulin that didn't need a needle. But, it was forcing liquid through your skin. Supposedly hurt… a lot. I believe it was taken off the market soon after.
And, one version of this year's influenza vaccination can be given transdermally.
Sorry for the wait on this. I made the mistake of plotting out the story. My brain decided that meant the story is done. Plus, I was trying to figure out something to do in Houston. Then it hit me. Mostly because "Houston, we have a problem." suddenly popped into my head.