LotR: The Sequel!
From a post made in December, 2004 on my old journal...
You saw him as a great eye in Return of the King... Now, he's back, he's better, he's mobile!
It's Sauron!
On a pogo stick!
Yes, he is no longer bound on top of the black, pointy tower of doom (tm).
An Ithildin Studio Production
Ninjababe, Executive Writer
---
[Scene opens with Frodo and Sam over emoting on the slope of Mt. FluffnStuff, as Mt. Doom is closed for chimney sweeping]
Frodo: Oh, Sam.
Sam: Mr. Frodo, sir... [pauses, looks around, cutely discombobulated] What is that boingy noise?
[Sauron, a giant flaming eye, bounces up the slope of Mt. FluffnStuff. As he gets closer, it's apparent he's riding a small pogo stick. Obviously an ACME product if it can hold the weight of a giant flaming eye]
Sauron: 'Ello, my good chaps! Fine day, innit?
Frodo: AAAAAAA! It's Sauron!
Sam: But, he's on a pogo stick! And has a bad English accent. Its... It's...
Frodo: What? Awful? Disgusting? Terrifying?
Sam: No... It's... well... cute!
Sauron: 'Oo's a lovely hobbitses, then? Yes it is, gov'n'er. 'Ere, 'ave an apple. Barbossa dropped them off for me.
Sam: Apple? Where?
Sauron: Oh, bother. I forgot. I 'ave no arms. Therefore, I can' carry apples. Sorry, chap.
[Frodo looks glazed]
Sam: Mr Frodo? What's wrong. Is the ring calling?
Frodo: [nods and mutters] Starbucks. Must have a latte. Starbucks. Must have a latte.
[scene fades to black as writer needs alcohol to stop the progression of this scene into something silly.]
===
And, that was written while 100% sober!!!!
Idea was Ith's, based this 'quote':
"Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth!"
"He can't... He's an eye on a stick."
Writing was from my demented little brain.
You saw him as a great eye in Return of the King... Now, he's back, he's better, he's mobile!
It's Sauron!
On a pogo stick!
Yes, he is no longer bound on top of the black, pointy tower of doom (tm).
An Ithildin Studio Production
Ninjababe, Executive Writer
---
[Scene opens with Frodo and Sam over emoting on the slope of Mt. FluffnStuff, as Mt. Doom is closed for chimney sweeping]
Frodo: Oh, Sam.
Sam: Mr. Frodo, sir... [pauses, looks around, cutely discombobulated] What is that boingy noise?
[Sauron, a giant flaming eye, bounces up the slope of Mt. FluffnStuff. As he gets closer, it's apparent he's riding a small pogo stick. Obviously an ACME product if it can hold the weight of a giant flaming eye]
Sauron: 'Ello, my good chaps! Fine day, innit?
Frodo: AAAAAAA! It's Sauron!
Sam: But, he's on a pogo stick! And has a bad English accent. Its... It's...
Frodo: What? Awful? Disgusting? Terrifying?
Sam: No... It's... well... cute!
Sauron: 'Oo's a lovely hobbitses, then? Yes it is, gov'n'er. 'Ere, 'ave an apple. Barbossa dropped them off for me.
Sam: Apple? Where?
Sauron: Oh, bother. I forgot. I 'ave no arms. Therefore, I can' carry apples. Sorry, chap.
[Frodo looks glazed]
Sam: Mr Frodo? What's wrong. Is the ring calling?
Frodo: [nods and mutters] Starbucks. Must have a latte. Starbucks. Must have a latte.
[scene fades to black as writer needs alcohol to stop the progression of this scene into something silly.]
===
And, that was written while 100% sober!!!!
Idea was Ith's, based this 'quote':
"Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth!"
"He can't... He's an eye on a stick."
Writing was from my demented little brain.