Because Ithildyn told me to...
Ith said this was so funny, that I had to repost it... So, da da dum!
Here's the story, direct from my archives:
From 2006 or so...
Some background: Ith and I like to take long road trips. I drive about 99% of the time (Ninja like to go vroooooom!). Imagine this... You have a woman who is weird and strange to begin with (me), put her in a small metal box that is hurtling down a deserted interstate at around 70 mph. It's dark out side. There's no one around. What does she do? She makes up stories about Antonio Bandaras, his Durango, Castroville, bathrobes, and oil rigs. (All said in a very bad, thick Spanish accent.)
A few trips ago, a mob, Arwen on a horse, and outlaws got into the mix.
Now, on the last trip, turkeys and Johnny Depp got involved.
All of Antonio's lines are done in the bad, thick Spanish accent mentioned above. Johnny's lines are in a thick, bad Southern accent (For some bizarre reason). Here is that story:
Antonio Bandaras, wearing only a pair of boxers and a bathrobe, manically drove his Durango to the designated meeting point. He and Johnny Depp were off to pick up chicks and party until the cows came home. To disguise themselves, they were each going to wear a pair of thick framed glasses with a fake nose and mustache attached.
Antonio picked up Johnny, who was also wearing boxers, a bathrobe, and the aforementioned fake glasses.
"Why is there a pair a turkeys in the back seat?" Johnny asked as he shut the passenger door of the Durango behind him and readjusted his boxers.
"I promised to deliver them to Washington, DC for the presidential pardon," Antonio replied.
"We're in Southern California."
"Si. Do not worry, it will be quick. Then, we go an pick up chicks."
Suddenly, the two were in the middle of the Nevada desert, driving along at obviously subsonic speeds as it takes quite a few hours to get from the greater LA area to Nevada.
Johnny kept glancing at the turkeys behind them. "That turkey is lookin' at me funny," he stated as he readjusted his fake mustache.
"Perhaps, they are hungry? Why don't you feed them?" Antonio suggested as he stopped the car on the side of the interstate, the Durango tires smoking.
"Why me?"
"You are from the south, are you not? You know how to feed turkeys."
Johnny got quite upset at Antonio over that remark. "That is racial profiling!"
The two men got out of the Durango and a yelling match between the two commenced. Soon, one of the turkeys also got out of the car and sat at Johnny's feet. It was obviously enamored with the actor.
Suddenly, Antonio looked wide eyed behind Johnny and pointed. "Look!"
Johnny whirled around. "What?"
Jumping into the Durango, slamming the driver's door shut, Antonio continued through the unbeforementioned open car window. "A tattoo artist! Should you not commemorate this event with new body art?"
Johnny was too busy peering into the dark night to notice Antonio Bandaras drive the Durango off.
Now, Antonio Bandaras is driving the lone turkey to Washington, DC for a Presidential pardon. And, what of Johnny Depp?
He still searches the desert for the tattoo artist, which always seems to be a step ahead of him. And the infatuated turkey follows faithfully behind.
One day, I'll tape myself saying some of the words and link them as .wav files. The story is so much... well, more, heard than typed.
Here's the story, direct from my archives:
From 2006 or so...
Some background: Ith and I like to take long road trips. I drive about 99% of the time (Ninja like to go vroooooom!). Imagine this... You have a woman who is weird and strange to begin with (me), put her in a small metal box that is hurtling down a deserted interstate at around 70 mph. It's dark out side. There's no one around. What does she do? She makes up stories about Antonio Bandaras, his Durango, Castroville, bathrobes, and oil rigs. (All said in a very bad, thick Spanish accent.)
A few trips ago, a mob, Arwen on a horse, and outlaws got into the mix.
Now, on the last trip, turkeys and Johnny Depp got involved.
All of Antonio's lines are done in the bad, thick Spanish accent mentioned above. Johnny's lines are in a thick, bad Southern accent (For some bizarre reason). Here is that story:
Antonio Bandaras, wearing only a pair of boxers and a bathrobe, manically drove his Durango to the designated meeting point. He and Johnny Depp were off to pick up chicks and party until the cows came home. To disguise themselves, they were each going to wear a pair of thick framed glasses with a fake nose and mustache attached.
Antonio picked up Johnny, who was also wearing boxers, a bathrobe, and the aforementioned fake glasses.
"Why is there a pair a turkeys in the back seat?" Johnny asked as he shut the passenger door of the Durango behind him and readjusted his boxers.
"I promised to deliver them to Washington, DC for the presidential pardon," Antonio replied.
"We're in Southern California."
"Si. Do not worry, it will be quick. Then, we go an pick up chicks."
Suddenly, the two were in the middle of the Nevada desert, driving along at obviously subsonic speeds as it takes quite a few hours to get from the greater LA area to Nevada.
Johnny kept glancing at the turkeys behind them. "That turkey is lookin' at me funny," he stated as he readjusted his fake mustache.
"Perhaps, they are hungry? Why don't you feed them?" Antonio suggested as he stopped the car on the side of the interstate, the Durango tires smoking.
"Why me?"
"You are from the south, are you not? You know how to feed turkeys."
Johnny got quite upset at Antonio over that remark. "That is racial profiling!"
The two men got out of the Durango and a yelling match between the two commenced. Soon, one of the turkeys also got out of the car and sat at Johnny's feet. It was obviously enamored with the actor.
Suddenly, Antonio looked wide eyed behind Johnny and pointed. "Look!"
Johnny whirled around. "What?"
Jumping into the Durango, slamming the driver's door shut, Antonio continued through the unbeforementioned open car window. "A tattoo artist! Should you not commemorate this event with new body art?"
Johnny was too busy peering into the dark night to notice Antonio Bandaras drive the Durango off.
Now, Antonio Bandaras is driving the lone turkey to Washington, DC for a Presidential pardon. And, what of Johnny Depp?
He still searches the desert for the tattoo artist, which always seems to be a step ahead of him. And the infatuated turkey follows faithfully behind.
One day, I'll tape myself saying some of the words and link them as .wav files. The story is so much... well, more, heard than typed.