Title: Love turned inside out
Author:
ninja_toesCharacters/Pairing: slight Klaus/Elijah, Rebekah, OCs
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, child abuse, hints of incest, dark themes, AU
Summary: The hurt that the head forgets, the heart will always remember.
Author's Note: This is my very first fanfic so I’d like to thank my lovely beta
lit_chick08 for all of her help, you're amazing! <3
--
I was put together wrong,
Still I was made for you
when our stitches come undone,
We come together like glue
Do-You- Carina-Round
Rebekah loved her family. It was one of the only things she knew for certain.
She was the last born of seven siblings. Her mother doted upon her. One of the earliest memories she had of her human life was the sound of her mother’s voice, humming to her softly as she combed the knots from her hair.
Her sister Lucina, who was one year her senior, was exceedingly jealous of the attention their mother would bestow upon Rebekah. The two would often bicker as young children and Lucina would regularly try and conspire ways to win their mother’s favor.
Rebekah could not differ more from her sister. Lucina was well polished and refined; she was soft spoken and decorated herself with fine clothing. Rebekah, on the other hand, was often loud and boisterous. Her clothes were always dirty and tattered, dirt encrusted thick under her fingernails.
But even through all the half hearted battles between them, the love was still there. Rebekah could still recall with perfect clarity being grounded by the firm grasp of her sister’s hand, the two of them huddled together at the sound of their fathers rage.
--
Her older brothers Atticus and Decimus were born on the same day, inseparable from the start. She loved them because they thrived on mischief. She would often spend her days with them running around the fields of their family’s estate, rigging traps and hanging pails of water from tree limbs to torment their unsuspecting siblings.
Atticus was their father’s favorite son. He was always obedient and respectful to him never questioning anything. Their father would often take Atticus with him on his long trips into the country. And when their father would leave home at strange hours of the night it was always Atticus that accompanied him, his face pale and stricken when they finally returned.
As the years passed the mischievous light that used to shine in Atti’s eyes faded to something dark and sinister. When Rebekah looked too deeply at her brother, she could see a reflection of her father’s cruelty looking back at her. And as always, wherever Atticus went, Decimus was sure to follow.
--
The eldest of Rebekah’s siblings was her sister Persephone. And although Atticus was her father’s favorite son, Persephone was his favorite child. Despite being female, her sister was given power and authority that not even their mother was allowed.
When their father was away, Persephone’s word was law and she enjoyed lording that over all of them. Whereas Atticus developed his cruelty over time, Rebekah could not remember Persephone being anything but cold and vindictive.
Whereas her father's anger rarely touched Rebekah, Persephone's rage touched everyone. Persephone was very easily displeased and her fingers were always adorned with many expensive rings that would leave rivulets of blood dripping down Rebekah’s cheeks.
Yet despite her many faults Persephone was protective of her younger siblings. She would always pronounce that she only wished to teach them and would often coin phrases from their father, saying things like, “You will suffer through this and be stronger for it. I only wish to teach you that we are not weak.”
Although often heavy-handed and cruel, Rebekah always knew she was safe with Persephone, that she would protect them all with her life. And if only for that Rebekah loved her.
--
The last of Rebekah’s siblings were Elijah and Niklaus. Niklaus was the youngest son and Elijah was the oldest.
Elijah and their father did not get along.
Elijah always took the time to explain things to Rebekah in ways she would understand. When she was very young and her other siblings were unkind and intolerant with her, Elijah would sweep her up into his arms and place a gentle kiss to her forehead. She remembers sitting on his knee as a child, her head nestled into the crook of his shoulder as she listened to his stories and fables.
Rebekah loved all of her siblings but Elijah was her favorite.
Yet all the things Rebekah loved best about Elijah seemed to be what their father despised most. The two always had differences of opinion but Elijah was more often than not a victim of their father’s rage. The primary reason for this was Elijah’s fiercely protective predisposition when it came to Niklaus.
Her Mother had told Rebekah once that the gods gave Niklaus to Elijah.
On the night their mother gave birth to Niklaus her father had not been there. Persephone had been stricken with a terrible fever and their father had taken her, along with Decimus and Atticus, into the heart of Rome to seek treatment from the healers.
Due to her father’s distrustful nature their family never had any maids or servants for very long. Any they did have would sooner or later end up strung up with their throats cut for crimes they usually did not even commit. So when their mother went in to labor the only person present was a very young Elijah.
He was barely four summers old but he held their mothers hand and wiped the sweat from her brow. And once Niklaus was born Elijah wrapped the infant in soft furs and held him until their father returned.
Rebekah’s father was not a moral man. She had learned that from a very young age. He was brutally strict and pitiless in what he referred to as his lessons. But beneath all his iniquity in his own way he did care for his children. Even in his deepest rages Rebekah could see a spark of something in his eyes that could be called affection.
But not with Niklaus.
Even in moments of respite when the family in its entirety could occupy the same space without conflict. Rebekah would watch her father gaze at an unaware Niklaus with naked detestation. As if he was made ill by the very sight of him.
Rebekah’s father hated Niklaus. He always had.
The smallest mistake, the most miniscule slip-up and Niklaus would suffer for it. Sometimes her brother would be beaten for nothing at all.
For speaking to loudly, for breathing to loudly.
For existing.
Their father’s attacks on Niklaus would occasionally involve their mother, whose fierce love for her children often withered from fear of her husband. But they always involved Elijah.
Even when Elijah had been a very small boy he would still attempt to protect Niklaus. Placing himself between his cowering younger brother and their brawny, strongly built, enraged father.
Rebekah remembers lying in her bed at night and hearing her father’s voice, unhinged and deranged; coupled with the sounds of her brothers’ anguished pleas and screams.
Any involvement on Elijah’s part would simply end with him being forced to watch Niklaus’ punishment carried out anyway. Their father would then drag Elijah out front, tie him to the stocks and whip him for his insolence. He was always left there, secured to the stocks with ragged wire tied tightly around his wrists
Sometimes for days.
Rebekah would hide underneath her bed and weep, too terrified of her father to even think of trying to interfere.
--
Regardless of how many times their Father taught this “lesson” to Elijah he would still step in when Niklaus was threatened.
Every time.
Sometimes Niklaus would be beaten so severely he would be bed ridden for days. One morning when Rebekah’s father had taken the boys for their schooling she chanced entering Niklaus’ room.
He was pale and shivering, mumbling softly, his brow furrowed in distress.
She crossed the room slowly until she could make out the soft sounds he was making.
“LijahLijahLijahLijah.” His voice was barely audible and was accompanied by a soft wheezing sound.
She felt her throat tighten at the picture her brother made. To see Niklaus so frail and vulnerable seemed wrong somehow.
Although Niklaus was often withdrawn and defensive he was always so animated. He radiated energy in everything he did and to see him laying there so helpless unsettled something inside her.
On instinct she grabbed for his hand but was startled when Niklaus’ distressed cries for Elijah increased in volume.
It was then that her mother entered, ushering Rebekah quickly out of the room and closing the door behind her.
Rebekah knew that her brothers had an attachment to each other that exceeded what she could understand.
It was no secret that Niklaus was Elijah’s favorite or that Niklaus equally adored him in return.
Her brothers’ bond was so different, so separate from everything and everyone else. The physical contact between them was almost constant.
Niklaus’ arm draped over Elijah’s shoulders. Elijah’s hand placed absentmindedly on the back of Niklaus’ neck. Their heads bend close together, always laughing and whispering things the others were never permitted to know.
But unlike with her other siblings she never felt excluded when she spent time with Elijah and Niklaus.
Rebekah’s father sent all the boys to be educated by tutors but the girls were not permitted. Neither was Niklaus.
So of course Elijah took it upon himself to teach their brother himself. Though many would think it unorthodox for a female to have the need for education Rebekah also regularly sat in on their lessons.
“I want to know.” She would tell Elijah.
He would always smile softly at her, “And you have every right too. That is what makes you so special Meum Corculum.” (my little heart)
Elijah would teach them about art and languages. About history and warfare and what it meant to have integrity and morality.
She remembers the grass soft under her fingertips, leaning against a tree in the fields of her family’s home while listening to Elijah speak of Aristotle and Nicomachean Ethics.
Niklaus’ eyes rapt and captivated, his head resting in Elijah’s lap while Elijah’s fingers played idly with the soft curls at the base of Nik’s neck.
While Rebekah‘s relationship with Elijah was always very soft and affectionate, her and Niklaus were much more playful and teasing with each other.
He was mostly kind to her but there was always an edge to it that was slightly mocking. She and Nik would often tussle around together, an activity much more suited for two brothers than a brother and sister.
But there was always a line with Niklaus. A certain distance that he forcibly upheld with everyone. The only exception being Elijah.
She never felt a genuine closeness between them until after Elijah was sent away by their father.
--
On the winter of Elijah’s 16th year he was forced into servitude and sent off to fight as an auxiliary in someone else’s war.
The day he left Rebekah remembers it being unbearably cold. Her finger tips frost bitten and numb as she dug them into Elijah’s shoulders, her face buried in his chest.
She remembers him wiping the tears from her face and telling her that this goodbye was not forever.
Rebekah was not there when Elijah said goodbye to Niklaus but she found him later that night. Crouched on the ground behind their family’s barn, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. His hands knotted in his hair.
She hesitated before approaching him. Nik could often react unkindly when he mistook acts of compassion for pity.
She knelt down slowly next to her brother and laid her hand softly on his shoulder. He startled so violently she lost her balance and fell to the ground beside him.
They just stared at each other for a moment.
His eyes were dangerously red and swollen. And there was something glazed and unfocused about his gaze that was unsettling.
It reminded Rebekah of the time her father had hit Elijah in the side of the head with one of the pokers used to tend the fire. Elijah had been hazy eyed and unbalanced for days afterwards.
She was shaken from her thoughts when Niklaus suddenly lurched to the side and vomited. Rebekah’s hands moved of their own accord, grasping the back of his neck the way she had seen Elijah do hundreds of times.
He tensed at first but he did not pull away from her as she had expected him too. She kept her hand a steady pressure on his neck until the tremors shooting through his body lessened and she felt him relax under her touch.
When he finally looked up at her the light from the moon overhead cast an almost ethereal luminosity to his sallow face.
He didn’t say anything. Just looked at her, something akin to confusion in his gaze.
He then gently removed her hand, stood slowly on trembling legs and walked away from her.
But she had felt, if almost imperceptibly, him lightly squeeze her hand before releasing it.
--
The following seasons saw both of her older sisters married off.
Persephone married in to riches of course. Never the one to be taken advantage of or to have things be any other way than exactly as she wanted them.
But Lucina, who was always more timorous and reserved, was betrothed to a man nearly three times her age.
Lucina came to her on the day before she was to be wed and Rebekah could see the hopelessness in her sister’s eyes. Rebekah was fairly certain Lucina did not even like the man she was arranged to marry never mind love him enough to share his bed.
But things would proceed regardless and all Rebekah could do was hold her sister in her arms and tell her everything would be alright.
Even if it was a lie.
--
Elijah wrote to them all when permitted but the letters were few and far in between.
His elongated absence wore on Niklaus
Nik and Atticus were constantly at odds. And not in the good natured way that Rebekah and Lucina had always bickered but malicious, spiteful words that would end with them coming to blows.
Atticus hated Niklaus simply because their father hated him. And now that Elijah was no longer there to protect him Atticus took any and every opportunity to make sure Niklaus knew that.
Nik’s behavior became increasingly nonsensical and unpredictable. To the point where Rebekah sometimes wondered if he was purposely provoking their father.
And without Elijah to refocus their father’s anger...
Rebekah would always shove down her guilt as she’d try to sleep through the sounds of Niklaus’ suffering.
Her father roaring words like, “Disgrace! Abomination!”
Sometimes Niklaus would cry for Elijah and in those moments Rebekah couldn’t help but hear Elijah’s voice in her head telling her ‘inaction was often the same as cowardice.’
--
Niklaus would make Rebekah uneasy at times. The way he spoke of certain things or the way he would look at things sometimes. But he would always shrug it off with a joke or a smile and things would be alright again.
But he had never truly frightened her until the day they came across the body of one of their family’s maids, her throat slit and her body lifeless.
Her name had been Annia and she was a sweet natured, plump woman who was always firm in her expectations but not unkindly so. She would often sneak them apples from the kitchens and used to tuck loose strands of Rebekah’s hair behind her ear in a way that reminded her of Elijah.
Their father had accused Annia of stealing family valuables and had executed her himself. As he had done with many servants before her.
When Rebekah and Niklaus came across her body she was long since dead. Rebekah remembers being frozen and lightheaded, her hand searching for purchase on the trunk of the tree she stood beside.
It was not the first dead servant they had seen but the amount of blood had been massive. Almost inhumanly so. As if someone had poured several pales of it on top of her.
She could not look at anything else.
Niklaus had slowly approached the body and knelt beside it. She’d watched him in confusion and felt her stomach constrict as he ran his hand over the blood soaked earth.
His fingers were painted crimson, a few of the droplets gathering to drip off his fingertips. She looked to his face in surprise and froze at what she saw there.
The awe on his face was unmistakable. His eyes were fractured open with fascination and curiosity but also something detached and apathetic that sent a jolt of fear through her that she’d never felt before. Not even with her father.
In that moment he was terrifying.
--
When Elijah finally returned to them she hardly recognized her brother.
The line of his jaw was sharper and lightly stubbled and his hair had grown out to where it almost touched his shoulders.
He had laughed as she jumped in to his arms, swinging her around as he’d done when she was a small child.
She’d run her hands over his face again and again as he’d forced a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.
For her brother had returned to them with far more scars than what he had left with.
When Nik had come home that day to find their brother present he had simply buried his face in Elijah’s neck and sobbed.
It was the first time Rebekah had ever seen him truly cry and she recalls the look of overcome love and relief on Elijah’s face, his eyes closed tightly, both hands knotted in Niklaus’ hair.
In all her naivety Rebekah had thought that perhaps everything would change then, that things would get better.
Somehow they got progressively worse.
--
The name of the man Rebekah was eventually betrothed to marry was Tomas. He was twenty years and six and she did not meet him until the day of her wedding.
His hair was as dark as his skin was pale and he had remarkably amber eyes.
Yet he was shy and hesitant when he first took her hand in his. A timid and slightly nervous smile on his face.
She remembers the terror she first felt when her father informed her she was to be given away.
She feared being forced in to a cold and loveless marriage the way her sister Lucina had been. She never imagined that she would come to care for him.
There was a childlike charm about Tomas that she was instantly drawn to. He was never anything but kindhearted and tender with her. Qualities that almost instantly annoyed Nik who would use his superior intellect to be consistently sarcastic and mocking.
But in spite of his disapproval, on her wedding day he had slipped his hand into hers and flashed her a genuine smile,
“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” Niklaus had always been horribly confusing at best.
The day of the ceremony had been excessively extravagant. Food and riches overflowing from every table. Flowers and strands of garland strung from every tree.
She remembers the feeling of the embroidered silk gown that Persephone had seemed for her.
Rebekah’s wedding had been the first time she had seen either of her sisters in many months.
Lucina, who had always been petite in stature, looked almost sickly. The pale blue dress she wore did nothing to hide the bones protruding from her back and shoulders. Her face was gaunt and a dark bruise adorned her right cheek.
Rebekah had watched Elijah’s eyes darken as he stared at Lucina’s husband’s hand tightly gripping their sister’s wrist.
Niklaus had stood close by Elijah’s side, whispering discontentedly in to his ear. About his displeasure regarding her newly acquired husband no doubt.
Their relationships had changed in the years following Elijah’s return. Niklaus had become increasingly possessive of their brother and abhorred it when Elijah showed the slightest bit of attention to anyone, herself included.
She frequently found herself just simply observing them.
Rebekah had always been told she was exceptionally observant and she often sensed things that others would not.
Elijah and Niklaus had always been very physically affectionate with each other but there was a change in Nik’s behavior towards their brother that she could not help but notice.
The way his hand would rest possessively on the small of Elijah’s back. Touches that lasted a second longer then what would be considered proper
She could not help but notice it, but it wasn’t until many years later that she would understand why.
--
A few weeks after her wedding she had returned home to their family’s estate to visit her mother. Her mother had informed her that Lucina would be moving back home along with her two children.
When she inquired as to why, her mother told her that Luncina’s husband was found dead that very morning.
He had been beaten to death and dismembered, she’d said. Both of his hands had been cut off at the wrist.
--
They found out the truth about Niklaus shortly after they became vampires.
It was not as shocking as it should have been. Some part of her felt as if she may have always known.
Her father’s disposition towards Niklaus coupled with the strange curve of Nik’s mouth and his shining green eyes that neither their mother nor father possessed.
He was not their father’s son.
Things seemed to take place rather quickly after that. The slaughtering of her mother’s werewolf lover along with the rest of his family was only the beginning.
The remaining werewolves took vengeance on Rebekah’s family. Aided by a coven of witches determined to restore the balance they journeyed to Rebekah’s family’s estate.
Under the glow of the harvest moon her mother, still mortal, was ripped to pieces by the very kin of her lover.
In the hours following, the servants of nature set in motion a ritual that soaked the fields Rebekah once played in as a child with Petrova blood.
The curse they placed on her brother was meant to contain his werewolf half and left him severely weakened at first.
Her father had blamed Niklaus for their mother’s death, as he blamed him for all things.
Elijah was forced to flee with Nik in fear of their father’s retribution.
They did not return for many months.
The next time Rebekah saw Niklaus he was crouched over the remains of her dead husband. The small bodies of Lucina’s young children lay strewn haphazardly in the doorway.
The smell of blood was overwhelming; Rebekah felt her face shift in response to it.
“They are a liability to us now.” His eyes were cold and calculating, watching her for a reaction.
She felt fury burn deep within her chest but as it always had her fear of self preservation won out. When he asked her to come with him, told her that Elijah missed her, she went willingly.
--
When Lucina finally caught up with them Rebekah was honestly taken aback. Even in the face of her slaughtered children Rebekah had always thought her sister too fearful too kind to ever attempt vengeance.
It took only moments and her sister was overpowered by their brother and pierced through the heart with a stake carved from white oak. The witches claim this can harm us. Elijah had told them.
“Do not look so forlorn Rebekah we had to know if this could truly kill us. She was the weakest of us, my dear. You should be grateful.” She could hear the exasperation in Nik’s voice followed by the sound of his footsteps retreating.
Lucina’s face was ashen and coarse when she touched her.
Rebekah remembered a time when her sister would hold tightly to her hand for comfort. So cradling her lifeless hand in hers one last time, she intertwined their fingers together.
--
When Rebekah searched out Elijah in her grief she found he already knew.
The room she discovered her brothers in was in ruins. Furniture broken, glass shattered, blood smearing the walls.
In the middle of it all sat Niklaus and Elijah. The pain and anger on Elijah’s face was palpable, tears streaking down his cheeks.
Niklaus held tightly to his shoulders attempting to press their foreheads together even as Elijah tried to pull away.
“Please. I am sorry, please! It had to be done! I did this for us! You have to understand that! They will take from us Elijah! Please, listen to me!” Nik’s voice broke over the words and it enraged her that this anguish in him came not from slaying their flesh and blood sister but from the fact that it had upset Elijah.
She watched as Elijah surrendered to their brother, as he always had. Letting Niklaus bridge the gap between them and press their lips together
She knew in that moment she had to let them go.
She had to let Elijah go.
He had never been hers; he had never belonged to anyone but Niklaus.
As she left them that night she felt the first stirrings of hatred in her heart.
For what is hatred if not love turned inside out.