1)Diablo would be too overconfident, and Kratos would eat him alive. Then, Kratos would jab the soulstone into his ashen flesh. Winner: Diablo
2)Ryu and Liu go on for a while, then Ryu freaks out and does a stupid long combo, nearly destroying him. He then promptly summons fire out of nowhere and rapes him. Winner: Liu. By a race.
3)The overmind can only be harmed by dark templar. Is the Lich king a dark templar? No. So props to the Overmind. Serve the hive. Winner: The Overmind
4)In this fight, the only people who win are the drooling fanboys who get to see a catfight. Winner: Sweaty middle aged men. Ew.
5)Burnout three was made for smashing sh*t up. They just keep coming. And they LIKE being blown up. Besides, if the cars do get destroyed, they blow. Kaboom, mo' money. Winner: Burnout 3
6)Optimus would undoutedly try to reason with him, thinking it was a new autobot, to which the response would be *CUTTED* and then his spark would fly away into space. AS such, Wing zero would fly off and use the dramatic lighting to create a proper victory pose. Winner: Wing Zero
7)Zero runs up and tries to cut Samus. She rolls into a ball and leaves a bomb. Ow, though Zero is still fine. Now, Samus, being no fool, simply takes off her helmet and shakes out her hair, initiating a cut scene. Also, turning Zero on. Boom, headshot. Shes fully charged and hes stuck shifting his weight and possibly hodling his arm for ten freaking minutes. Winner: Samus Aran
8)Leo has no belt with a big target on it. Jason kicks Leo in stomach, and promptly loses leg to REAL weapons. Winner: Leo
9)Godzilla scares all the thousands of asian men away, breaking the only hope of defeating Bahamut. Bahamut comes down to just above Godzillas range, and megablasts him. Godzilla can do nothing but sit and take it. Point and case: Mothra only lost when she went close. The fool. Winner: Bahamut
10)Vin Diesel lives for this shit, but Chuck Norris is like steel. They fight for days in a row before deciding that it't not worth it, then go own them up some terrorists and bask in thier international harems. Winner: The harems, those lucky whores.
11)Alright, Chung Li starts the fight off by rushing Samus and promptly getting blown away. In the meantime, as Joanna has already slipped into the shadows. She tranquilizes Samus but fails to see the invisible woman. She is eventually found trying to take Arans gun, and is held fast until Samus wakes up. Shes not a happy camper. Winners: Samus Aran and The Invisible Woman
12)Red mage starts by ripping up an amazing +4 plan to beat thier opponents, and Aeris innocently faints. White mage whips out the hammer and crushes Red mage as she notices him gawking at Aeris, and at the same time Aeris gets owned by Bahamut, because lets face it, no one pays attention to Yuna unless shes casting something or dancing. Winner: Yuna and Estrogen. I mean White Mage.
13)We all win. Really, but Rikku is useless without supplies, so she just serves as a speedbump to Bloodrayne, who is promptly shot in the face by Laura, duely style might I add, as soon as her blade digs into Rikku. Tifa then slaps Laura into next tuesday and the fight goes on for a few hours. Everyones too busy wiping drool off thier keyboards to care who wins. Winner: Everyone but Rikku. Bloodrayne just gets back up.
14)No contest. They are the same person. Well, plus or minus one supway diet. Winner: No one. Oh god my brain.
15)Paine is impervious to Legolas's looks, and thus disposes of him as he fixes his hair. Winner: Men everywhere.
16)No winner, they live in perfect harmony, as C3PO can easily translate her annoyance into witty banter. Winner: No one, unless R2 manages to turn those garbage mashers back on.
17)Kirby sucks up jigglypuff, and then gains the ability to sing. Winner: Nintendo, hooray for another cash cow.
18)John Grimm was the rock. Electra was not the rock. Thus, Grimm wins. Winner: People who skipped both movies.
19)Oh god... The pain... Only one thing can come of this. Winner: The Blue Beetle.
20)Pssht, we all no a mechanazi would be in legue with a mechasatan anyway. Winner:Skinheads and satanists everywhere. Well, at least the mecha-ones.
Winner: Diablo
2)Ryu and Liu go on for a while, then Ryu freaks out and does a stupid long combo, nearly destroying him. He then promptly summons fire out of nowhere and rapes him.
Winner: Liu. By a race.
3)The overmind can only be harmed by dark templar. Is the Lich king a dark templar? No. So props to the Overmind. Serve the hive.
Winner: The Overmind
4)In this fight, the only people who win are the drooling fanboys who get to see a catfight.
Winner: Sweaty middle aged men. Ew.
5)Burnout three was made for smashing sh*t up. They just keep coming. And they LIKE being blown up. Besides, if the cars do get destroyed, they blow. Kaboom, mo' money.
Winner: Burnout 3
6)Optimus would undoutedly try to reason with him, thinking it was a new autobot, to which the response would be *CUTTED* and then his spark would fly away into space. AS such, Wing zero would fly off and use the dramatic lighting to create a proper victory pose.
Winner: Wing Zero
7)Zero runs up and tries to cut Samus. She rolls into a ball and leaves a bomb. Ow, though Zero is still fine. Now, Samus, being no fool, simply takes off her helmet and shakes out her hair, initiating a cut scene. Also, turning Zero on. Boom, headshot. Shes fully charged and hes stuck shifting his weight and possibly hodling his arm for ten freaking minutes.
Winner: Samus Aran
8)Leo has no belt with a big target on it. Jason kicks Leo in stomach, and promptly loses leg to REAL weapons.
Winner: Leo
9)Godzilla scares all the thousands of asian men away, breaking the only hope of defeating Bahamut. Bahamut comes down to just above Godzillas range, and megablasts him. Godzilla can do nothing but sit and take it. Point and case: Mothra only lost when she went close. The fool.
Winner: Bahamut
10)Vin Diesel lives for this shit, but Chuck Norris is like steel. They fight for days in a row before deciding that it't not worth it, then go own them up some terrorists and bask in thier international harems.
Winner: The harems, those lucky whores.
11)Alright, Chung Li starts the fight off by rushing Samus and promptly getting blown away. In the meantime, as Joanna has already slipped into the shadows. She tranquilizes Samus but fails to see the invisible woman. She is eventually found trying to take Arans gun, and is held fast until Samus wakes up. Shes not a happy camper.
Winners: Samus Aran and The Invisible Woman
12)Red mage starts by ripping up an amazing +4 plan to beat thier opponents, and Aeris innocently faints. White mage whips out the hammer and crushes Red mage as she notices him gawking at Aeris, and at the same time Aeris gets owned by Bahamut, because lets face it, no one pays attention to Yuna unless shes casting something or dancing.
Winner: Yuna and Estrogen. I mean White Mage.
13)We all win. Really, but Rikku is useless without supplies, so she just serves as a speedbump to Bloodrayne, who is promptly shot in the face by Laura, duely style might I add, as soon as her blade digs into Rikku. Tifa then slaps Laura into next tuesday and the fight goes on for a few hours. Everyones too busy wiping drool off thier keyboards to care who wins.
Winner: Everyone but Rikku. Bloodrayne just gets back up.
14)No contest. They are the same person. Well, plus or minus one supway diet.
Winner: No one. Oh god my brain.
15)Paine is impervious to Legolas's looks, and thus disposes of him as he fixes his hair.
Winner: Men everywhere.
16)No winner, they live in perfect harmony, as C3PO can easily translate her annoyance into witty banter.
Winner: No one, unless R2 manages to turn those garbage mashers back on.
17)Kirby sucks up jigglypuff, and then gains the ability to sing.
Winner: Nintendo, hooray for another cash cow.
18)John Grimm was the rock. Electra was not the rock. Thus, Grimm wins.
Winner: People who skipped both movies.
19)Oh god... The pain... Only one thing can come of this.
Winner: The Blue Beetle.
20)Pssht, we all no a mechanazi would be in legue with a mechasatan anyway.
Winner:Skinheads and satanists everywhere. Well, at least the mecha-ones.
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