Not in good health.
I'm sick. Maybe it's nothing, maybe I'll have to go to the hospital...
I've not said anything for too long, I need to tell people, just in case.
Lately, my health has been deteriorating, reather it's from my abuse or just a disease, my body is going all the wrong ways.
I've been nauseous for daus, I have a slight fever (I NEVER have a fever) There's an unexplained lump in my lower back, and it's not a stresss knot, it hurts when I press on it, and makes me feel even more queesy.
It's pretty ironic that tyhis is happening now after I had told, to everyone I talk about the future to, that I don't expect to live past 18 or 19.
I suppose I should admit to a few things, I abuse myself horribly. There are scars on my les, tough my skin heals well and so you can hardly see any of them, I haven't been eating properly, whenever I see food that I can't have I'm hungry, but as soon as I get it I feel sick on my stomach. I eat what is probably unhealthy amounts of ramen, there's too much sodium in that, or so my friend says. The majority f my time offline is spent streaching and exersizing, though I neglect to take my iron pills, and so I am exausted too quickly for it to do any good. Also, the lack of iron gets to me when I'm at school or almost anywhere, unless I constantly am on my toes my mind wanders off and I don't know what I'm doing or saying, I was almost hit by a car for that very reason.
I feel so unsafe now I just want to stay home and have my health dealt with for me. I don't know what's good for me, and if I do, then I'm being worse to myself for not handeling it.
I want to stay away, I'm scared I'll hurt myself again, I always run into things or people, or walk into trouble without thinking. It really is the one thing that truely scares me.
I don't want to get sick, I don't want this unknown lump in my back, I don't want blood work or tests, I was to be alone. To not see anyone, to just have everything gone.
Please don't take offense to that anyone, if it was possible and could happen, which it won't, I would still keep in touch with you all.
So, I just figured, incase I continue to get worse, that I would let you all know so you wouldn't be too shocked.
This has been going on for almost two years now, I've ignored it and it only got worse, so, if need be, I'm prepared to get whatever I need to have done about my healh issues.
I've not said anything for too long, I need to tell people, just in case.
Lately, my health has been deteriorating, reather it's from my abuse or just a disease, my body is going all the wrong ways.
I've been nauseous for daus, I have a slight fever (I NEVER have a fever) There's an unexplained lump in my lower back, and it's not a stresss knot, it hurts when I press on it, and makes me feel even more queesy.
It's pretty ironic that tyhis is happening now after I had told, to everyone I talk about the future to, that I don't expect to live past 18 or 19.
I suppose I should admit to a few things, I abuse myself horribly. There are scars on my les, tough my skin heals well and so you can hardly see any of them, I haven't been eating properly, whenever I see food that I can't have I'm hungry, but as soon as I get it I feel sick on my stomach. I eat what is probably unhealthy amounts of ramen, there's too much sodium in that, or so my friend says. The majority f my time offline is spent streaching and exersizing, though I neglect to take my iron pills, and so I am exausted too quickly for it to do any good. Also, the lack of iron gets to me when I'm at school or almost anywhere, unless I constantly am on my toes my mind wanders off and I don't know what I'm doing or saying, I was almost hit by a car for that very reason.
I feel so unsafe now I just want to stay home and have my health dealt with for me. I don't know what's good for me, and if I do, then I'm being worse to myself for not handeling it.
I want to stay away, I'm scared I'll hurt myself again, I always run into things or people, or walk into trouble without thinking. It really is the one thing that truely scares me.
I don't want to get sick, I don't want this unknown lump in my back, I don't want blood work or tests, I was to be alone. To not see anyone, to just have everything gone.
Please don't take offense to that anyone, if it was possible and could happen, which it won't, I would still keep in touch with you all.
So, I just figured, incase I continue to get worse, that I would let you all know so you wouldn't be too shocked.
This has been going on for almost two years now, I've ignored it and it only got worse, so, if need be, I'm prepared to get whatever I need to have done about my healh issues.