Budo
I went to go and see Sith tonight, it was good, not amazing, but solid. Of course there are quibbles, as I knew there would be, but that doesn't matter. I feel a little sad for now this lack of new star wars movies. The end of an era right?
It got me thinking a little and I thought about it more when I read Matt's live journal how much I love the Way. The feeling of balance that I get when I embrace the stillness and let myself be calm is the most fulfilling thing I've ever experienced. It is a hard path to tread because it requires more from you than you'd originally think, a lot more. I find myself gettign anxious to make myself calm or frustrated that I can't feel that way (worse sometimes that I don't want to). It feels good to be angry and sad, in this weird way, it reaffirms that you're alive. I'm not sure what to do with this, I hope I can find someone to help me along my way, but like the old proverb says, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears".
I've fallen off on my training too, and I'm disappointed in myself for that, which is a reason I'm looking forward to beign back in Urbana where I can train hardcore again. I haven't done that for a long time. A lot of things I'm missing about being back there, but I'm still not in any hurry to leave here.
London is absolutely amazing for reasons I can't describe. It doesn't feel much like home, though I didn't expect it would being that I've only been here for a short time. I hope I can get out to the countryside soon, I know after this week that I could live in a city adn get along, but I also know that I need to be able to get away to the greener lands.
I thought about something that Wagner said too, he said that one of hte greatest joys that you can have is to have lunch with dear friends. I'm pretty sure that's right. While I've loved this little adventure of mine, I also know that I would give a great deal to have friends here like Megan or B or Matt or something. I would like that.
An important lesson for everyone, you can have an amazing experience and be aggragately happy and yet still be sad at points.
ka
It got me thinking a little and I thought about it more when I read Matt's live journal how much I love the Way. The feeling of balance that I get when I embrace the stillness and let myself be calm is the most fulfilling thing I've ever experienced. It is a hard path to tread because it requires more from you than you'd originally think, a lot more. I find myself gettign anxious to make myself calm or frustrated that I can't feel that way (worse sometimes that I don't want to). It feels good to be angry and sad, in this weird way, it reaffirms that you're alive. I'm not sure what to do with this, I hope I can find someone to help me along my way, but like the old proverb says, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears".
I've fallen off on my training too, and I'm disappointed in myself for that, which is a reason I'm looking forward to beign back in Urbana where I can train hardcore again. I haven't done that for a long time. A lot of things I'm missing about being back there, but I'm still not in any hurry to leave here.
London is absolutely amazing for reasons I can't describe. It doesn't feel much like home, though I didn't expect it would being that I've only been here for a short time. I hope I can get out to the countryside soon, I know after this week that I could live in a city adn get along, but I also know that I need to be able to get away to the greener lands.
I thought about something that Wagner said too, he said that one of hte greatest joys that you can have is to have lunch with dear friends. I'm pretty sure that's right. While I've loved this little adventure of mine, I also know that I would give a great deal to have friends here like Megan or B or Matt or something. I would like that.
An important lesson for everyone, you can have an amazing experience and be aggragately happy and yet still be sad at points.
ka