i grew up wishing on a star, you dont think ill get to far.
it seems that i never have anything to write about, my life really hasnt been to exciting. i all ever do is work now. thats all my life is. next week im working 5 days. wow a whole 2 days off. yeh im really sad, that i never get to do anything anymore. im not use to having so much responsibility. this whole work thing blows. im missing SO much. i have no life on Friday nights. i have to work 5 - 11. what the hell. i'll never get to see another local concert again! :( im missing Critical Limit this friday and im missing Zeller on the 25th. I NEVER MISS A ZELLER SHOW!! im pathetic. i cry over this stuff. i have no life. i miss seeing my friends. i dont even care about the money! i care bout my friends.
i dont have time for friends, family, school, realizing what i really want!
the more i keep thinking bout things, the more i get upset.
im trying so hard to lose weight, its not working. and im so depressed over it. im barely eating again. bleh. i'll never learn to love myself.
my mind hurts from thinking so much,
do i really this kid, or what? i dont even know. i think i do, but i couldnt tell ya. ah whatever
i've quit going to therapy. its honestly not doing me any good. why the hell should i see someone whos going to tell that im overwieght and thats why i dont have a boyfriend., youre my therapist, i thought you were suppose to raise my self esteem, not bring it down. that comment wont ever leave me, i just keep thinking bout it, whenever i eat. it makes me so sick, that i dont even want to touch food ever again.
for the first time in awhile all i wanna do is get really fucked up, and try to forget all these bad things. i dont care what i take, i dont care if it kills me, i honestly dont, im just SO fed up with everything.
my first pay check is gonna be gone in no time flat.
* buying a ticket for Tonyas bennifit dinner ( $25)
* buying Quinn a early birthday present ( $20 )
* new earrings 8g ( $ 12 - $ 15 each )
thats $75 or more.
im not even sure if i get paid that much this week. i only worked 20 hours, minus $20 for my uniform.
=(
i dont have time for friends, family, school, realizing what i really want!
the more i keep thinking bout things, the more i get upset.
im trying so hard to lose weight, its not working. and im so depressed over it. im barely eating again. bleh. i'll never learn to love myself.
my mind hurts from thinking so much,
do i really this kid, or what? i dont even know. i think i do, but i couldnt tell ya. ah whatever
i've quit going to therapy. its honestly not doing me any good. why the hell should i see someone whos going to tell that im overwieght and thats why i dont have a boyfriend., youre my therapist, i thought you were suppose to raise my self esteem, not bring it down. that comment wont ever leave me, i just keep thinking bout it, whenever i eat. it makes me so sick, that i dont even want to touch food ever again.
for the first time in awhile all i wanna do is get really fucked up, and try to forget all these bad things. i dont care what i take, i dont care if it kills me, i honestly dont, im just SO fed up with everything.
my first pay check is gonna be gone in no time flat.
* buying a ticket for Tonyas bennifit dinner ( $25)
* buying Quinn a early birthday present ( $20 )
* new earrings 8g ( $ 12 - $ 15 each )
thats $75 or more.
im not even sure if i get paid that much this week. i only worked 20 hours, minus $20 for my uniform.
=(