when the curious girl realizes she is under glass
its 37 degrees outside, im at home and at this moment i am officially approaching death.
i have currently on my computer a number of 58 episodes of sex & the city, 28 of nip/ tuck, 18 of prison break and innumerous number of movies. is that what all of my summer is going to be? better not. because ive got also 900 pages of introduction to marketing to read, and some more easy lectures such as 7 books leftovers from last year.
i should find the balls to give a call to one of my best friends who turns out to be pregnant and she is only 18. but thats a long story on its own.
i just had the balls to write an email to my ex-ex-italian-ex (=The Ratman). was tough but i made it. didnt say anything. necessary. but cmon its a first step to something.
i dont have the balls to write to my korean-somewhere-boyfriend (K-boy). i know i would love to talk to him and i dunno. just talk. i miss him. but can do nothing bout it. there is 5000 miles in between. plus other things (read: =fucks) ive done in the meantime.
i re-started correspondence with Thomas though. my wannabe-future-husband, or better me-wannabe-his-wife, and us starring as the wannabe-stoners-couple-par-excellance. we would have lived in some attic on roofs of a'dam smoking pot and giggling and fucking all day long. oh wait. bad plan, already had that somewhere along the way, not a good plan, no way.
i already wrote to B-guy you know that. no answer whatsoever.
but the other asshole par excellance, The Fungusman, did have the deceincy to get back in touch with me. nice of him, but still he remains an asshole.
and lastly, a couple of days befor i left, i heard a striking news. J-apa broke up with the 3-year-lasted girlfriend, and then has moved to france to build up a house there and live. forever. although the house is going to be on the property of his parents so i honestly believe thats his settling solution. but still.
he must come back. he is my only hope.
otherwise.
i lose hope.
in mankind.
im not depressed. im just that innerly bored that in this momemnt i would prefered to be depressed and feel something rather than feel empty like a cereal bowl.
i know what im going to do. put on some hot makeup, wear a pinky floreal marylin dress, make my blonde curls come true, drink some fine red wine and go out. with random acquaintances. whatever. i dont care. the search for quality is gone. today on price is superficial.
and purely artificial.
i have currently on my computer a number of 58 episodes of sex & the city, 28 of nip/ tuck, 18 of prison break and innumerous number of movies. is that what all of my summer is going to be? better not. because ive got also 900 pages of introduction to marketing to read, and some more easy lectures such as 7 books leftovers from last year.
i should find the balls to give a call to one of my best friends who turns out to be pregnant and she is only 18. but thats a long story on its own.
i just had the balls to write an email to my ex-ex-italian-ex (=The Ratman). was tough but i made it. didnt say anything. necessary. but cmon its a first step to something.
i dont have the balls to write to my korean-somewhere-boyfriend (K-boy). i know i would love to talk to him and i dunno. just talk. i miss him. but can do nothing bout it. there is 5000 miles in between. plus other things (read: =fucks) ive done in the meantime.
i re-started correspondence with Thomas though. my wannabe-future-husband, or better me-wannabe-his-wife, and us starring as the wannabe-stoners-couple-par-excellance. we would have lived in some attic on roofs of a'dam smoking pot and giggling and fucking all day long. oh wait. bad plan, already had that somewhere along the way, not a good plan, no way.
i already wrote to B-guy you know that. no answer whatsoever.
but the other asshole par excellance, The Fungusman, did have the deceincy to get back in touch with me. nice of him, but still he remains an asshole.
and lastly, a couple of days befor i left, i heard a striking news. J-apa broke up with the 3-year-lasted girlfriend, and then has moved to france to build up a house there and live. forever. although the house is going to be on the property of his parents so i honestly believe thats his settling solution. but still.
he must come back. he is my only hope.
otherwise.
i lose hope.
in mankind.
im not depressed. im just that innerly bored that in this momemnt i would prefered to be depressed and feel something rather than feel empty like a cereal bowl.
i know what im going to do. put on some hot makeup, wear a pinky floreal marylin dress, make my blonde curls come true, drink some fine red wine and go out. with random acquaintances. whatever. i dont care. the search for quality is gone. today on price is superficial.
and purely artificial.