In The Cage - Entry 525 (x-posting this one)
"The Sunlight Through The Flags"
"It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow..
I can't believe that I stayed till today..
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow..
There's nothing here in this soul left to say..
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow..
God knows we tried to find an easier way..
Yeah, you and I will be a tough act to follow..
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise.."
Those lyrics should look familiar. I have used them recently. I knew they meant something to me personally, but couldn't decide whether or not it was Cora or Las Vegas. I was angry when I used them originally and was leaning towards Cora. Fact is, it's how I feel about Las Vegas.
Cora and I moved here in May of 2005. With all the best intentions.
It's almost agonizing to try and rehash all of it, so I'll cut to the chase.
I'm moving back home. Everyone that needs to know (besides work) knows.
I am going to slap 4 new tires on the Paseo, get it ready to rock, set my GPS and roll out the first week of November.
Staying with Tony until I get a place with a roomie, of which there are a lot of options already.
My plans for work involve a solid job most likely in restaurant management in a solid place where I can work hard and grow again. If I have to take something else in the meantime, so be it. But NOW sitting still and settling is not an option.
I plan to have the Raiders back together in time for a 20 year anniversary team. February 2010 would be 20 years since I captained the first team. My right hand defenseman Robert Walter Greene has already accepted one of the assistant captaincies.
I plan to drop some weight and get my tone back. I was never skinny, but I looked better than this. And I should look better than this. Already have buddy pals Tony and Steve Lesslie on the hook to make that happen.
I plan to pay off the car in a few months and get another convertible. This car is my buddy right now and I love what it represents, but we all know that I belong in a convertible. Spring. I bring sexy back.
I plan to cut the shit with all the booze. I want to feel what a hangover feels like again. I'm not interested in drinking myself to death. I want to go out with friends and eat good food and not lock myself in somewhere because I have been drinking and don't want to drive anywhere.
I plan to tailgate at Gillette. I plan to see concerts and stay at the beach. I plan to spend time with each and every one of the dozens and dozens of people I missed at the Facebook Faceoff and I plan to not hide the accent I am proud screams New England and not New York.
I plan to see mom again, and enjoy our time together. My grandmother. Our nights at the Lo-Kai, and I plan to take some of the pressure off of her. I plan to LIVE again.
I'm taking my hockey stick, gloves and roller blades, grabbing my Michael Myers doll and my Xbox 360, and I am driving. Not just physically across the country. I am driving in my mind. I wasted enough fucking time to recognize my mistakes.
I'll miss my Vegas pals. They'll be gone from here soon enough too.
I'm not going to be the last man standing. And I ain't giving up quite yet, I've got too much to lose.
Short entry. Do I really need to say anything else?
"It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow..
I can't believe that I stayed till today..
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow..
There's nothing here in this soul left to say..
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow..
God knows we tried to find an easier way..
Yeah, you and I will be a tough act to follow..
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise.."
Those lyrics should look familiar. I have used them recently. I knew they meant something to me personally, but couldn't decide whether or not it was Cora or Las Vegas. I was angry when I used them originally and was leaning towards Cora. Fact is, it's how I feel about Las Vegas.
Cora and I moved here in May of 2005. With all the best intentions.
It's almost agonizing to try and rehash all of it, so I'll cut to the chase.
I'm moving back home. Everyone that needs to know (besides work) knows.
I am going to slap 4 new tires on the Paseo, get it ready to rock, set my GPS and roll out the first week of November.
Staying with Tony until I get a place with a roomie, of which there are a lot of options already.
My plans for work involve a solid job most likely in restaurant management in a solid place where I can work hard and grow again. If I have to take something else in the meantime, so be it. But NOW sitting still and settling is not an option.
I plan to have the Raiders back together in time for a 20 year anniversary team. February 2010 would be 20 years since I captained the first team. My right hand defenseman Robert Walter Greene has already accepted one of the assistant captaincies.
I plan to drop some weight and get my tone back. I was never skinny, but I looked better than this. And I should look better than this. Already have buddy pals Tony and Steve Lesslie on the hook to make that happen.
I plan to pay off the car in a few months and get another convertible. This car is my buddy right now and I love what it represents, but we all know that I belong in a convertible. Spring. I bring sexy back.
I plan to cut the shit with all the booze. I want to feel what a hangover feels like again. I'm not interested in drinking myself to death. I want to go out with friends and eat good food and not lock myself in somewhere because I have been drinking and don't want to drive anywhere.
I plan to tailgate at Gillette. I plan to see concerts and stay at the beach. I plan to spend time with each and every one of the dozens and dozens of people I missed at the Facebook Faceoff and I plan to not hide the accent I am proud screams New England and not New York.
I plan to see mom again, and enjoy our time together. My grandmother. Our nights at the Lo-Kai, and I plan to take some of the pressure off of her. I plan to LIVE again.
I'm taking my hockey stick, gloves and roller blades, grabbing my Michael Myers doll and my Xbox 360, and I am driving. Not just physically across the country. I am driving in my mind. I wasted enough fucking time to recognize my mistakes.
I'll miss my Vegas pals. They'll be gone from here soon enough too.
I'm not going to be the last man standing. And I ain't giving up quite yet, I've got too much to lose.
Short entry. Do I really need to say anything else?