In The Cage - June 12, 2009 - 'Give Me Something To Trust'
"Give Me Something To Trust"
"Take me as I am, I'm not broken..
Pieces of my life are not tokens..
I want to let you know, I'm still learning..
How to love again, and stop hurting..."
I was pretty loaded in that last entry I guess, because the end got away from me with misspelled words, bad grammar etc.. I only use spellcheck when it's thrust upon me during writing, usually a quick proofread is enough.. not the other night apparently..
Not cross posting my entries anymore either.. it's a pain in the ass, no one besides a chosen few read, it's an ultra rare occasion to get a comment or an email about my entries, and the friends and family that I have had for 10 years that read, have probably always gone to my website. This will be the last one I post to LiveJournal or Facebook.
Things can get nasty in my journal.. cross posting the entries also leaves them wide open to a younger generation of kids that I don't want reading.. when I was 15, 16, 17 I was online (before the internet) saying some of the same things I do now.. it was okay then, being 17 and saying FUCK, but the meaning has changed.
Then, when I used the word fuck, it was for sensationalism mostly, or I would way overuse it because, yeah.. I was a kid. NOW, when I use it, there is almost always raw emotion behind it.. and me being that mad or emotional about something today is something I don't feel the need to expose to a younger crowd. Now I am pretty sure my 13 year old cousin doesn't USE that word, but she knows it's a cuss word.
These entries almost glorify these words, not to mention all the things I say about people I don't like.
SO.. no more cross posting. No more LJ, no more FB. (Cage entries after tonight.)
I don't know when it happened, but I suddenly got sick of hanging aroud here all the time, home in my apartment. Friends here, back home, everyone is like.. 'Hey Chad, hope you aren't home this weekend, what are you doing?'
The answer for over a year has basically been, 'Broke.' 'Home.'
I covered this randomly in that all over the place last entry, but fact is, when me and Berryman went out last Sunday to Santana and then off to the World Series of Poker, it just reminded me.. 'HEY ASS -- people pay money just to come here for a few days a year -- GO OUT'.
So I am going to try to a lot more often.. and by the way, for the 2 people that read this and don't know, I have been working 7 days a week since February 23rd. Some of my shifts at Domino's are VERY short, (3 hours) but I still have to be somewhere every day. It's fine, it's my choice, but it isn't always convenient when every major sporting event that I care about (aside from NFL and weekend baseball) starts at 5PM here, right when I start work.
TONIGHT for example.. game SEVEN. Wings vs Pens for the cup. Starts an hour after I do. I had the opportunity to take it off, but I make a lot of money really fast on Fridays. And NO ONE in my store watches hockey. So my evil plan is to make some cabbage, avoid the radio, pray no one else in the desert that I deliver to is watching, DVR it, go home and watch it. Is that too much to ask? To make some cake and watch game 7 too? Stay tuned.
I had this weird thought earlier.. I haven't picked up a hockey stick since my last shot during my last shift of my last game in hockey 4 years ago. I snapped my blade on my stick on that last shot because my adrenaline was out of control.. and I haven't replaced the blade. I wonder what kind of accuracy and velocity I could put on a slapshot right now with my very first shot. From the left wing, my slapshot was ridiculously accurate under the bar.. could I come close today? I'm gonna try it soon.. whatever it takes.
I've talked enough about facebook recently, and now I have decided to do something about it. I've been very cryptic (as usual) on my page and I posted a status update that read, 'NINE NINETEEN NINE'.
That was fun, as a lot of people were trying to figure out what the hell it meant.. and hours went by, and then I posted this pic: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/photo.php?pid=2679157&id=735102441&ref=mf
Oh yeah if you are one of the three people left on the planet that doesn't have a Facebook account, sorry. No soup for you. HOWEVER..
It's a photo of me holding up a hand written sign revealing NINE NINETEEN NINE as a DATE, with the caption, 'What happens in Vegas..' with Vegas having a big X through it, replaced with 'Lowell', and the caption, 'What happens in Vegas, will take place near Lowell.'
That was fun too. :D
HERE is the scoop.. I haven't been home since September, 2007. Since then, that whole Facebook thing has been out of control.. as I have said, I am around 250 buddy pals. And our entire network must be in the thousands.. so what are we going to do, wait until we are all in out 80s to hang out again?
No. If no one is gonna throw a party back home, so we can all see each other again after all these years, fuck it. I will do it from Vegas.
My plan is to book a hall, invite everyone I have ever met to go to this party, hang out for a few hours, take 96 million pics, tell 500 million stories, and everyone goes home with awesome memories of a GREAT time.
I wasn't homecoming king, class president or anyone more than the guy who ran the neighborhood wrestling group and organized kickball. But I have incredible memories of growing up in Lowell, and I miss all of those people. And as we got older, it seems as though all the sterotypes and ages are molding together. I was in section 8-5 of the 1985 class at the Daley school in 8th grade. Back then, add two grades in either direction, and no on eknew each other..
In high school, we all blended in a little better.. as we got older, we all worked together, brothers and sister friends knew each other, say what you want, the lines got less and less blurry.. Highland kids and Centreville kids meet, Belvidere and the Acre.. and at the Voke, Lowell, Tyngsboro etc..
So here we all are, on Facebook.. so lets DO something.
And we will. I am booking that hall, I will make it official, and we are going to have a lot of fun. And as far as I am concerned, if it DOESN'T work out? I am still going to spend time with friends I care about and haven't seen in years and years.
I came home 2 years ago and threw a party at the Lowell Brewery. I drew 80 people with NO help from Facebook and a lot of disappointing no-shows.
I'm not bragging, this isn't about me.. I want to bring us all back together because I think it will be a lot of fun for EVERYONE.
"Take me as I am, I'm not broken..
Pieces of my life are not tokens..
I want to let you know, I'm still learning..
How to love again, and stop hurting..."
I was pretty loaded in that last entry I guess, because the end got away from me with misspelled words, bad grammar etc.. I only use spellcheck when it's thrust upon me during writing, usually a quick proofread is enough.. not the other night apparently..
Not cross posting my entries anymore either.. it's a pain in the ass, no one besides a chosen few read, it's an ultra rare occasion to get a comment or an email about my entries, and the friends and family that I have had for 10 years that read, have probably always gone to my website. This will be the last one I post to LiveJournal or Facebook.
Things can get nasty in my journal.. cross posting the entries also leaves them wide open to a younger generation of kids that I don't want reading.. when I was 15, 16, 17 I was online (before the internet) saying some of the same things I do now.. it was okay then, being 17 and saying FUCK, but the meaning has changed.
Then, when I used the word fuck, it was for sensationalism mostly, or I would way overuse it because, yeah.. I was a kid. NOW, when I use it, there is almost always raw emotion behind it.. and me being that mad or emotional about something today is something I don't feel the need to expose to a younger crowd. Now I am pretty sure my 13 year old cousin doesn't USE that word, but she knows it's a cuss word.
These entries almost glorify these words, not to mention all the things I say about people I don't like.
SO.. no more cross posting. No more LJ, no more FB. (Cage entries after tonight.)
I don't know when it happened, but I suddenly got sick of hanging aroud here all the time, home in my apartment. Friends here, back home, everyone is like.. 'Hey Chad, hope you aren't home this weekend, what are you doing?'
The answer for over a year has basically been, 'Broke.' 'Home.'
I covered this randomly in that all over the place last entry, but fact is, when me and Berryman went out last Sunday to Santana and then off to the World Series of Poker, it just reminded me.. 'HEY ASS -- people pay money just to come here for a few days a year -- GO OUT'.
So I am going to try to a lot more often.. and by the way, for the 2 people that read this and don't know, I have been working 7 days a week since February 23rd. Some of my shifts at Domino's are VERY short, (3 hours) but I still have to be somewhere every day. It's fine, it's my choice, but it isn't always convenient when every major sporting event that I care about (aside from NFL and weekend baseball) starts at 5PM here, right when I start work.
TONIGHT for example.. game SEVEN. Wings vs Pens for the cup. Starts an hour after I do. I had the opportunity to take it off, but I make a lot of money really fast on Fridays. And NO ONE in my store watches hockey. So my evil plan is to make some cabbage, avoid the radio, pray no one else in the desert that I deliver to is watching, DVR it, go home and watch it. Is that too much to ask? To make some cake and watch game 7 too? Stay tuned.
I had this weird thought earlier.. I haven't picked up a hockey stick since my last shot during my last shift of my last game in hockey 4 years ago. I snapped my blade on my stick on that last shot because my adrenaline was out of control.. and I haven't replaced the blade. I wonder what kind of accuracy and velocity I could put on a slapshot right now with my very first shot. From the left wing, my slapshot was ridiculously accurate under the bar.. could I come close today? I'm gonna try it soon.. whatever it takes.
I've talked enough about facebook recently, and now I have decided to do something about it. I've been very cryptic (as usual) on my page and I posted a status update that read, 'NINE NINETEEN NINE'.
That was fun, as a lot of people were trying to figure out what the hell it meant.. and hours went by, and then I posted this pic: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/photo.php?pid=2679157&id=735102441&ref=mf
Oh yeah if you are one of the three people left on the planet that doesn't have a Facebook account, sorry. No soup for you. HOWEVER..
It's a photo of me holding up a hand written sign revealing NINE NINETEEN NINE as a DATE, with the caption, 'What happens in Vegas..' with Vegas having a big X through it, replaced with 'Lowell', and the caption, 'What happens in Vegas, will take place near Lowell.'
That was fun too. :D
HERE is the scoop.. I haven't been home since September, 2007. Since then, that whole Facebook thing has been out of control.. as I have said, I am around 250 buddy pals. And our entire network must be in the thousands.. so what are we going to do, wait until we are all in out 80s to hang out again?
No. If no one is gonna throw a party back home, so we can all see each other again after all these years, fuck it. I will do it from Vegas.
My plan is to book a hall, invite everyone I have ever met to go to this party, hang out for a few hours, take 96 million pics, tell 500 million stories, and everyone goes home with awesome memories of a GREAT time.
I wasn't homecoming king, class president or anyone more than the guy who ran the neighborhood wrestling group and organized kickball. But I have incredible memories of growing up in Lowell, and I miss all of those people. And as we got older, it seems as though all the sterotypes and ages are molding together. I was in section 8-5 of the 1985 class at the Daley school in 8th grade. Back then, add two grades in either direction, and no on eknew each other..
In high school, we all blended in a little better.. as we got older, we all worked together, brothers and sister friends knew each other, say what you want, the lines got less and less blurry.. Highland kids and Centreville kids meet, Belvidere and the Acre.. and at the Voke, Lowell, Tyngsboro etc..
So here we all are, on Facebook.. so lets DO something.
And we will. I am booking that hall, I will make it official, and we are going to have a lot of fun. And as far as I am concerned, if it DOESN'T work out? I am still going to spend time with friends I care about and haven't seen in years and years.
I came home 2 years ago and threw a party at the Lowell Brewery. I drew 80 people with NO help from Facebook and a lot of disappointing no-shows.
I'm not bragging, this isn't about me.. I want to bring us all back together because I think it will be a lot of fun for EVERYONE.