RotM/TBS - 2.1.B.3.something. I don't know. Good Old Fashioned Loverboy.
It's Six O'Clock. Do You Know Where Your Time Lord Is?
(Inspired by and dedicated to my upstairs neighbors who (we think) wanted to fit some in (pun intended) before the Super Bowl party.)
The Doctor was finishing up a series of completely pointless upgrades to the kitchen. The second kitchen. No, the third. The one with the gas range. Maybe. He certainly hoped it was the one with the gas range, because if it wasn't the next few days would be very awkward and smelly. He sniffed. Definitely the gas range. Fantastic.
That was when Donna arrived. The Doctor didn't know she had arrived, because his head and a good bit of his torso were still in the oven, but then she announced herself. "Why are you in the kitchen?"
Okay, more of an annoyed-voice question than an announcement, but both worked for him. "I'm upgrading the oven."
Silence. The Doctor smiled to himself - or the top of the oven, depending on how you prefer to think of things - at the thought of what was going through Donna's mind. He imagined all the retorts she was running through, and he could picture the look on her face as she decided on the best one.
"We don't use the oven."
That was the best one? Hm.
"Maybe we should!"
He heard Donna's laugh, muffled a little. And then she sat on him.
Unexpected, but not entirely unpleasant.
"Donna?"
"Yes, love?"
"Are you naked?"
She put her hands to his hips and squeezed a little. "How can you tell that? You're wearing pants, and your head is in an oven."
"And part of my torso."
"Yes, and part of your torso."
Silence. Then he remembered that she'd asked him a question. "Oh, I can just tell."
"Really?"
The Doctor tried to nod, but it only caused his head to knock against the top of the oven. "Yes."
"How?"
"Time Lord thing."
"Oh really?" She pinched his hips and he squirmed a little. "Time Lord thing? Well, Mr. Time Lord, you need to see to your wife."
"I agree, I do. But it's six o'clock." More silence. Enough that the Doctor wasn't sure Donna was still conscious. "Donna?"
"What does it being six o'clock have anything to do with it?"
"Six o'clock is an odd time for sex."
Normally that would have caused Donna to stalk angrily (and nakedly) from the room - a fact that the Doctor hadn't seemed to pick up on yet - but for some reason, tonight she stayed where she was. Her hands disappeared, and he imagined she had just crossed them over her chest. Her naked chest. Her naked, well-endowed chest.
"Donna?"
"Mmhmm?"
"It's not six o'clock somewhere."
Donna's hands moved back down again. "I think that's the smartest thing you've ever said."
She was right.
Word Count: 418