I don't know how long I can keep on going crazy all the time
It seems that the burnout that I've been expecting lately is beginning to set in. The good thing (if you can call it a good thing) about having experienced massive burnout in the past is that I have become quite good at recognizing the symptoms, which in turn has made me better at reacting to them before they worsen. I am not on the road to migraines and insomnia [yet], but I have reached that point where a change is going to have to happen sometime soon.
I go through stages. I start something new, and it is simultaneously exciting and nerve-wrackingly stressful. Then for a while it's just extremely stressful. But that eventually subsides, and I settle into a comfort zone, where I'm confident in everything I do. Fortunately, this is the longest stage, because otherwise this cycle just wouldn't be worth the effort of reliving. Over time, though, little things start to creep in, usually the result of overworking and the leveling out of the learning curve. I'm the kind of person that thrives on learning and growing, so when I hit a plateau, I lose that sense of excitement and my moods tend to dive. Eventually I become resentful, and it even begins to show. This is when I acknowledge the approach of burnout. My mood steadily worsens for a while, and if I continue to ignore it, that's when I get myself into trouble. Fortunately I have been getting better about recognizing and accepting the warning signs. I start thinking about change. Finally, I hit a point where I know the change needs to take place.
This is the point I hit last night. I'm not in a bad place right now, but I can't stay here either. I'm bored and I'm burning out. Sure, I've got so much on my plate that I can't find enough time to address them, so I'm not bored as in twiddling my thumbs all day--but I'm getting very little out of all of it. I called my friend and mentor to discuss the circumstances with him, and he agreed that it was time to make a move, and gave me advice on how to approach it. It got the wheels turning in my head. Unable to sleep, I sat down with a piece of paper the the middle of the night and began planning out my next steps.
Obviously I'm not talking about drastic, overnight moves. I'm undecided on a specific path I want to take from here, just that I need to find one and start down it. But there are preliminary steps that need to be taken, regardless of the final decision. Mostly I just need to get the ball rolling.
This brings me to the stage I am now entering -- a stage of seeming indifference. Or I guess "calm" would be a better term for it. There's something about making a huge decision like that that causes a person to look at things differently. I can handle all that I'm going through now because I know that, before long, I will no longer be going through it. The decision to move on has been made. The time in between making that decision and the point where the move is made is just a layover period. Might as well put on the headphones, kick back, and relax... and wait patiently for my next flight to board.
I go through stages. I start something new, and it is simultaneously exciting and nerve-wrackingly stressful. Then for a while it's just extremely stressful. But that eventually subsides, and I settle into a comfort zone, where I'm confident in everything I do. Fortunately, this is the longest stage, because otherwise this cycle just wouldn't be worth the effort of reliving. Over time, though, little things start to creep in, usually the result of overworking and the leveling out of the learning curve. I'm the kind of person that thrives on learning and growing, so when I hit a plateau, I lose that sense of excitement and my moods tend to dive. Eventually I become resentful, and it even begins to show. This is when I acknowledge the approach of burnout. My mood steadily worsens for a while, and if I continue to ignore it, that's when I get myself into trouble. Fortunately I have been getting better about recognizing and accepting the warning signs. I start thinking about change. Finally, I hit a point where I know the change needs to take place.
This is the point I hit last night. I'm not in a bad place right now, but I can't stay here either. I'm bored and I'm burning out. Sure, I've got so much on my plate that I can't find enough time to address them, so I'm not bored as in twiddling my thumbs all day--but I'm getting very little out of all of it. I called my friend and mentor to discuss the circumstances with him, and he agreed that it was time to make a move, and gave me advice on how to approach it. It got the wheels turning in my head. Unable to sleep, I sat down with a piece of paper the the middle of the night and began planning out my next steps.
Obviously I'm not talking about drastic, overnight moves. I'm undecided on a specific path I want to take from here, just that I need to find one and start down it. But there are preliminary steps that need to be taken, regardless of the final decision. Mostly I just need to get the ball rolling.
This brings me to the stage I am now entering -- a stage of seeming indifference. Or I guess "calm" would be a better term for it. There's something about making a huge decision like that that causes a person to look at things differently. I can handle all that I'm going through now because I know that, before long, I will no longer be going through it. The decision to move on has been made. The time in between making that decision and the point where the move is made is just a layover period. Might as well put on the headphones, kick back, and relax... and wait patiently for my next flight to board.