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Philippines (or the Republic of the Philippines) > Government:
The Philippine government can be defined as the most deviant of all government systems around the world. Getting yourself involved in the government means that you need money, guns, artillery and a bad-ass militia. The country was once run by a very good and famous queen for 20 years: Her Royal Highness Imelda Marcos and her husband-of-convenience which she decided to blame all of the problems to, Ferdinand. Just before the end of of the conjugal monarchy, the general population became infected with a rare strain of virus that makes its victims into mindless evangelists. They brought down the 20-year Marcos empire and brought forth a New Republic ruled by another Queen who basically had the same idea as Imelda. This is the start of the Great Theocratic Imperial Empire of God
It was like the Star Wars Trilogy, the only difference is that Corazon Aquino had an IQ lower than that of an autistic kid - she can speak fluent French though. The masses were so disappointed because the new queen was not a Jedi and had no lightsaber. To appease the masses, the President of the New Republic changed all the names of the roads and the airport. Her triumph was short-lived because the majority of the motorists got lost and weren't able to report for work for one year, causing the stock market crash of 1986. "Damn, where the fuck is Buendia? I've been going around in circles in Gil Puyat Ave. and still can't find Buendia nigga!", said one black motorist.
The greatest aviation tragedy also happened during her reign. The planes kept circling 'til they ran out of fuel and crashed because the Manila International Airport wasn't there. "It's like the fuckin' Bermuda Triangle, bitch!", said one bruha survivor. It turned out that she changed the name of the airport to Ninoy Aquino International Airport in honor of her worthless, good-for-nothing Communist husband as soon as she sat her ass in the palace throne for the very first time.
Aside from the name change fiasco, her other accomplishments were putting her husband's sorry ass in the 500 peso bill and spawning an evil daughter who single handedly caused the downfall of the feminist movement by being a filthy whore, and the slow death of the Philippine Entertainment Industry. Her daughter also caused the deaths of countless professional basketball players and actors by infecting them with an unknown and illegal type of sexually transmitted disease. Some say this is where HIV comes from.
After this, the masses progressed from just plain stupid to brainwashed catholic retards. After the French-speaking president with a vagina for a brain - (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!), they elected a guy with some usefulness, Fidel V Ramos. The hardest part of his reign was to fix all the crap and bullshit the former president gave and was successful. Then they elected an ex-actor who can't control his penis and fucked the majority of the hotties in the country. And lastly a midget, The current Fuehrer or technically speaking, The Servant of God. As of the moment, the government is still in the shit hole and the incumbent president is still a midget who loves Barrack Obama.
The primary task of the Philippine Government is the fixing of the roads and highways - actually this is the only thing that the government does especially just before election. They fix roads even if they're as smooth as a baby's ass just to give the voters the impression that they're doing something really important. Given that all Filipino voters are stupid9except the 0.1% who saw that everything was a facade), they let the incumbents win in their reelection bid, mostly through vote buying.
The Philippine government can be defined as the most deviant of all government systems around the world. Getting yourself involved in the government means that you need money, guns, artillery and a bad-ass militia. The country was once run by a very good and famous queen for 20 years: Her Royal Highness Imelda Marcos and her husband-of-convenience which she decided to blame all of the problems to, Ferdinand. Just before the end of of the conjugal monarchy, the general population became infected with a rare strain of virus that makes its victims into mindless evangelists. They brought down the 20-year Marcos empire and brought forth a New Republic ruled by another Queen who basically had the same idea as Imelda. This is the start of the Great Theocratic Imperial Empire of God
It was like the Star Wars Trilogy, the only difference is that Corazon Aquino had an IQ lower than that of an autistic kid - she can speak fluent French though. The masses were so disappointed because the new queen was not a Jedi and had no lightsaber. To appease the masses, the President of the New Republic changed all the names of the roads and the airport. Her triumph was short-lived because the majority of the motorists got lost and weren't able to report for work for one year, causing the stock market crash of 1986. "Damn, where the fuck is Buendia? I've been going around in circles in Gil Puyat Ave. and still can't find Buendia nigga!", said one black motorist.
The greatest aviation tragedy also happened during her reign. The planes kept circling 'til they ran out of fuel and crashed because the Manila International Airport wasn't there. "It's like the fuckin' Bermuda Triangle, bitch!", said one bruha survivor. It turned out that she changed the name of the airport to Ninoy Aquino International Airport in honor of her worthless, good-for-nothing Communist husband as soon as she sat her ass in the palace throne for the very first time.
Aside from the name change fiasco, her other accomplishments were putting her husband's sorry ass in the 500 peso bill and spawning an evil daughter who single handedly caused the downfall of the feminist movement by being a filthy whore, and the slow death of the Philippine Entertainment Industry. Her daughter also caused the deaths of countless professional basketball players and actors by infecting them with an unknown and illegal type of sexually transmitted disease. Some say this is where HIV comes from.
After this, the masses progressed from just plain stupid to brainwashed catholic retards. After the French-speaking president with a vagina for a brain - (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!), they elected a guy with some usefulness, Fidel V Ramos. The hardest part of his reign was to fix all the crap and bullshit the former president gave and was successful. Then they elected an ex-actor who can't control his penis and fucked the majority of the hotties in the country. And lastly a midget, The current Fuehrer or technically speaking, The Servant of God. As of the moment, the government is still in the shit hole and the incumbent president is still a midget who loves Barrack Obama.
The primary task of the Philippine Government is the fixing of the roads and highways - actually this is the only thing that the government does especially just before election. They fix roads even if they're as smooth as a baby's ass just to give the voters the impression that they're doing something really important. Given that all Filipino voters are stupid9except the 0.1% who saw that everything was a facade), they let the incumbents win in their reelection bid, mostly through vote buying.