Leave Me Not (2/3)
Title: Leave Me Not
Pairing: Athrun/Kira
Rating: PG
Warnings: some blood, lots of angst
Disclaimer: Same as before, I don't own them.
Summary: When Athrun blacks out after the battle at Orb, Kira comes face to face with the realization that he may lose his best friend without ever telling him his most important secret. *Takes place during GSD*
Leave Me Not Pt.2a
Kira’s POV
I sat in the Archangel’s infirmary, keeping silent vigil over Athrun’s now slumbering form. The image of my best friend soaked in his own blood had left me badly shaken. Although the doctor said he’d be fine if he didn’t strain himself, I couldn’t prevent myself from dwelling on how close I’d just come, not once but twice, to losing him.
The memory of our near fatal confrontation during the last war rose unbidden to the surface. Even now, I could remember the sorrow and the pain of not knowing his fate. When Lacus orchestrated our reunion, my relief was profound. After the destruction of G.E.N.E.S.I.S. and Lacus’ call for a ceasefire, I’d believed I would never have to feel such excruciating pain again.
Turns out I was wrong.
The agony that replaced my astonishment when Kisaka brought Athrun to us a few days ago, inches from death, was a whole new level of suffering. The days that followed were trying, and I could do nothing but remain at his bedside and pray that he would survive, that he would be alright. When the doctor finally said he was stable, I almost burst into tears.
Even now, looking upon his sleeping features, I felt a lump rise in my throat. It was shortly after the war when I felt my feelings begin to shift. I felt as if there was something missing, an empty space reserved for the person I loved. I had thought that person to be Lacus, and yet no matter how much time we spent together I remained incomplete.
I think she understood my heart’s desires long before I did. She guided me while we enjoyed the peace our sacrifices had won us. Lacus, with her patience and gentle coxing, showed me the truth. I felt a bit embarrassed when I realized how oblivious I’d been these many years.
I was in love. And the center of my affections was none other than my best friend, Athrun Zala.
I brushed back an azure lock from his face. He’d been in this unresponsive state nearly four days, a long time for a coordinator. And a small part of me, the one that I struggled to keep repressed, feared that he might not wake this time around.
I leaned forward, lips almost brushing the shell of his ear. I could feel the sting of oncoming tears. “I love you, Athrun. Please…please come back to me,” came my choked whisper.
Athrun’s POV
Endless darkness. Thick and suffocating, wrapped around me. Where am I? What happened?
I feel as if I’m drifting through timeless space. I can see something ahead, a light. It’s drawing closer, spreading to transform the darkness.
Memories. I can see my mother softly singing a lullaby to help me sleep. I want to reach out to her, to embrace her after all these years, even if only in memory. But as I approach she grows farther and farther until soon I am running, desperately with hand outstretched when suddenly…I am on the PLANTS standing in front of her grave. I fall to my knees, tears pricking the corners of my eyes.
The scene dissolves into another and my breath catches in my throat. There sits Nicol, his fingers dancing lightly over the piano’s ebony and ivory keys as we laugh together. I recognize the melody. Rhapsody of Tranquility he’d called it, a piece he composed for the day the war finally ended. The sight ripples and I am in the hall outside his room, the pages of his sheet music strewn upon the cold floor, never to be played again. I can feel my throat constrict, as the pain of losing him bubbles to the surface once more while the memory fades.
In its place is one I know so well, Kira and me standing together beneath the blossoming trees as children. I see the undying kinship mixed with sadness in our younger faces, knowing we must part for a time. As Birdie hops from my small hands into little Kira’s cupped palms, I cannot suppress the longing I feel for simpler times, untouched by sorrows and the horrors of war.
The pictures begin to pass in a dizzying whirl, each recollection of Kira flashing by. They pause for a moment, and a wordless cry passes my lips. This memory is still too fresh, too painful to watch. I am once again staring at the monitor on the Minerva as Shinn shoots down Kira. I know that he is still alive, but the remembered agony of believing Kira dead for the third time is too much.
As tears cascade down my cheeks, I cannot help but admit…Kira is my world. I love him, more than I have ever loved any other.
Meyrin’s POV
Lacus and I rushed into the infirmary when we heard Kira call out for help. The pain in his amethyst eyes almost brought me to my knees. Never have I seen such agony reflected within a single gaze.
The machine monitoring Athrun’s vitals was beeping wildly, his pulse galloping. When I glanced at his face I was alarmed to see tears streaming, although he remained in his comatose state.
“I don’t know what’s wrong!” Kira panicked. “How do I help him?”
I watched as Lacus placed a reassuring hand on Kira’s shoulder. “Just comfort him,” she instructed gently. “Calm him.”
Kira nodded wordlessly. I couldn’t help noticing how gentle Kira was as he took Athrun’s hand in his own, brushing strands of hair from Athrun’s pale face. He spoke to Athrun soothingly, with a tenderness usually reserved for lovers.
I gave a sigh of relief as Athrun’s heartbeat began returning to normal.
Lacus tugged softly on my arm, and we silently left the room. But I couldn’t help lingering just outside the door, gazing at the two young men.
Athrun’s POV
I can hear a tender voice, soothing away the torment and grief assailing me. It is faint at first, a gentle murmur floating in the vast darkness.
It’s okay…I…Athrun, I’m soon able to make out. Still I remain enveloped in shadow; the woe of memories reawakened clings tightly to my heart.
The voice is closer now, the soothing whispers easier to decipher.
You’re safe now. I won’t let anything or anyone else hurt you.
I know that earnest voice. Kira? Why does he sound so upset when I’m right here?
Orb, the Archangel…everyone’s safe.
I can feel the tears that have been falling begin to subside at his assurances and suddenly, it comes back to me. Escaping Durandal and being shot down by Shinn. The attack on Orb, the Infinite Justice, blacking out after the Minerva’s retreat. How long have I been out?
Please come back to me, Athrun…I need you.
I want to reach out to him, to follow his voice and assure him that I could never abandon him. But I can’t find my voice. The sudden onslaught of weakness shocks me, as if my body has been pushed to its limit.
But I keep fighting towards consciousness with what little strength I can summon. He has to know, I have to see him again.
Kira…