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From notalwaysromantic.com:
Got You By The Footballs
(My girlfriend is German, and moved to the UK to study at one of the more prestigious universities. She, my friend, and I are watching the football: a German team versus an English one.)
Friend: “Come on, pass to [Player]! Pass to- NO!”
Me: “Godd*** it, [Player]!”
Girlfriend: *cackles evilly* “Yes, that’s right. Make all the wrong moves. Lose to [German team].”
Friend: *condescendingly* “Are you even interested in football?”
(She says nothing, just stares him down. He looks away, embarrassed. Later in the game…)
Girlfriend: “Yes, pass to [Player]. Pass it now. NOW! Idiot! You missed your opportunity! Wait… Yes, go! GO! Hurry up. Go faster. No, don’t let that motherf***** take it! No! Yes, son, keep going! GO! IT’S AN OPEN GOAL! SHOO- WHAT THE F***?! HOW THE F*** DID YOU MISS THAT?! IT WAS AN OPEN F***ING GOAL!”
(She starts to shout and swear in German, then gets up, leaves the room and slams the door, still swearing profusely.)
Me: “Yeah… She’s interested in football.”
Girlfriend: *from behind the door* “AND YOU CAN SHUT THE F*** UP!”
(The final score was 1-1.)
... that was pretty much what it was like when there was a match playing and me and my ex watching. *laughs*
On that note: Wir faaaaaaahren naaaahaaaaaaaaaaach Berlin, yeaaaah!!! (My club is now in the German Cup finale. YEAH.)
crossposted to Dreamwidth with
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Got You By The Footballs
(My girlfriend is German, and moved to the UK to study at one of the more prestigious universities. She, my friend, and I are watching the football: a German team versus an English one.)
Friend: “Come on, pass to [Player]! Pass to- NO!”
Me: “Godd*** it, [Player]!”
Girlfriend: *cackles evilly* “Yes, that’s right. Make all the wrong moves. Lose to [German team].”
Friend: *condescendingly* “Are you even interested in football?”
(She says nothing, just stares him down. He looks away, embarrassed. Later in the game…)
Girlfriend: “Yes, pass to [Player]. Pass it now. NOW! Idiot! You missed your opportunity! Wait… Yes, go! GO! Hurry up. Go faster. No, don’t let that motherf***** take it! No! Yes, son, keep going! GO! IT’S AN OPEN GOAL! SHOO- WHAT THE F***?! HOW THE F*** DID YOU MISS THAT?! IT WAS AN OPEN F***ING GOAL!”
(She starts to shout and swear in German, then gets up, leaves the room and slams the door, still swearing profusely.)
Me: “Yeah… She’s interested in football.”
Girlfriend: *from behind the door* “AND YOU CAN SHUT THE F*** UP!”
(The final score was 1-1.)
... that was pretty much what it was like when there was a match playing and me and my ex watching. *laughs*
On that note: Wir faaaaaaahren naaaahaaaaaaaaaaach Berlin, yeaaaah!!! (My club is now in the German Cup finale. YEAH.)
crossposted to Dreamwidth with
comments