bye

[ninabeckford]

So, mostly all of you can eff off. I'm sick of people pretending to be my friends. This game is getting old and I really don't feel like playing anymore. So please, don't call (not that you were going to) and don't try to contact me in any other way, either. I'm in a place, hiding away, and nobody can find me....haha. I've carried on long enough

Comments

Troubled

[elmvalleyfarm]

What is wrong with you? I am seriously worried about what going on in your head. I'm sorry if I having been calling lately, it's just that I haven't been feeling very well and had been over worked at the Shack. And Tuesday I went in to the Hospital with Kidney Stones and a severe infection. I just read this entry a week to late. I really need you as my friend and I hope that this journal entry is suppose to hurt only one person and not the shit load of friends that you truly have. I hope you really are in a safe place and that you haven't done anything to hurt yourself. This world can throw all kinds of crab at you, most of the time we have to be resilient. But their are times when it shit sticks to you and the only options we have is to fight back or let go. You know tons about me, and there is tons more that you don't know and 50 percent of it is about disappointing things that have happened in my life, plus the mistakes that I have made. I could of slammed the door on everyone to get away from my troubles. With that I would of had to burn bridges to good people that really helped me. People who really care. Don't do that! You have two choices to survive or not. The later leaves you with no hope of anything. I know that your stronger than that. Please call me to talk. I have never judged you now and will not later. If you don't call then get some Professional help Today. I Not Joking...I Love You! Michele

Re: Troubled

[imlovinmraz]

Nina, I don't know why we are fighting. But I can't deal with it anymore. I've said I'm sorry a million times, I've tried to reach you a million ways, but you won't return my calls, my LJs, my texts. Please talk to me. I know that for some reason you don't feel like I am your friend, but I don't know what that reason is. I hate posting this on here but since you won't talk to me, I have no other options. I feel like I have fucked things up between us because of Jeff. I have never had a relationship of any kind before and so maybe I am not good with the whole juggling thing. I know you don't like him, and thats fine, I'm sorry for all the fights we get into about that. It's dumb. You don't like him, big deal, you are allowed to feel that way, why do I have to be so stupid to try to mend things between you two. I'm really sorry. I have all these conflicting emotions nagging me. I'm sad and hurt that you want to throw our friendship away because of some drunken texts, or maybe its deeper than that, if it is, you have to let me know, because I don't have a clue. I'm all types of different emotions about Jeff, but I can't talk to you about him. I feel like you want to throw up everytime I mention something about him, and so I try not to mention much. That is why I talk to Ash so much, for some reason she lets me talk about Jeff alot. I actually have so much to talk to you about last Friday night that it is killing me, but you don't want to hear it, I'm sure. Anyways, it is killing me that we are fighting, that you won't talk to me, that you aren't up here in GR with me this week (I was looking forward to it). I don't know when or if I'll ever see you again because you obviously have no interest in seeing me. I'm sorry for that. But I do love you very much and really hope that you will talk to me again soon. Until then, or not, good luck with everything, I'm always here for you. But you have to let me in.