The spirits...they haunt me
The title of this entry comes from something thats been happening the last few weeks. I keep seeing things in my perephrial vison, animals, people, shadows, living things. They always catch my attention and I dart my head to look at them but just as I do they dissapear. Its not creepy or scary, but it gives me this feeling that something bad is gonna happen. And this has been going for a few weeks, so its not a fleeting thing.
I just came to a realization. My personality type, and just, who I am. I need a wingman. I need someone that I can return to whenever I need. Ive always had one. Through gradeschool I always had a friend to stick with. In high school Justin was my wing man, then he started dating christine and left me in the dust and I was alone, It caused me all sorts of depression and pain, then i found Sara and Sara has been my wingman for the last 3 years. Now that I dont have her anymore Im without a wingman and im going through the same thing I went through when Justin left me. Its all so crystal clear to me now, looking at my personality type ENTP, and the situation, and just everything it all makes sense for what im going through. It doesnt help me at all, but it does answere some questions. And for anyone wondering why I dont use them as my wingman, its not personal, its just, there are things that prohibit you from being a viable wingman, nothing I dislike, just...circumstances. It also makes sense why talking to chase helped so much, for that night I had a wingman, someone to divulge my feelings and thoughts to, someone to hang on to so i dont fall over, someone to keep me grounded.
With this new knowlege I can now say with confidence, and much to my extream pain, If I find another girl, I probably wont return to Sara. It hurts so bad to say it, but its what iI feel is true, I wish it werent so, but I fear the most that it is.
What braught this on is that after talking to chase I felt so centered and good. But I feel myself slipping into depression again, Its cuz I dont have a wingman, I dont have anyone, I am alone, No ammount of hanging with friends can replace a single soul I can truely eeply spiritually, call my own, my friend, my wingman.
I just came to a realization. My personality type, and just, who I am. I need a wingman. I need someone that I can return to whenever I need. Ive always had one. Through gradeschool I always had a friend to stick with. In high school Justin was my wing man, then he started dating christine and left me in the dust and I was alone, It caused me all sorts of depression and pain, then i found Sara and Sara has been my wingman for the last 3 years. Now that I dont have her anymore Im without a wingman and im going through the same thing I went through when Justin left me. Its all so crystal clear to me now, looking at my personality type ENTP, and the situation, and just everything it all makes sense for what im going through. It doesnt help me at all, but it does answere some questions. And for anyone wondering why I dont use them as my wingman, its not personal, its just, there are things that prohibit you from being a viable wingman, nothing I dislike, just...circumstances. It also makes sense why talking to chase helped so much, for that night I had a wingman, someone to divulge my feelings and thoughts to, someone to hang on to so i dont fall over, someone to keep me grounded.
With this new knowlege I can now say with confidence, and much to my extream pain, If I find another girl, I probably wont return to Sara. It hurts so bad to say it, but its what iI feel is true, I wish it werent so, but I fear the most that it is.
What braught this on is that after talking to chase I felt so centered and good. But I feel myself slipping into depression again, Its cuz I dont have a wingman, I dont have anyone, I am alone, No ammount of hanging with friends can replace a single soul I can truely eeply spiritually, call my own, my friend, my wingman.