(no subject)
I know that it's been forever since I wrote anything in here. I'm sorry to any of those people that only know about my pathetic excuse for breathing through this thing.
Well, I've been home for break since the 23rd, it was absoutly horrid. Well, when I first got home it was- need I say, I was not exactly in contact with my emotions for about 4 days, and once I got back in touch with reality, things just were as messed up as they were before I got home.
~~~"boys"~~~
Bobby and I called it quits. BUT obviously I'm still so obviously fell for him, that it just still hurts. Sleeping still is hard, because, well- I have a blanket exactly like his on my bed at home, and just sleeping under it makes me wanna cry cause well- its just like being with him. Except with out him there. It's all warm, and comfortable, and it's smooth against my skin, but there's no Bobby.
Phil came to see me for New Years, it was weird, and I didn't feel anything with him, so I don't like what was going on there, but he came and he hung out with me, and then he went home. Woot. End of that story.
Sam and I have been talking since I came home. He was very happy when he found out I can cook, 'cause I was cooking dinner for Matt (my brother) and I one night, and he was on the phone with me, it changed a few things. But he did say one of the sweetest things to me in the whole wide world. But I'm not going to share with you- it's private.
Scott- (a new one) Scott is Dave's (Kayla's Boyfriend) roommate. I've been hanging out with him quite a bit, it's nice to have someone to just hang out with, so that way I don't feel out of place when I'm hanging out with Kayla and Dave. The first night I hung out with them- Scott couldn't stop from grinning- it was kinda cute. (I still missed Bobby like hell, but another story for another time)
Kerry and I hung out when he came home from Canada- he was bummed cause he didn't get to gamble when he was up there, but I guess he was pleased with our little movie date. It was nice, we saw closer. (suggestion of Sam)
Ehhhhh thats enough about the boys. *grin*
Since I've been home- I've been writing, sort of. Mostly just to get things out of my system. I wrote this amazing Poem- it's more like I was sitting outside, and I just started to sing, and what came out was this...
It's gray outside again,
I wish it wasn't this way.
Like the snow less winter skies,
And leaves on Christmas day.
The aggravated pavement,
And dreams all gone away.
Christmas trees lit up in windows,
Hearts and minds in pain.
Now I see the truth,
'n hearts don't often lie.
Little trees keep growing,
And remind me of the times-
He looked at me and smiled;
I brought a twinkle to his eyes.
A cold and lonely bed-
Lets be friends again.
I don't mind the gray skies,
It could be raining instead.
It's cold outside,
And you are no longer by my side..
I wish that there was an eaiser way to just show you guys everything that has happened in the past three weeks- but it isn't easy like that, nothing is easy.
I can't show you the conversation with shimmer about him lactating, and me almost pissing myself, or the party with the kids I graduated with, and me whomping some peoples butts at beerpong. I can't show you what happened between bobby and I. Even though it could be done through my IM conversations, I don't want to submit you to that- and/or put you through the same pain, and the tears that I've endured this break thus far. So please enjoy the little information that I have provided to you. Thanks.
Also- Justin was in town, he checked some stuff out, and never called- I still care, but at the same time. I don't want to care about it anymore.
Sorry- have a nice evening everyone.
Well, I've been home for break since the 23rd, it was absoutly horrid. Well, when I first got home it was- need I say, I was not exactly in contact with my emotions for about 4 days, and once I got back in touch with reality, things just were as messed up as they were before I got home.
~~~"boys"~~~
Bobby and I called it quits. BUT obviously I'm still so obviously fell for him, that it just still hurts. Sleeping still is hard, because, well- I have a blanket exactly like his on my bed at home, and just sleeping under it makes me wanna cry cause well- its just like being with him. Except with out him there. It's all warm, and comfortable, and it's smooth against my skin, but there's no Bobby.
Phil came to see me for New Years, it was weird, and I didn't feel anything with him, so I don't like what was going on there, but he came and he hung out with me, and then he went home. Woot. End of that story.
Sam and I have been talking since I came home. He was very happy when he found out I can cook, 'cause I was cooking dinner for Matt (my brother) and I one night, and he was on the phone with me, it changed a few things. But he did say one of the sweetest things to me in the whole wide world. But I'm not going to share with you- it's private.
Scott- (a new one) Scott is Dave's (Kayla's Boyfriend) roommate. I've been hanging out with him quite a bit, it's nice to have someone to just hang out with, so that way I don't feel out of place when I'm hanging out with Kayla and Dave. The first night I hung out with them- Scott couldn't stop from grinning- it was kinda cute. (I still missed Bobby like hell, but another story for another time)
Kerry and I hung out when he came home from Canada- he was bummed cause he didn't get to gamble when he was up there, but I guess he was pleased with our little movie date. It was nice, we saw closer. (suggestion of Sam)
Ehhhhh thats enough about the boys. *grin*
Since I've been home- I've been writing, sort of. Mostly just to get things out of my system. I wrote this amazing Poem- it's more like I was sitting outside, and I just started to sing, and what came out was this...
It's gray outside again,
I wish it wasn't this way.
Like the snow less winter skies,
And leaves on Christmas day.
The aggravated pavement,
And dreams all gone away.
Christmas trees lit up in windows,
Hearts and minds in pain.
Now I see the truth,
'n hearts don't often lie.
Little trees keep growing,
And remind me of the times-
He looked at me and smiled;
I brought a twinkle to his eyes.
A cold and lonely bed-
Lets be friends again.
I don't mind the gray skies,
It could be raining instead.
It's cold outside,
And you are no longer by my side..
I wish that there was an eaiser way to just show you guys everything that has happened in the past three weeks- but it isn't easy like that, nothing is easy.
I can't show you the conversation with shimmer about him lactating, and me almost pissing myself, or the party with the kids I graduated with, and me whomping some peoples butts at beerpong. I can't show you what happened between bobby and I. Even though it could be done through my IM conversations, I don't want to submit you to that- and/or put you through the same pain, and the tears that I've endured this break thus far. So please enjoy the little information that I have provided to you. Thanks.
Also- Justin was in town, he checked some stuff out, and never called- I still care, but at the same time. I don't want to care about it anymore.
Sorry- have a nice evening everyone.