The Deception (chapter 8, part 2)
The ceiling was dark and too far away for him to be able to make out but he kept staring and straining his eyes as of that would award him with the sight of it. It was a useless activity but it kept him from dwelling upon the burning ache that flared out from his chest like someone had stomped on his sternum and ground down with their heel, attempting to grind the bone into dust. But this ache went deep, right down to his very core. It was a dangerous feeling, one that could give him away but he couldn’t push it away no matter how hard he tried. It seemed that having used Daisuke so desperately, it would take time to rebuild the battered personality and it was Naruto that floated at the surface of his being, staring at the ceiling with his heart laying in ruins within his chest.
The sex had been amazing. There was no debating that. Every stroke into Aoshi’s tight, silky warmth had been incredible, filling him with waves of pleasure that he had not experienced with Genma or Raido. Listening to the way the noble had responded, meeting the blonde’s every thrust with one of his own had been hot beyond belief and then the sound he had made when he came, painting their chests and stomachs with come had been so shattered it had pushed Daisuke over the edge as well. It had just been so good, his orgasm completely wiping him out and they had laid in the tangled mess of their limbs as they rode out the aftershocks. Yet when those had faded, the blond realized what it had cost him and he felt nothing but emptiness inside.
It hadn’t been like this when he was with his teacher. The sex had been about learning, about discovery but this…this was a job. This was deceit and betrayal and he didn’t know how he could keep it up, day after day, no matter how long it took until he had the information he needed. What was worse was that Aoshi was falling in love with someone that didn’t exist and who was only going to hurt him in the worst way possible when it was all said and done. As much as Naruto didn’t want to do this, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the Feudal Lord. Even if what he was planning was terrible and would throw the world into war, there was such warmth within the brunette that it would break the blonde’s heart just as much when his true self was revealed. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt this way if it wasn’t for Sasuke’s presence here but that couldn’t be helped, not now. And Naruto knew, no matter how much he hurt or how much he would hurt Aoshi, he would do what he had been sent here to do because two or three people’s hearts mattered very little when considering the alternative.
“I’ve been watching you,” the older man had said as they lay in the quiet aftermath, his fingers drawing random, swirling patterns over Daisuke’s golden skin and the blond had looked at him, finding the green eyes twin pools of emerald satisfaction, “While you’re with the ninja. You fit in so well with them; you fit in so well with everyone,” his face had been soft and wondering as he said it, not meeting the bigger man’s eyes as he did, “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” that warmth was still there and he studied it, thinking the noble looked so much better without that cool mask guarding his features. Daisuke had lifted a hand and traced the shell of one of the man’s ears, pushing away the heavy fall of damp curls.
“I like the ninja. They are fun and they treat me like I’m one of them. I like it well enough here in the palace and I definitely enjoy your company but I feel like…I don’t have to pretend with them. The people here...” he had shrugged apologetically, breath catching when the older man snatched his wrist and sucked one of his fingers into the slick heat of his mouth, “Their eyes judge. It’s hard to be easy around them because I never know what to say…” he paused dramatically before wrinkling his nose, slightly distracted by the things the brunette was doing to his finger with his tongue, “And that Sasuke is just scary,” Aoshi had pulled the fingers from his mouth then and laughed his beautiful, rolling laugh before laying down, head pillowed on the blonde’s chest.
“I suppose he is,” he had responded before falling quiet for a little while. The blond would have thought him asleep if he hadn’t been gently linking and unlinking their hands before he spoke up again, voice so quiet Daisuke nearly missed what he said, “How long will you stay before you leave too?” and it had made him sound so human and so vulnerable that he hadn’t been able to speak for a long time. By the time he managed to construct an answer, Aoshi’s breathing had evened out and he pressed against the bigger man, warm and comfortable in sleep. Their hands remained linked the whole time.
Now Naruto breathed out a slow breath, trying to steady his emotions because if he started crying he didn’t think he would ever be able to stop. It wasn’t supposed to have been like this. Sasuke wasn’t supposed to be here and he wasn’t supposed to like the Feudal Lord and Aoshi wasn’t supposed to have such a warm, trusting heart. He hadn’t really thought about the consequences of making the man fall in love with Daisuke but now they weighed upon him like the pressure of a thousand gallons of water falling from hundreds of feet, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t know how he could willingly rip out someone else’s heart so they would feel the same way he did now; he would not wish this kind of pain on anyone. Yet there was nothing he could do. He could hardly fall in love with Aoshi and stay here. His heart already belonged to Sasuke, completely and totally and he could never betray his village. But there was a tiny part of him that wished he was Daisuke instead of Naruto and that the inevitable would never catch up with him.
When Sasuke had barged into his rooms those couple of weeks ago and threw him against a wall, he had let himself hope like he never had before. There had been anger in the onyx gaze and jumbled confusion but it was the first time he had seen an absence of that hate the Uchiha had been harboring nearly all of his life. Ever since the day he had met his brother again for the first time since Itachi had left him weeping in the streets of his broken home, his expression had always been dead. But that was gone now, replaced by emotions made even more raw because they had been absent for so long. When he had pressed his forehead to the blonde’s there had been something else there, something new and bright that had stolen Naruto’s breath and made him cling to the hope that he had almost let die.
He had even thrown caution to the wind and had left the Uchiha crest where he had attached it to his body. It was safe enough because Sasuke was no longer taken to wearing it on his clothes anymore and Aoshi had barely even noticed it but even with the risk, he hadn’t been able to part with it. It was almost like a physical manifestation of that bright, blinding hope and his resolve would have been crushed if he’d been forced to hide it away.
Sasuke didn’t hate him and he had cared enough to confront him, even if he had slipped away shortly after and left more questions in his wake than answers. Even so, Naruto could have cried with happiness. Even if the Uchiha had not come back once more after that, making himself so scarce, the blond might have believed he had left the Court all together if he didn’t still linger at Aoshi’s side sometimes acting as his body guard, he was still buoyed by his hope. Hope that Sasuke would come back and hold him and tell him there was another way to do this.
He never did.
As he listened to the wrong man curled around him breathe softly and the ever present sound of running water, he just stared at the ceiling and fought the deadness curling up in his chest.
~~~
The tall figure of the blond man was outlined by the silver moon that was just beginning to set beyond the trees. His bright, golden hair spilled over his shoulders, individual strands tossed about by a playful breeze and each of his muscles softened by the outline of hazy, white light. One hip rested against the doorway as he stared out into the gardens, his stance easy but from where Aoshi lay, he could see every beautiful line of him. Not a stitch of clothing hid him away and he thought it wonderfully sexy that Daisuke was comfortable enough to be completely naked like that. He felt a surge of heat as he took in the curve of his flaccid cock, thinking of how it had felt to have it hard and moving inside of him. The pale light picked up on the two adornments, one which he had told the noble about, the other which he had not but Aoshi had stayed his curiosity. The story about the gold arm band had stung more than he had expected it to but it had rung with truth. The little piercing looked like a family crest and it could easily have been Daisuke’s family symbol. But he wondered because there was a still, pensive look on the blonde’s face as he idly reached over and ran the small charm dangling in his navel through his fingers and the older man couldn’t figure out why the little red and white fan, done in expensive jewels, would look so familiar.
He wondered if it was jealousy for whoever or whatever put such a look on the handsome features that burned in his chest or if it was just the questions that he kept swallowing down. It didn’t really matter anyway, not after the way Daisuke had touched him, held him, fucked him. After nearly a month of pursuing the younger man, he was finally Aoshi’s and he wouldn’t let something like the past get between them now. All that mattered was that it was his bed the blond would turn back to and it was Aoshi he would wrap his arms around as he fell asleep.
Just this once, he let himself trust and his green eyes flickered closed to the image of the beautiful, naked blond standing in the doorway. It was Daisuke’s kiss he felt in his dreams and he didn’t think to ask the question: when did I fall in love?
~~~
The waterfall was loud and angry and he hated it.
The sky was clear and glittering with the faint pinpricks of stars and he hated it.
It was a perfect night. And he hated it.
He had thought he had left his hate behind, the curse finally broken but it stormed over him now, swallowing him as surely as a tidal wave before it crushed him against an unforgiving shore. After a misfortune that had befallen him several months ago, he had promised not to allow his hatred to eat away at his reason anymore. He had promised to try and regain back what he had given up, no matter the cost. That was one of the reasons he had come here; atonement. But this was not what he’d had in mind when he promised to give up his cloak of dark hate and the black, icy coil of shadows and rage came curling back over him until he could barely see the lights from the balcony as they glittered on the falls in front of him. After all of what he had suffered, was he going to live through that loss again? It was different this time, yes, but he could still feel the rising need to take action, to make the source of his pain feel what he was feeling. After he had finally realized what his connection to Naruto was, he had to stand here and grit his teeth as the blond slept with another man.
Okay, so it wasn’t quite on the same level as the death of his family or his brother but when he thought about it, it made a close second. Naruto was the only family he had left. It had been quite a shock when he had first thought that but somehow the many speeches the blond had regaled him with had managed to sink in. There was no one else but him. Oh, he was sure Kakashi and Sakura and even some of the others would be happy to see him should he come back home, which was impossible right now anyway, but they had all given up on him at one point or another. There was only one person who had never given up. When he had figured this out, after a long time of wandering aimlessly while he tried to sort his soul out, he also realized that he also loved Naruto.
So, for all intents and purposes, Naruto was his.
Wood cracked under his fist as he brought it down sharply upon the railing. He knew objectively why the blond was doing this. He was the strongest shinobi in Konoha; he didn’t need teammates to back him up. But this way just wasn’t Naruto. Someone had turned him into a spy, a damn good one but it had never been his way. Sasuke couldn’t understand it; he didn’t want to understand it. He wanted it to stop but at the same time, what could he say? That he had first dibs on the blonde’s heart and he didn’t want anyone else touching him? He could just imagine the fit the head strong moron would throw. Not to mention Aoshi, who would probably try and run him through with that insanely long sword of his. Or maybe Naruto wouldn’t because Sasuke wasn’t sure anymore just what the blond would do next. He always had been unpredictable; it was one of the traits he had admired about the other man. But this…but this is different.
Slowly, as if the very air pained him, he took a breath and then another, cooling the fire of rage burning in his chest and then realized he could look at this another way. Since he couldn’t change the fact that Naruto had changed his name and himself and had wheedled his way into someone else’s bed to garner information then perhaps he could get his former teammate to recognize him as an ally. He too would earn the Feudal Lord’s trust and perhaps, between the two of them, they could figure out the man’s plot faster. That meant less time Naruto had to spend pretending to be something he wasn’t and that could only be a good thing.
Instantly he felt calmer. He wouldn’t tell Naruto about it, of course. He couldn’t run the risk of the blond being unwilling to work with him, though he doubted he would betray the Uchiha. To do so would be betray himself. Still, there was no reason to inform him; that wasn’t why he was going to do it. He would do this for both himself and Naruto and then when it was all over…
Well, first thing was first. The sooner he had Aoshi trusting him, the sooner he could bring the man down and then…
Sasuke turned away and slipped back into the palace, using the shadows like a cloak. Naruto would do it his way and Sasuke would do it another, just like they had always done but this time they both had the same goal in mind. It was the first time he had worked with someone in a long time, even if the blond was unaware that he now had an ally on his side and he was filled with an unfamiliar sense of purpose. He hadn’t been Sasuke the Avenger in nearly a year but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be someone’s hero or even just a guardian. It was strange and different and new but not, he thought, a terrible feeling.
An odd thought crossed his mind then in the whispering quiet of the corridors; Naruto shouldn’t be expected to shoulder this burden all alone. It was a good thing, then, that Sasuke was here…
~~~
The bed in his borrowed rooms was soft and wide, pillows piled up around him like a barrier from the seeping chill that was beginning to take over the land. Summer was officially over and the leaves had been painted the most beautiful, jeweled colors that blanketed the trees like rich cloaks. The light had become richer, a honeyed gold that kept the earth warm during the day but left a sharp chill behind when it went away for the night. He would miss summer for it had always been his favorite time of year but winter would bring its own challenges, he knew. Especially if he couldn’t make any more progress and it was too late by the time he figured out what was going on in this small, seemingly peaceful country. It felt like time was running out but he was stuck in a swirl of hazy compliance, smothered in riches and comfort. He lay quietly without moving, blond hair loose around his head upon the pillow and his deep, bright blue eyes fathomless as he stared blankly.
It was not a terrible thing, being Aoshi’s lover. If he shut his mind down and truly became Daisuke, he found he didn’t feel the persistent throbbing of his heart and his mind’s screams that this wasn’t right and it wasn’t the person he wanted were muted enough that he could push them to a safe corner. The older man was extremely attentive, spending as much time with the blond singer as he could get away with, his green eyes always warm and his smiles always true and bright. The more time he spent in his company, the more he couldn’t push away his confusion and longing and the betrayal he was planning to commit cut him to his very soul.
It was a strange routine he had fallen into during the past few weeks, playing his part so flawlessly he wondered if even Kakashi or Genma could see any cracks in his mask. He still met with his friends down in the Lower Court, the group having grown by nearly two dozen. They were all kind to him and nearly everyone joined them one time or another during his “training sessions”. Their company was easy and fun and he laughed freely when he was there, almost as if he could forget that he was pretending with them too and could show a little bit more of himself. Daisuke was still hopeless when it came to much of the techniques they showed him but he was slowly letting himself seem like he was getting better at hand to hand and using a katana. It was hard to suppress skills that he had since he was young but he was careful and didn’t act on his instincts that fairly screamed at him the entire time.
There was another reason he had allowed himself to become so close to them as well, though he hated that he was using people he now considered friends. When the time came for him to reveal who he really was as he confronted the Feudal Lord, he hoped that his friendship might sway at least some of the ninja, if not to fight with him then at least from going up against him. Strong as he was, he knew he couldn’t handle all the shinobi here and the Palace Guard. The Guard were certainly not on par with a ninja but they had been trained to fight together as one unit and unless he unleashed Kyuubi completely, an action he wouldn’t consider even if he was about to die, he couldn’t stand up to such numbers.
And he knew better than to rely on Sasuke for help but he tried not to dwell on that fact too much because it felt like he was breathing in acid when he did. Naruto took a deep breath of cool, soil-scented air that wafted in from the open doors and turned his head into the pillow as if that would stifle any stray thoughts. No, it was better if he didn’t think about that.
This was actually the first time he had come back to these rooms for something other than to change his clothes. When he wasn’t in the company of Ryouta and the rest, he was with the noble. He ate just about every meal with the brunette, read with him, laughed with him, sat in on some of his more public meetings in which civilians were permitted to voice any complaints or injustices to him and fell asleep next to him in his bed. The garden was actually one of the man’s favorite haunts and the blond had figured out that he went there more if he was stressed. Aoshi didn’t really do much of anything there for the flowers and plants were all well taken care of by the gardeners. He would just sit under one of the wide shade trees planted there, the leaves thick enough to ward off anything but the most persistent rain, and stare quietly into space or he could be seen pacing the long, wandering paths.
Daisuke had learned it was better not to speak to the older man during those times but his company was never turned away. So he would sit beside the noble, leaning against his side while twirling and tangling long, chestnut curls around his fingers or keep pace with him if he was moving, keeping their words to a bare minimum. As it started to get cooler and the rains heavier and more oppressive, they sat side by side on the long wooden deck, watching the grey droplets washing the earth. Aoshi seemed the calmest when the blond would silently scoot forward and lay with his golden head pillowed on the layers of soft silk the older man was always dressed in, trying not to think about how tender the pale, slender fingers felt as they carded through his hair. In those moments, when the brunette couldn’t see his face, he could close his eyes and dream it was Sasuke he was sitting with instead. He knew it was times like those that were what got him through.
Other times, he would sing. Aoshi had an incredible weakness for Daisuke’s voice and would lean back and listen to him with his eyes watching unseen things play before his brilliant emerald gaze, secrets safely hidden away where the blond was beginning to think he could never reach. Then, when his voice would fade away into the soft patter of rain or the hum of a dying summer day, that wide, shining gaze would turn to him, showing him all kinds of emotions that made him long to close his own and turn away. It was then that Aoshi was the most vulnerable. Then the look would change and he would be borne the ground, hips straddled by a grinning brunette while a burning promise shone behind the smile.
On those days, by the time they made their way to dinner, they were both tired and sated and Naruto would once more be sliced apart by the deep look of quiet affection Aoshi would send Daisuke’s way.
Aoshi also liked to sit beside him as he practiced the guitar. Or labored, considering that he seemed to be disinclined to be making as much progress as he had hoped. Sumei was still a patient teacher and she assured him it only got harder before it got easier but he was still frustrated by the instrument. He refused to throw up his hands and forget about it, though, because that just wasn’t something he would do so he continued to plug away at it, struggling with the increasingly complicated chords and melodies he was given each day to master. Actually, it was easier to have the noble at his side as he practiced for the man offered quiet encouragement and would always smile and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth when he finally deemed himself sufficient enough to put the guitar down for the day.
“You did lovely,” the man would say and slide his fingers gently over the line of the blonde’s jaw. Every time he did, Naruto would imagine someone else in his place, the Uchiha’s encouragement silent and filling his eyes and he would choke on his unrealistic musings. What did Sasuke care for music, or for him, even? Since the first night Daisuke had slept with Aoshi, the dark haired ninja had been shadowing the Feudal Lord almost constantly unless the man was alone with Daisuke, as if he was suddenly dedicated to his job of a bodyguard. Perhaps the blond might not have minded but seeing him almost all the time and being unable to say anything to him was excruciating. He knew Sasuke knew he was sleeping with Aoshi now, everyone did, and he knew the Uchiha hated it but the dark gaze never touched upon him once. It was like he had stopped existing and that was more painful than anything else Sasuke could have done. Even worse, Naruto knew he had room to be upset by it. What right did he have to say anything, anyway? Everything the dark haired man had said to him about this not being Naruto’s way was correct; the only reason he did this was because acting too hasty like he would have normally would have thrown them into conflict with River Country and he needed to verify the truth of Aoshi’s plans before he acted.
He just wished it didn’t have to be like this. He wished Sasuke had not come here. He wished he had never fallen in love with the bastard in the first place. Yet all the wishing in the world couldn't change anything....
(This part was broken in half. Click below for the second half!)
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The sex had been amazing. There was no debating that. Every stroke into Aoshi’s tight, silky warmth had been incredible, filling him with waves of pleasure that he had not experienced with Genma or Raido. Listening to the way the noble had responded, meeting the blonde’s every thrust with one of his own had been hot beyond belief and then the sound he had made when he came, painting their chests and stomachs with come had been so shattered it had pushed Daisuke over the edge as well. It had just been so good, his orgasm completely wiping him out and they had laid in the tangled mess of their limbs as they rode out the aftershocks. Yet when those had faded, the blond realized what it had cost him and he felt nothing but emptiness inside.
It hadn’t been like this when he was with his teacher. The sex had been about learning, about discovery but this…this was a job. This was deceit and betrayal and he didn’t know how he could keep it up, day after day, no matter how long it took until he had the information he needed. What was worse was that Aoshi was falling in love with someone that didn’t exist and who was only going to hurt him in the worst way possible when it was all said and done. As much as Naruto didn’t want to do this, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the Feudal Lord. Even if what he was planning was terrible and would throw the world into war, there was such warmth within the brunette that it would break the blonde’s heart just as much when his true self was revealed. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt this way if it wasn’t for Sasuke’s presence here but that couldn’t be helped, not now. And Naruto knew, no matter how much he hurt or how much he would hurt Aoshi, he would do what he had been sent here to do because two or three people’s hearts mattered very little when considering the alternative.
“I’ve been watching you,” the older man had said as they lay in the quiet aftermath, his fingers drawing random, swirling patterns over Daisuke’s golden skin and the blond had looked at him, finding the green eyes twin pools of emerald satisfaction, “While you’re with the ninja. You fit in so well with them; you fit in so well with everyone,” his face had been soft and wondering as he said it, not meeting the bigger man’s eyes as he did, “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” that warmth was still there and he studied it, thinking the noble looked so much better without that cool mask guarding his features. Daisuke had lifted a hand and traced the shell of one of the man’s ears, pushing away the heavy fall of damp curls.
“I like the ninja. They are fun and they treat me like I’m one of them. I like it well enough here in the palace and I definitely enjoy your company but I feel like…I don’t have to pretend with them. The people here...” he had shrugged apologetically, breath catching when the older man snatched his wrist and sucked one of his fingers into the slick heat of his mouth, “Their eyes judge. It’s hard to be easy around them because I never know what to say…” he paused dramatically before wrinkling his nose, slightly distracted by the things the brunette was doing to his finger with his tongue, “And that Sasuke is just scary,” Aoshi had pulled the fingers from his mouth then and laughed his beautiful, rolling laugh before laying down, head pillowed on the blonde’s chest.
“I suppose he is,” he had responded before falling quiet for a little while. The blond would have thought him asleep if he hadn’t been gently linking and unlinking their hands before he spoke up again, voice so quiet Daisuke nearly missed what he said, “How long will you stay before you leave too?” and it had made him sound so human and so vulnerable that he hadn’t been able to speak for a long time. By the time he managed to construct an answer, Aoshi’s breathing had evened out and he pressed against the bigger man, warm and comfortable in sleep. Their hands remained linked the whole time.
Now Naruto breathed out a slow breath, trying to steady his emotions because if he started crying he didn’t think he would ever be able to stop. It wasn’t supposed to have been like this. Sasuke wasn’t supposed to be here and he wasn’t supposed to like the Feudal Lord and Aoshi wasn’t supposed to have such a warm, trusting heart. He hadn’t really thought about the consequences of making the man fall in love with Daisuke but now they weighed upon him like the pressure of a thousand gallons of water falling from hundreds of feet, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t know how he could willingly rip out someone else’s heart so they would feel the same way he did now; he would not wish this kind of pain on anyone. Yet there was nothing he could do. He could hardly fall in love with Aoshi and stay here. His heart already belonged to Sasuke, completely and totally and he could never betray his village. But there was a tiny part of him that wished he was Daisuke instead of Naruto and that the inevitable would never catch up with him.
When Sasuke had barged into his rooms those couple of weeks ago and threw him against a wall, he had let himself hope like he never had before. There had been anger in the onyx gaze and jumbled confusion but it was the first time he had seen an absence of that hate the Uchiha had been harboring nearly all of his life. Ever since the day he had met his brother again for the first time since Itachi had left him weeping in the streets of his broken home, his expression had always been dead. But that was gone now, replaced by emotions made even more raw because they had been absent for so long. When he had pressed his forehead to the blonde’s there had been something else there, something new and bright that had stolen Naruto’s breath and made him cling to the hope that he had almost let die.
He had even thrown caution to the wind and had left the Uchiha crest where he had attached it to his body. It was safe enough because Sasuke was no longer taken to wearing it on his clothes anymore and Aoshi had barely even noticed it but even with the risk, he hadn’t been able to part with it. It was almost like a physical manifestation of that bright, blinding hope and his resolve would have been crushed if he’d been forced to hide it away.
Sasuke didn’t hate him and he had cared enough to confront him, even if he had slipped away shortly after and left more questions in his wake than answers. Even so, Naruto could have cried with happiness. Even if the Uchiha had not come back once more after that, making himself so scarce, the blond might have believed he had left the Court all together if he didn’t still linger at Aoshi’s side sometimes acting as his body guard, he was still buoyed by his hope. Hope that Sasuke would come back and hold him and tell him there was another way to do this.
He never did.
As he listened to the wrong man curled around him breathe softly and the ever present sound of running water, he just stared at the ceiling and fought the deadness curling up in his chest.
~~~
The tall figure of the blond man was outlined by the silver moon that was just beginning to set beyond the trees. His bright, golden hair spilled over his shoulders, individual strands tossed about by a playful breeze and each of his muscles softened by the outline of hazy, white light. One hip rested against the doorway as he stared out into the gardens, his stance easy but from where Aoshi lay, he could see every beautiful line of him. Not a stitch of clothing hid him away and he thought it wonderfully sexy that Daisuke was comfortable enough to be completely naked like that. He felt a surge of heat as he took in the curve of his flaccid cock, thinking of how it had felt to have it hard and moving inside of him. The pale light picked up on the two adornments, one which he had told the noble about, the other which he had not but Aoshi had stayed his curiosity. The story about the gold arm band had stung more than he had expected it to but it had rung with truth. The little piercing looked like a family crest and it could easily have been Daisuke’s family symbol. But he wondered because there was a still, pensive look on the blonde’s face as he idly reached over and ran the small charm dangling in his navel through his fingers and the older man couldn’t figure out why the little red and white fan, done in expensive jewels, would look so familiar.
He wondered if it was jealousy for whoever or whatever put such a look on the handsome features that burned in his chest or if it was just the questions that he kept swallowing down. It didn’t really matter anyway, not after the way Daisuke had touched him, held him, fucked him. After nearly a month of pursuing the younger man, he was finally Aoshi’s and he wouldn’t let something like the past get between them now. All that mattered was that it was his bed the blond would turn back to and it was Aoshi he would wrap his arms around as he fell asleep.
Just this once, he let himself trust and his green eyes flickered closed to the image of the beautiful, naked blond standing in the doorway. It was Daisuke’s kiss he felt in his dreams and he didn’t think to ask the question: when did I fall in love?
~~~
The waterfall was loud and angry and he hated it.
The sky was clear and glittering with the faint pinpricks of stars and he hated it.
It was a perfect night. And he hated it.
He had thought he had left his hate behind, the curse finally broken but it stormed over him now, swallowing him as surely as a tidal wave before it crushed him against an unforgiving shore. After a misfortune that had befallen him several months ago, he had promised not to allow his hatred to eat away at his reason anymore. He had promised to try and regain back what he had given up, no matter the cost. That was one of the reasons he had come here; atonement. But this was not what he’d had in mind when he promised to give up his cloak of dark hate and the black, icy coil of shadows and rage came curling back over him until he could barely see the lights from the balcony as they glittered on the falls in front of him. After all of what he had suffered, was he going to live through that loss again? It was different this time, yes, but he could still feel the rising need to take action, to make the source of his pain feel what he was feeling. After he had finally realized what his connection to Naruto was, he had to stand here and grit his teeth as the blond slept with another man.
Okay, so it wasn’t quite on the same level as the death of his family or his brother but when he thought about it, it made a close second. Naruto was the only family he had left. It had been quite a shock when he had first thought that but somehow the many speeches the blond had regaled him with had managed to sink in. There was no one else but him. Oh, he was sure Kakashi and Sakura and even some of the others would be happy to see him should he come back home, which was impossible right now anyway, but they had all given up on him at one point or another. There was only one person who had never given up. When he had figured this out, after a long time of wandering aimlessly while he tried to sort his soul out, he also realized that he also loved Naruto.
So, for all intents and purposes, Naruto was his.
Wood cracked under his fist as he brought it down sharply upon the railing. He knew objectively why the blond was doing this. He was the strongest shinobi in Konoha; he didn’t need teammates to back him up. But this way just wasn’t Naruto. Someone had turned him into a spy, a damn good one but it had never been his way. Sasuke couldn’t understand it; he didn’t want to understand it. He wanted it to stop but at the same time, what could he say? That he had first dibs on the blonde’s heart and he didn’t want anyone else touching him? He could just imagine the fit the head strong moron would throw. Not to mention Aoshi, who would probably try and run him through with that insanely long sword of his. Or maybe Naruto wouldn’t because Sasuke wasn’t sure anymore just what the blond would do next. He always had been unpredictable; it was one of the traits he had admired about the other man. But this…but this is different.
Slowly, as if the very air pained him, he took a breath and then another, cooling the fire of rage burning in his chest and then realized he could look at this another way. Since he couldn’t change the fact that Naruto had changed his name and himself and had wheedled his way into someone else’s bed to garner information then perhaps he could get his former teammate to recognize him as an ally. He too would earn the Feudal Lord’s trust and perhaps, between the two of them, they could figure out the man’s plot faster. That meant less time Naruto had to spend pretending to be something he wasn’t and that could only be a good thing.
Instantly he felt calmer. He wouldn’t tell Naruto about it, of course. He couldn’t run the risk of the blond being unwilling to work with him, though he doubted he would betray the Uchiha. To do so would be betray himself. Still, there was no reason to inform him; that wasn’t why he was going to do it. He would do this for both himself and Naruto and then when it was all over…
Well, first thing was first. The sooner he had Aoshi trusting him, the sooner he could bring the man down and then…
Sasuke turned away and slipped back into the palace, using the shadows like a cloak. Naruto would do it his way and Sasuke would do it another, just like they had always done but this time they both had the same goal in mind. It was the first time he had worked with someone in a long time, even if the blond was unaware that he now had an ally on his side and he was filled with an unfamiliar sense of purpose. He hadn’t been Sasuke the Avenger in nearly a year but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be someone’s hero or even just a guardian. It was strange and different and new but not, he thought, a terrible feeling.
An odd thought crossed his mind then in the whispering quiet of the corridors; Naruto shouldn’t be expected to shoulder this burden all alone. It was a good thing, then, that Sasuke was here…
~~~
The bed in his borrowed rooms was soft and wide, pillows piled up around him like a barrier from the seeping chill that was beginning to take over the land. Summer was officially over and the leaves had been painted the most beautiful, jeweled colors that blanketed the trees like rich cloaks. The light had become richer, a honeyed gold that kept the earth warm during the day but left a sharp chill behind when it went away for the night. He would miss summer for it had always been his favorite time of year but winter would bring its own challenges, he knew. Especially if he couldn’t make any more progress and it was too late by the time he figured out what was going on in this small, seemingly peaceful country. It felt like time was running out but he was stuck in a swirl of hazy compliance, smothered in riches and comfort. He lay quietly without moving, blond hair loose around his head upon the pillow and his deep, bright blue eyes fathomless as he stared blankly.
It was not a terrible thing, being Aoshi’s lover. If he shut his mind down and truly became Daisuke, he found he didn’t feel the persistent throbbing of his heart and his mind’s screams that this wasn’t right and it wasn’t the person he wanted were muted enough that he could push them to a safe corner. The older man was extremely attentive, spending as much time with the blond singer as he could get away with, his green eyes always warm and his smiles always true and bright. The more time he spent in his company, the more he couldn’t push away his confusion and longing and the betrayal he was planning to commit cut him to his very soul.
It was a strange routine he had fallen into during the past few weeks, playing his part so flawlessly he wondered if even Kakashi or Genma could see any cracks in his mask. He still met with his friends down in the Lower Court, the group having grown by nearly two dozen. They were all kind to him and nearly everyone joined them one time or another during his “training sessions”. Their company was easy and fun and he laughed freely when he was there, almost as if he could forget that he was pretending with them too and could show a little bit more of himself. Daisuke was still hopeless when it came to much of the techniques they showed him but he was slowly letting himself seem like he was getting better at hand to hand and using a katana. It was hard to suppress skills that he had since he was young but he was careful and didn’t act on his instincts that fairly screamed at him the entire time.
There was another reason he had allowed himself to become so close to them as well, though he hated that he was using people he now considered friends. When the time came for him to reveal who he really was as he confronted the Feudal Lord, he hoped that his friendship might sway at least some of the ninja, if not to fight with him then at least from going up against him. Strong as he was, he knew he couldn’t handle all the shinobi here and the Palace Guard. The Guard were certainly not on par with a ninja but they had been trained to fight together as one unit and unless he unleashed Kyuubi completely, an action he wouldn’t consider even if he was about to die, he couldn’t stand up to such numbers.
And he knew better than to rely on Sasuke for help but he tried not to dwell on that fact too much because it felt like he was breathing in acid when he did. Naruto took a deep breath of cool, soil-scented air that wafted in from the open doors and turned his head into the pillow as if that would stifle any stray thoughts. No, it was better if he didn’t think about that.
This was actually the first time he had come back to these rooms for something other than to change his clothes. When he wasn’t in the company of Ryouta and the rest, he was with the noble. He ate just about every meal with the brunette, read with him, laughed with him, sat in on some of his more public meetings in which civilians were permitted to voice any complaints or injustices to him and fell asleep next to him in his bed. The garden was actually one of the man’s favorite haunts and the blond had figured out that he went there more if he was stressed. Aoshi didn’t really do much of anything there for the flowers and plants were all well taken care of by the gardeners. He would just sit under one of the wide shade trees planted there, the leaves thick enough to ward off anything but the most persistent rain, and stare quietly into space or he could be seen pacing the long, wandering paths.
Daisuke had learned it was better not to speak to the older man during those times but his company was never turned away. So he would sit beside the noble, leaning against his side while twirling and tangling long, chestnut curls around his fingers or keep pace with him if he was moving, keeping their words to a bare minimum. As it started to get cooler and the rains heavier and more oppressive, they sat side by side on the long wooden deck, watching the grey droplets washing the earth. Aoshi seemed the calmest when the blond would silently scoot forward and lay with his golden head pillowed on the layers of soft silk the older man was always dressed in, trying not to think about how tender the pale, slender fingers felt as they carded through his hair. In those moments, when the brunette couldn’t see his face, he could close his eyes and dream it was Sasuke he was sitting with instead. He knew it was times like those that were what got him through.
Other times, he would sing. Aoshi had an incredible weakness for Daisuke’s voice and would lean back and listen to him with his eyes watching unseen things play before his brilliant emerald gaze, secrets safely hidden away where the blond was beginning to think he could never reach. Then, when his voice would fade away into the soft patter of rain or the hum of a dying summer day, that wide, shining gaze would turn to him, showing him all kinds of emotions that made him long to close his own and turn away. It was then that Aoshi was the most vulnerable. Then the look would change and he would be borne the ground, hips straddled by a grinning brunette while a burning promise shone behind the smile.
On those days, by the time they made their way to dinner, they were both tired and sated and Naruto would once more be sliced apart by the deep look of quiet affection Aoshi would send Daisuke’s way.
Aoshi also liked to sit beside him as he practiced the guitar. Or labored, considering that he seemed to be disinclined to be making as much progress as he had hoped. Sumei was still a patient teacher and she assured him it only got harder before it got easier but he was still frustrated by the instrument. He refused to throw up his hands and forget about it, though, because that just wasn’t something he would do so he continued to plug away at it, struggling with the increasingly complicated chords and melodies he was given each day to master. Actually, it was easier to have the noble at his side as he practiced for the man offered quiet encouragement and would always smile and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth when he finally deemed himself sufficient enough to put the guitar down for the day.
“You did lovely,” the man would say and slide his fingers gently over the line of the blonde’s jaw. Every time he did, Naruto would imagine someone else in his place, the Uchiha’s encouragement silent and filling his eyes and he would choke on his unrealistic musings. What did Sasuke care for music, or for him, even? Since the first night Daisuke had slept with Aoshi, the dark haired ninja had been shadowing the Feudal Lord almost constantly unless the man was alone with Daisuke, as if he was suddenly dedicated to his job of a bodyguard. Perhaps the blond might not have minded but seeing him almost all the time and being unable to say anything to him was excruciating. He knew Sasuke knew he was sleeping with Aoshi now, everyone did, and he knew the Uchiha hated it but the dark gaze never touched upon him once. It was like he had stopped existing and that was more painful than anything else Sasuke could have done. Even worse, Naruto knew he had room to be upset by it. What right did he have to say anything, anyway? Everything the dark haired man had said to him about this not being Naruto’s way was correct; the only reason he did this was because acting too hasty like he would have normally would have thrown them into conflict with River Country and he needed to verify the truth of Aoshi’s plans before he acted.
He just wished it didn’t have to be like this. He wished Sasuke had not come here. He wished he had never fallen in love with the bastard in the first place. Yet all the wishing in the world couldn't change anything....
(This part was broken in half. Click below for the second half!)
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