(no subject)

[nimrodd]

I wait. I prepare for an arrival that will never occur.
You said you'd be here, but you've said that before,
Only to leave me standing here, foolishly holding
My heart in my hands, broken and silent.

You ask. I give. You beg. I give. You insist
That I stand still, not moving to the left or right,
While you roam freely and openly, leaving me
To follow you, and close my heart once more.

If I could say to you what's on my mind, I'd tell you I love you.
I'd tell you I want you. I'd tell you of the hurt and anger that
Simmer under my skin, but I keep silent because I know the cost.
I know that no matter what is said or done, I am wrong, as always.

I wish I could climb a tree, to the very top until there
Was nothing but sky between me and the stars.
I'd stretch out my hands to touch them, feel their energy
Thrilling through me. But I can't even get to the top of the tree.

I stay behind, head down, because I love you. I watch you touch
The stars, receive their energy and then magnify it out
To the world. I smile when you smile. I cry when you are sad.
Because I adore you so, I dare not ask if I may touch them too.

I know, because you love me, you hold me close.
I know, because you adore me, you keep me with you.
I know that there is no one else but you for me, so
I shut myself in, close my eyes and imagine what isn't.

And now I wait. Wait for you to return from touching the stars,
Breathing their essence. I am standing here stupidly smiling
as you fail to appear. I am standing silent, my broken heart in my hands.
Because I love you. Because I want you. Because you said so.