Yes, I do post of the kink-meme replies of my own that I liked.
Prompt: Either an alternate universe/warped universe (Adam can do that after all) where the lot of them end up in a typical RPG; or the Them play D & D in Adam's basement and invite Aziraphale, who drags Crowley along. Adventures ensue! Party dynamics! Nerd talk! Confused Aziraphale wondering where the devil worship is because he's gotten a memo saying it should be there, and Snarky Crowley! Etc.
These were my first inclinations but by no means necessary: Adam as the paladin/hero, Pepper as the heavy-hitting fighter, Brian as the bard, Wensleydale as the cleric/healer, Aziraphale as the mage, and Crowley as the thief. Or, for the second option, all of the above except Crowley as the disgruntled wouldn't-be-here-if-not-for-wanting-to-have-sex-with-Aziraphale DM who has no qualms about "rocks fall everyone dies."
And if they end up in or playing Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, or Dragon Age, I may just die of sheer nerd crossover squee.
tl;dr The Them + Aziraphale/Crowley. Anon needs nerdy fluffy friendship (Aziraphale/Crowley on the side (not needing a focus, but no pairing them with anyone else please.)
"So I've seen the rules, but how does this game really work?" Crowley asked Pepper.
"Well, basically, you kill everything that tries to eat the mage or cleric, that would be Wensley, and then you take whatever treasure you can get, and you prevent Brian from playing things like the kazooka, or casting an illusion of half-elven lap-dancers, or stuffing the Archlich in a bag of holding, or wishing for a timeloop or a dire gummi bear bikini contest. And sometimes there's plot, which usually involves saving a village or a princess or stopping some evil overlord and his incompetent henchmen from taking over the world or destroying it or, when Brian is the DM, covering it in bouncy balls with a squid on them."
"And this involves... paper, figurines and charts?"
"Oh, yes, but we play this game with Adam. Playing games with Adam is always fun. Especially RPG's and such."
"Such as?" "Oh, Adam likes Legacy of Kain and Baldurs Gate. Me, I like Resident Evil and sometimes Beyond Good & Evil when I'm in a friendly mood. Wensley likes thought out worlds and strategy. And classics like Metroid and Ico. Brian likes stuff with random things, or creepy AIs, but we never play those anymore. Animating Glados or Shodan is just a bad idea. And we sorta stopped playing Shadow of the Colossus. It's an awesome game, but it makes you feel like a right bastard."
Aziraphale, in the mean time, talked to Adam. "Well, I just got this memo, you see."
Adam nodded. "But that's just some rumor by Christian fundamentalists from in America, really."
Aziraphale nodded. "Crowley also complained that I'd been listening to fundamentalists again. But I should at least properly find out about it."
"Well, that's alright. We could use a mage, anyway. And a DM. I mean, I'd just like to play for a change, and the others, well, Wensley railroads, Pepper just makes it a monstermashfest, and Brian, well, he's Brian. He'd either make it a serious siege with zero chance of pleasant survival or something involving naked women, oil, drink and any odd thing he could think off."
"And Crowley would do well, because..."
"Well, he's a nice guy, honest and intelligent and such, which is alright, but mostly because he has a decent streak of sadism, which is kind of what you need in a DM."
"Alright, so let's get this straight." said Crowley. He pointed at Adam.
"You're a lawful good Paladin, yeah?"
Adam nodded.
Crowley turned to Pepper. "You're a chaotic goodish fighter-thief, who's mostly a fighter."
"Yeah." Pepper said.
Wensley. "Lawful goodish cleric, aka walking band-aid with a stick." Wensley nodded.
Brian. "Chaotic neutral bard-ranger halfling with a horrid sense of style." Brian grinned.
Crowley turned to Aziraphale. "Neutral good mage hot elfbabe in a chainmail bikini."
Aziraphale raised an eyebrow. "After the first three words, very much no."
"And the standard starting place is a tavern, yeah?"
"Yeah." said Adam.
Crowley grinned. "You all meet... in a brothel."
After no-one really started to argue that within the first three seconds, Adam snapped his fingers and they could see the brothel Crowley was envisioning. It was odd. It was there, but as a sort of background, with the humans and human-shaped-beings still at their table, in a sort of limbo only a shadow or a whisper away from the world they percieved as a background.
"Well, that makes that easier. No need for excessive description then." Crowley said. "Alright, Adam, you're here because you chased Pepper to this place, who stole your money. Pepper, you were hungry and he looked rich, you picked his pocket, he noticed, you couldn't lose him and you went here where you expected he wouldn't follow you. Alright?"
Pepper and Adam nodded.
"Wensley, you're here to try and help the whores, with faith-things and their health and morals and whatnot, which all suffer under their oppressors and society and such. Brian..."
"I'm here for interior decorating. New silk drapings, stuff like that."
"Interior decorating it is. So this brothel, turns out it's actually... Yes, Aziraphale?"
"Where's my character in this all?"
"Oh, I'm getting to that."
"It's not anything indecent, is it?"
"Of course not."
"Only you're grinning like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you've got something indecent planned."
"It's not anything sexist, is it?" Pepper asked.
"Not towards you, no."
"Alright then. But don't focus too much of the story on your boyfriend, though. I want to kill things."
"You'll have your chance soon enough. Say, these NPC's, they're not sentient, are they?"
"Nah." Adam said. "They're just like computerprograms, really."
"Alright. So the brothel is a cover for a slavetrading organization that also kidnaps people."
Aziraphale looked at Crowley and then facepalmed.
"Exactly." Crowley said cheerfully. "So you notice the kidnapped Aziraphale, and Wensley notifies you what the whores told him about this place and all, and you take on this organization and save Aziraphale. Who's too tied up to do anything about it himself."
Adam grinned and made a gesture. Suddenly a readheaded fighter, a good-looking paladin, a serious-faced cleric and a halfling buried in silk drapings appeared in the brothel, as also an angelic-faced elfin mage, that was held by two brutes. She was bound, gagged and struggling.
The paladin seemed to exchange a smirk with a presence that went unseen. But at least Aziraphale wasn't wearing the chainmail bikini. That would have chafed, no doubt.
"Right." Pepper said. "The big scary ones are mine. You guys take the rest."
"But the only ones here are the big scary... ah." said Wensley as a stream of smaller mooks burst from the doors and made the scantly clad whores scream and scramble out of the way.
These mooks looked like a cross between ninjas and guards, whereas the ones holding Aziraphale look,ed like the ill-bred offspring of a bodybuilder contest, a heap of studded leather and some bulldogs.
Brian pulled an ukulele from the drapings and started to, well, technically play music.
"Stab, stab, stab the slaver bandits." he wailed happily.
Then he looked around to make sure Pepper wouldn't notice him, turned the ukulele around and released the shotgun taped to the back.
Adam saw him. "Brian, you know what we said about weapons from the wrong genre."
Brian hid the shotgun guiltily and pulled a knife instead.
Pepper, meanwhile, had killed one brute and was fighting the other. Aziraphale tried to free herself, only to discover she couldn't, due to her not being a monk. Wensley knocked a ninja-guard in the teeth with his stick. Adam went trough them like a paladin trough a horde of ninjas who hadn't bothered to look up the law of conservation of ninjutsu.
Aziraphale moved over to Brian, who cut her free. Which meant that suddenly both the ninja-guards and the unseen entity of the DM suddenly discovered the unpleasantness of getting shot with magic missile.
After committing multiple murder in more-or-less self-defense, the Them, like anyone playing an RPG for more than five minutes, looted the corpses with practiced ease.
"Alright." said Aziraphale. "We discorporated the thoughts pretending to be people that attacked us, impolitely took their purses and suchlike, Pepper gave Adam his money back, now can I please be turned back into a man-shaped being?"
"Crowley?" asked Adam.
"Oh, alright." said Crowley, who was still only visible as a distortion of air, or possibly as the reflections of a glass statue without the statue.
A shimmer shaped like an arm moved, and Aziraphale was male again. The angel looked into one of the many mirrors.
"Well, that is better, but this shape is still quite a bit more pretty than my usual self."
Crowley snorted. "Yeah, right, pull the other one, Aziraphale, it's got bells on. I mean, the only difference is that you've got pointy ears and are two sizes smaller, and that's just the elf-thing."
Aziraphale turned to look at the glinting it of air, and saw that Crowley believed what he said. He suppressed a smile.
"Alright then. What should we do now?"
"Stop Biran from messing with the corpses." Pepper said dryly.
"Brian." said Wensley. "What exactly are you doing?"
"Well," began Brian, looking faintly guilty, "I was only trying to spell my name with them, honest."
"It looked more like you tried to put them in humorous positions again, didn't you?"
Brian looked at the arm he was holding. "No?" he ventured.
Eventually they did leave the brothel, improbably unsmeared by blood, to step into a harbor town. They found a rare ingredient for a cure to save the town in some swamp in the form of a dragon's innards.
They stopped Brian from trying to prepare the dragon and some goblins Brian killed as dinner.
They secured the holy relic that kept Wensley's order powerful from a dungeon and an orcish warlord. They found the legendary Mermaid's treasure and paid Peppers bills with it, and then had plenty left for some provisions such as health potions, armour, weapons and a rubber ducky (Brian again).
Wensley healed people, such as the time Adam was nearly skewered in half by a nasty trap, which resulted in the mage glaring at a patch of air that shimmered innocently.
They retrieved something for Brian out of a tower. What Pepper found as she picked the lock of the treasure chest was a bag of marbles. Brian cut back on his antics for a full twenty minutes after that.
After that they sort of focused on the main quest, which involved stopping a busty darklady from taking over the world, as per order of Adam's order, by preventing her from getting the five shards of the orb of plot coupon. And also by stopping her general, who turned out to be Crowley in flashy black armour with an even more flashy grin and the excuse that he'd almost gotten bored.
Which the adventuring party had noticed, mostly because of increasingly crazy strong opponents, diabolical traps and puzzles and half-insane NPC's that made their continued survival rather perilous.
Which caused Adam and Pepper not to do anything about Brian getting creative with siege weaponry, and Wensley's tendency to munchkin his way out of things.
Eventually they could only win when Aziraphale took it upon himself to thoroughly distract the enemy general, and even then only just.
Still, it was fun. Even the bit where Brian pretended to be Kratos. Or Wensley accidentally activated a volcano. Or where Pepper killed an NPC that could save Adam from being poisoned.
Aziraphale took to the game amazingly well, possibly because he ignored the squishy wizard archetype and simply used everything he could get his hands on as a weapon. A few millennia of having an enemy did do wonders for your ability in a fight.
After all was won, the evil was vanquished and the resulting collapse of authority left the country in economic ruin, Adam snapped his fingers and brought them back to his cellar, where only a few hours had passed.