Visual aids for my family
Hello, children! Confused by the rampant incest in your bloodline? Can't quite figure out if you're banging your cousin or your uncle? No need to call your grandfather and ask embarassing questions! Just follow the orange line!
I present to you:
Nimloth's Handy Guide to Elven Incest
I got to thinking after I was told that my grandson had married my cousin, and after I saw the chart that my daughter drew up, I started sketching one of my own.
The following are four graphical representations of the generations and bloodties in my family. Because humans reproduce and die so damn fast, there are a few gaps where the names of the generations between were lost. Lime green lines represents those gaps. And because women are clearly so unnecessary when it comes to having children, they've been excluded in many places in the family records. Borrowing from Greek mythology and Theoden's smartass remark, we'll assume that such descendants (descending from the purple lines) sprang fully formed from their fathers' foreheads. (Thus the term "Athena offspring" in the key.) Either that, or like me, their dad knocked up a crackwhore and didn't catch her name before she left them on their father's doorstep. (That's what Dad always said happened, anyway.)
A blurb on each chart describes the actual familial relationship of the couple, followed by a brief description of relations to put the blood tie in weirder terms. As a wise man once said-- Third cousins: distant enough to be legal, close enough to be creepy!
Names in bold are family members that had journals at the time these charts were made. Some people have shown up since. Tough shit for them.
Now, first, let's take a look at the tree:
The "First Elves" are elves that awoke or were born at Cuivienen.
Hah. And you thought the Valar were bad. Our excuse is the same as theirs. Inbreeding is damn hard to avoid when your species is ten minutes old on the cosmic clock.
It wasn't until I made this that I remembered that the transgendered dead man is another one of my direct descendants. Whaddayaknow. One more of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great...etc-grandchildren on LiveJournal.
First, the coupling I find the most amusing: Celebrian and Elrond.
My pretty great-granddaughter and her high-strung husband...
And last but not least, my dear husband and myself...
ed. note-- Earwen was Olwe's brat. I forgot to put the purple line between them. If she shows up- sorry, E.
I present to you:
Nimloth's Handy Guide to Elven Incest
I got to thinking after I was told that my grandson had married my cousin, and after I saw the chart that my daughter drew up, I started sketching one of my own.
The following are four graphical representations of the generations and bloodties in my family. Because humans reproduce and die so damn fast, there are a few gaps where the names of the generations between were lost. Lime green lines represents those gaps. And because women are clearly so unnecessary when it comes to having children, they've been excluded in many places in the family records. Borrowing from Greek mythology and Theoden's smartass remark, we'll assume that such descendants (descending from the purple lines) sprang fully formed from their fathers' foreheads. (Thus the term "Athena offspring" in the key.) Either that, or like me, their dad knocked up a crackwhore and didn't catch her name before she left them on their father's doorstep. (That's what Dad always said happened, anyway.)
A blurb on each chart describes the actual familial relationship of the couple, followed by a brief description of relations to put the blood tie in weirder terms. As a wise man once said-- Third cousins: distant enough to be legal, close enough to be creepy!
Names in bold are family members that had journals at the time these charts were made. Some people have shown up since. Tough shit for them.
Now, first, let's take a look at the tree:
The "First Elves" are elves that awoke or were born at Cuivienen.
Hah. And you thought the Valar were bad. Our excuse is the same as theirs. Inbreeding is damn hard to avoid when your species is ten minutes old on the cosmic clock.
It wasn't until I made this that I remembered that the transgendered dead man is another one of my direct descendants. Whaddayaknow. One more of my great-great-great-great-great-great-great...etc-grandchildren on LiveJournal.
First, the coupling I find the most amusing: Celebrian and Elrond.
My pretty great-granddaughter and her high-strung husband...
And last but not least, my dear husband and myself...
ed. note-- Earwen was Olwe's brat. I forgot to put the purple line between them. If she shows up- sorry, E.