Wanderings of Weirdness...
So yeah...still alive...note sure why the universe just won't kill me and get it over with but *shrug*.
First - now officially no longer in I/T as a profession. My now 24 year old daughter (as of today!) is so far on the spectrum that she will likely never be able to take care of herself. So the state sees fit to pay me to be her primary caregiver. Go figure.
My wife still has cancer. She's on her 4th run of chemotherapy still but we're hoping the next PET scan will come up clear. That's in a couple of weeks or so. Last time it was a lymph node that showed up but is currently shrinking from treatment.
Slowly coming up from bottom honestly.
There's a lot of things that need to be fixed in the house - even things not damaged by Daughterzilla - but now I have a fully home schedule where I don't have to search for a job or drive to the office or clients. (BTW we finally figured out how Daughterzilla was flooding the bathroom - she was wadding up toilet paper into the tub drain and overflowing the tub. At some point the subfloor will need replacement. I can do that but it's a full-on can of worms as there are already plumbing issues in that area to rectify.) I'm currently avoiding using a zip-cutter to remove really badly messed up carpet in the living room. The good news is that it looks like it's nice solid boards under it. So we may end up with an actual wood floor once it's all up and out. Taking it out in small pieces though to make the job a little easier and to not have to move everything.
My blood pressure has gone from 178/83 to 126/65 since I officially got funding from the state. Go figure. Can you guess why I'm a proponent of the Basic Living Stipend? ;-)
I'm still not writing but I'm closer now to getting back to it. It feels like I actually want to write now rather than "why?" if you know what I mean. I've left all my poor characters and idea in suspended animation and they're probably a little peeved with me.
When I got let go from my last position I cashed out my 401k and again paid off much debt but bought a new-to-me 2006 Honda Element. It's red, I have an Avatar:The Last Airbender window sticker on the back, and one headlight fogs up. Between that and several minor issues appearing larger than they are, the vehicle is named Zuko. *grin*
We're currently decluttering but that is slowed after every chemo. There are boxed I can't make decisions on. (Not unless I want to be a bastard that is.) So it's slow going. But we got rid of 15 construction grade bags of stuff so far. No small feat. But still more to go. I really want to get my sewing machine into my office space but we're not quite there yet. (Goddess only knows what restore I'll have to do to that old Kenmore. I hope the belt is still good. Last time I had to sand and oil the needle shank.)
Oh and yeah I'm now Nine Toed Nimitzbrood. ;-)
I have neuropathy in my legs and in my hands. (I'm betting most of my hands is carpel tunnel though.) So let's go through the chain of events here...
1 - I get my right foot internally fixated which leaves it at least a full size bigger than the left due to it flattening out a little. This causes me to buy bigger sized shoes.
2 - Foot doc notices the left second toe has a rub on it and just puts a Band-Aid on it and says we'll check it next week.
3 - A week passes and I'm in there and he takes off the Band-Aid and "OMG! This is rubbed through, almost rubbed to the bone! We'll have to get an MRI and get the Orthotics guy in to look at your shoes!"
4 - Orthotics guy comes in while I'm waiting to go into foot MRI. He gets the weirdest look on his face "Do you always walk with tennis balls in your shoes?" I emit what I can only describe as the first hysterical laugh I've ever heard myself use. It was high pitched and horrible.
5 - Our 1 year old puppy had collapsed a tennis ball and stuck it into my shoe and I walked on it for a week because I couldn't feel it. Thus the second toe in wore almost clear though.
6 - Doctor says that they can either put me in the hospital and pump me full of antibiotics and MAYBE save the toe or MAYBE lose the foot. OR they can just remove the toe. "Lose the toe doc." (The doc also took a picture of my toe "For a future presentation." So maybe if you get a Diabetics presentation in the future it'll include my toe pic. XD ) I was in the hospital a couple days later (and attended a weekly podcast I help record - by cell from my hospital bed) and then the toe was gone. Now it's all just healing.
And that's why I now qualify for a bad Tolkien-esq ballad. XD Seriously though from a functional point I'll never miss it. And EVERYONE around me was so more concerned about it than I was. It's fine. It could have been SO much worse.
(Also I have to annoyingly exaggerate a limp if I want to use the electric carts at the stores. Stop gatekeeping you assholes!)
Let's see...what else...
My father has considerable dementia and I watch him two days out of the week. I walked all over the local VA facility in North Chicago until we got to Neurology. He had a verbal assessment which included funny moments such as "Who prepares your meals?" "I don't know they just show up at the house!" "From nowhere." "From nowhere." and "How many children do you have?" "Children? No...no I don't have any of those." Needless to say it's creeping up on him and has gotten worse since 2017. I think what did him in for that appointment was the doc not only tested his reflexes but gave him the periphery nerve test with the pin. "Can you feel that?" "Ow! Yeah I can feel that!" "How about here?" "Ow!"
Mom just had her live-in boyfriend pass away. So she's going through all those cycles right now. They will be removing the couch which was his so I have threatened to send her an inflatable on with matching blow-up flamingos.
I'm still very tired but it's a different kind of tired. Am I still chronically depressed? Yes. But that's likely not going to go away so I just am living with it as I always have. Money for therapy is not an option right now.
We are likely going to be cord-cutters like most of my friends. My daughter will just have to learn to use a Roku instead of the satellite. I watch no broadcast TV anyways and as long as we set up a plan for live stations my wife will be content with that.
I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff but this is a long enough dump as it is. Today we are off to the in-laws to celebrate my daughter's birthday. I'm not happy because several potentially un-immunized people will be there. *sigh* Back to it I guess. I'll try and see if I can't post more as I have to keep a journal of stuff concerning my daughter anyways and doing this is only a browser away.
Have a good day! Enjoy the Solstice! Stay safe! Cross-posted from Dreamwidth ( https://nimitzbrood.dreamwidth.org/283836.html ) but feel free to comment here as well.
First - now officially no longer in I/T as a profession. My now 24 year old daughter (as of today!) is so far on the spectrum that she will likely never be able to take care of herself. So the state sees fit to pay me to be her primary caregiver. Go figure.
My wife still has cancer. She's on her 4th run of chemotherapy still but we're hoping the next PET scan will come up clear. That's in a couple of weeks or so. Last time it was a lymph node that showed up but is currently shrinking from treatment.
Slowly coming up from bottom honestly.
There's a lot of things that need to be fixed in the house - even things not damaged by Daughterzilla - but now I have a fully home schedule where I don't have to search for a job or drive to the office or clients. (BTW we finally figured out how Daughterzilla was flooding the bathroom - she was wadding up toilet paper into the tub drain and overflowing the tub. At some point the subfloor will need replacement. I can do that but it's a full-on can of worms as there are already plumbing issues in that area to rectify.) I'm currently avoiding using a zip-cutter to remove really badly messed up carpet in the living room. The good news is that it looks like it's nice solid boards under it. So we may end up with an actual wood floor once it's all up and out. Taking it out in small pieces though to make the job a little easier and to not have to move everything.
My blood pressure has gone from 178/83 to 126/65 since I officially got funding from the state. Go figure. Can you guess why I'm a proponent of the Basic Living Stipend? ;-)
I'm still not writing but I'm closer now to getting back to it. It feels like I actually want to write now rather than "why?" if you know what I mean. I've left all my poor characters and idea in suspended animation and they're probably a little peeved with me.
When I got let go from my last position I cashed out my 401k and again paid off much debt but bought a new-to-me 2006 Honda Element. It's red, I have an Avatar:The Last Airbender window sticker on the back, and one headlight fogs up. Between that and several minor issues appearing larger than they are, the vehicle is named Zuko. *grin*
We're currently decluttering but that is slowed after every chemo. There are boxed I can't make decisions on. (Not unless I want to be a bastard that is.) So it's slow going. But we got rid of 15 construction grade bags of stuff so far. No small feat. But still more to go. I really want to get my sewing machine into my office space but we're not quite there yet. (Goddess only knows what restore I'll have to do to that old Kenmore. I hope the belt is still good. Last time I had to sand and oil the needle shank.)
Oh and yeah I'm now Nine Toed Nimitzbrood. ;-)
I have neuropathy in my legs and in my hands. (I'm betting most of my hands is carpel tunnel though.) So let's go through the chain of events here...
1 - I get my right foot internally fixated which leaves it at least a full size bigger than the left due to it flattening out a little. This causes me to buy bigger sized shoes.
2 - Foot doc notices the left second toe has a rub on it and just puts a Band-Aid on it and says we'll check it next week.
3 - A week passes and I'm in there and he takes off the Band-Aid and "OMG! This is rubbed through, almost rubbed to the bone! We'll have to get an MRI and get the Orthotics guy in to look at your shoes!"
4 - Orthotics guy comes in while I'm waiting to go into foot MRI. He gets the weirdest look on his face "Do you always walk with tennis balls in your shoes?" I emit what I can only describe as the first hysterical laugh I've ever heard myself use. It was high pitched and horrible.
5 - Our 1 year old puppy had collapsed a tennis ball and stuck it into my shoe and I walked on it for a week because I couldn't feel it. Thus the second toe in wore almost clear though.
6 - Doctor says that they can either put me in the hospital and pump me full of antibiotics and MAYBE save the toe or MAYBE lose the foot. OR they can just remove the toe. "Lose the toe doc." (The doc also took a picture of my toe "For a future presentation." So maybe if you get a Diabetics presentation in the future it'll include my toe pic. XD ) I was in the hospital a couple days later (and attended a weekly podcast I help record - by cell from my hospital bed) and then the toe was gone. Now it's all just healing.
And that's why I now qualify for a bad Tolkien-esq ballad. XD Seriously though from a functional point I'll never miss it. And EVERYONE around me was so more concerned about it than I was. It's fine. It could have been SO much worse.
(Also I have to annoyingly exaggerate a limp if I want to use the electric carts at the stores. Stop gatekeeping you assholes!)
Let's see...what else...
My father has considerable dementia and I watch him two days out of the week. I walked all over the local VA facility in North Chicago until we got to Neurology. He had a verbal assessment which included funny moments such as "Who prepares your meals?" "I don't know they just show up at the house!" "From nowhere." "From nowhere." and "How many children do you have?" "Children? No...no I don't have any of those." Needless to say it's creeping up on him and has gotten worse since 2017. I think what did him in for that appointment was the doc not only tested his reflexes but gave him the periphery nerve test with the pin. "Can you feel that?" "Ow! Yeah I can feel that!" "How about here?" "Ow!"
Mom just had her live-in boyfriend pass away. So she's going through all those cycles right now. They will be removing the couch which was his so I have threatened to send her an inflatable on with matching blow-up flamingos.
I'm still very tired but it's a different kind of tired. Am I still chronically depressed? Yes. But that's likely not going to go away so I just am living with it as I always have. Money for therapy is not an option right now.
We are likely going to be cord-cutters like most of my friends. My daughter will just have to learn to use a Roku instead of the satellite. I watch no broadcast TV anyways and as long as we set up a plan for live stations my wife will be content with that.
I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff but this is a long enough dump as it is. Today we are off to the in-laws to celebrate my daughter's birthday. I'm not happy because several potentially un-immunized people will be there. *sigh* Back to it I guess. I'll try and see if I can't post more as I have to keep a journal of stuff concerning my daughter anyways and doing this is only a browser away.
Have a good day! Enjoy the Solstice! Stay safe! Cross-posted from Dreamwidth ( https://nimitzbrood.dreamwidth.org/283836.html ) but feel free to comment here as well.