For the Inquisition and Art challenge
I honestly don't know what happened this week. This is crack, crossover!crack. If anyone asks I blame it all on...oh hell I can't blame it on anyone but myself. I'm sorry?
Title: Why you never should let a drunk demon in a bookshop.
Author: Nimenic
Wordcount: 500
Fandom: Merlin/Monty Phyton/Good Omens/BTVS/SPN
Character(s): There are soo many of them
Warnings: CRACK PEOPLE, CROSSOVER!CRACK!
Rating: PG or R
Disclaimer: I own nothing. And after reading this they would never let me either.
“Arthur, can you please explain why you failed to report to me this morning as you were ordered to?” Uther stares at his son.
“Truly father I’m sorry but it was all Merlin’s fault. Right Merlin?”
“Don’t blame this on your useless manservant, Arthur. Be a man and give me a straight answer.”
“Okay, I was practicing my sword skills. I didn’t expect there to be such an inquisition about it.”
“NOBODY EXPECT THE SPANISH INQUISITION”!
“The who?”
“The Spanish Inquisition. Our two weaponry elements are, fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency…Our three weaponry elements are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. Our four…let’s start again.”
“Excuse me, but just who are you and what are you doing here in Camelot?”
“You are all accused for heresy how do you all plead?”
“Heresy to what? guards remove these strange men.”
“But we are the Spanish Inqusition.”
“And I am king Uther Pendragon. Now bring me some spam!”
*****************
“Do stop trying to rewrite history Crowley. Uther Pendragon never met the Spanish Inquisiton and he certainly did not kill any one over spam.” Aziraphale slurs.
“You’re no fun angel. Le Morte d’Arthur would be a much more thrilling read if it had some spam in it and those nice red robes.” Crowley grins and fumbles to remove his sunglasses.
“I’m cutting you off. No more wine for you dear boy. Oi! Where are you going?”
“I’m going to draw naughty stick figures in all of your arthurian books.” The demon says as he moves in the direction of the angels priceless books.
“NO! Crowley get back here!”
*************
“Buffy, Xander, Willow. Everything okay?”
“No problem Giles. Just trying to find a book for history class.”
“Good. Very good then.”
“Uhm…Giles.”
“Yes.”
“Is Le Morte d’Arthur supposed to come with badly drawn stick figuers of apparently Arthur and Merlin doing things I really don’t want to think about?” Xander asks.
“Oh, my. I….this is not supposed. This…” The flusterd librarian mumbles as he tries to take the book away from Xander.
“Looks like someone got creative. Is ‘that’ even possible?” Buffy says as she points to one drawing in particular.
“I so don’t want to know.” Xander shrugs.
“ Giles, why does it say ‘SPAM OR DEATH’ on the back of the cover?” Willow asks as she takes the book from Xander as he nearly droped it after seeing stick figures doing things he never hopes he sees stick figures do again.
“I…Oh dear.” Is all that the flustered librarian manages as he finally gets his hands on the book from Willow. “I never should have bought it from that shifty looking book store.”
*****************
“Hey, Sam look. Stick figure porn.”
“What’s that?”
“Some book about a guy named Arthur and the other one is named Merlin.”
“The Arthurian Ledgends?”
“Might be. Didn’t we try this one once?”
“Yeah, hurt like hell and you couldn’t bend your knee for like a day after.”
“Oh yeah. Ouch!”
*runs away*
Title: Why you never should let a drunk demon in a bookshop.
Author: Nimenic
Wordcount: 500
Fandom: Merlin/Monty Phyton/Good Omens/BTVS/SPN
Character(s): There are soo many of them
Warnings: CRACK PEOPLE, CROSSOVER!CRACK!
Rating: PG or R
Disclaimer: I own nothing. And after reading this they would never let me either.
“Arthur, can you please explain why you failed to report to me this morning as you were ordered to?” Uther stares at his son.
“Truly father I’m sorry but it was all Merlin’s fault. Right Merlin?”
“Don’t blame this on your useless manservant, Arthur. Be a man and give me a straight answer.”
“Okay, I was practicing my sword skills. I didn’t expect there to be such an inquisition about it.”
“NOBODY EXPECT THE SPANISH INQUISITION”!
“The who?”
“The Spanish Inquisition. Our two weaponry elements are, fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency…Our three weaponry elements are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope. Our four…let’s start again.”
“Excuse me, but just who are you and what are you doing here in Camelot?”
“You are all accused for heresy how do you all plead?”
“Heresy to what? guards remove these strange men.”
“But we are the Spanish Inqusition.”
“And I am king Uther Pendragon. Now bring me some spam!”
*****************
“Do stop trying to rewrite history Crowley. Uther Pendragon never met the Spanish Inquisiton and he certainly did not kill any one over spam.” Aziraphale slurs.
“You’re no fun angel. Le Morte d’Arthur would be a much more thrilling read if it had some spam in it and those nice red robes.” Crowley grins and fumbles to remove his sunglasses.
“I’m cutting you off. No more wine for you dear boy. Oi! Where are you going?”
“I’m going to draw naughty stick figures in all of your arthurian books.” The demon says as he moves in the direction of the angels priceless books.
“NO! Crowley get back here!”
*************
“Buffy, Xander, Willow. Everything okay?”
“No problem Giles. Just trying to find a book for history class.”
“Good. Very good then.”
“Uhm…Giles.”
“Yes.”
“Is Le Morte d’Arthur supposed to come with badly drawn stick figuers of apparently Arthur and Merlin doing things I really don’t want to think about?” Xander asks.
“Oh, my. I….this is not supposed. This…” The flusterd librarian mumbles as he tries to take the book away from Xander.
“Looks like someone got creative. Is ‘that’ even possible?” Buffy says as she points to one drawing in particular.
“I so don’t want to know.” Xander shrugs.
“ Giles, why does it say ‘SPAM OR DEATH’ on the back of the cover?” Willow asks as she takes the book from Xander as he nearly droped it after seeing stick figures doing things he never hopes he sees stick figures do again.
“I…Oh dear.” Is all that the flustered librarian manages as he finally gets his hands on the book from Willow. “I never should have bought it from that shifty looking book store.”
*****************
“Hey, Sam look. Stick figure porn.”
“What’s that?”
“Some book about a guy named Arthur and the other one is named Merlin.”
“The Arthurian Ledgends?”
“Might be. Didn’t we try this one once?”
“Yeah, hurt like hell and you couldn’t bend your knee for like a day after.”
“Oh yeah. Ouch!”
*runs away*