(no subject)
I find it exhausting to budget my life. A month and a half into my Wellsboro existence, I already know I need to move, again. I am renting half of a beautiful gothic house with two bedrooms, a large kitchen, living room, dining room, two bathrooms, wonderful pourch, etc . . . but it is nearly $700 a month! Damnit! One person does not need all of this space.
I found a car yesterday that is amazing and would be in my means if I moved somewhere else. Problem with this? Wellsboro doesn't exactly have a booming or attractive market for apartments. Even when I do find a listing, the landlord does not accept pets -- leaving Scully in the dust isn't an option, I'm just not that cruel or self-centered.
So what do I do? I come home from work, defeated, and eat a veggie burger . . . lonely and desperate for a change in my situation.
It's bad enough that I absolutely hate living here (lack of people my age, food I eat, fiance I love) . . . but now I can hardly afford to do so. Yet, at the prospect of moving someplace else, I keep all of my belongings packed, hoping to again cram my brother's ghetto van full for another wild relocation.
I miss Stephen terribly. At the risk of sounding like a whiny teenager, I will even go so far as to say I miss him so much that it depresses me. I just feel lethargic, lonely . . . out of place, even. When he's around my entire demeanor improves, I feel at home. My phone hasn't been cooperating either . . . and almost every time we talk I have to listen extremely carefully so I can decipher his words through the intense crackling of the static. Sometimes he even sounds like a robot, his voice treated with some sort of metallic quality. I don't know what's going on. Motorola needs to reevaluate their performance.
Anyway, I'm about to go running. I hope it will cheer me up. Basically I'm stuck in this routine: wake early, work, eat, wait an hour, run/bike/swim/whatever, sleep. There is nothing else to do here. I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself -- but all of you in college need to understand . . . no matter how motivated you are to stay entirely busy, interesting, or active when you enter the working world -- it is exceedingly difficult. I vowed I wouldn't let myself turn into a boring old-timer, but here I am in all of my "adult" glory.
Something needs to change.
I need to get back to Ithaca.
And Stephen, dear, it needs to be Wednesday already!
I found a car yesterday that is amazing and would be in my means if I moved somewhere else. Problem with this? Wellsboro doesn't exactly have a booming or attractive market for apartments. Even when I do find a listing, the landlord does not accept pets -- leaving Scully in the dust isn't an option, I'm just not that cruel or self-centered.
So what do I do? I come home from work, defeated, and eat a veggie burger . . . lonely and desperate for a change in my situation.
It's bad enough that I absolutely hate living here (lack of people my age, food I eat, fiance I love) . . . but now I can hardly afford to do so. Yet, at the prospect of moving someplace else, I keep all of my belongings packed, hoping to again cram my brother's ghetto van full for another wild relocation.
I miss Stephen terribly. At the risk of sounding like a whiny teenager, I will even go so far as to say I miss him so much that it depresses me. I just feel lethargic, lonely . . . out of place, even. When he's around my entire demeanor improves, I feel at home. My phone hasn't been cooperating either . . . and almost every time we talk I have to listen extremely carefully so I can decipher his words through the intense crackling of the static. Sometimes he even sounds like a robot, his voice treated with some sort of metallic quality. I don't know what's going on. Motorola needs to reevaluate their performance.
Anyway, I'm about to go running. I hope it will cheer me up. Basically I'm stuck in this routine: wake early, work, eat, wait an hour, run/bike/swim/whatever, sleep. There is nothing else to do here. I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself -- but all of you in college need to understand . . . no matter how motivated you are to stay entirely busy, interesting, or active when you enter the working world -- it is exceedingly difficult. I vowed I wouldn't let myself turn into a boring old-timer, but here I am in all of my "adult" glory.
Something needs to change.
I need to get back to Ithaca.
And Stephen, dear, it needs to be Wednesday already!