Too Many losses...too little time.....
Crap, it's been close to two years since I added anything....I've had both Grandmothers die from Lung Cancer.....time to quit smoking people, it really is dangerous shit........and now my God-son has died. He was 5 months old and I am at a loss as to explain any of it to either myself or to my son...
Why does death occur? Is it really just an end to a cycle of life, or is it God making random and heart breaking decisions like all those bible thumpers say? At this point, trying to believe that there is some "supreme being" making decisions like that creeps me out. I don't believe in God. I don't believe that we are the only beings in the universe (lots of wasted space if we are.....totally unplausible as far as I am concerned). But at the same time, I want to believe that there is a heaven and that the babies of the world that are taken from us so young are safe and happy in a wonderful place where there is no pain, no hunger, no war, famine or disease.
And to top it off, now I am concerned....was this a "natural" death or did something bad happen that no one wants to admit? What kind of parent loses a baby but doesn't re-act? * I * would have to committed...I'd be a freekin nutcase with my grief.....suicide watch and the whole thing. I can't comprehend what's going on in this case, as I have yet to sit with them and really talk about it....kinda hard to do when you are more than 600km away and juat chatting on-line, you know? I'll be watching closely and making very careful notes while I am there and when I am with them at the funeral.......very closely......
Why does death occur? Is it really just an end to a cycle of life, or is it God making random and heart breaking decisions like all those bible thumpers say? At this point, trying to believe that there is some "supreme being" making decisions like that creeps me out. I don't believe in God. I don't believe that we are the only beings in the universe (lots of wasted space if we are.....totally unplausible as far as I am concerned). But at the same time, I want to believe that there is a heaven and that the babies of the world that are taken from us so young are safe and happy in a wonderful place where there is no pain, no hunger, no war, famine or disease.
And to top it off, now I am concerned....was this a "natural" death or did something bad happen that no one wants to admit? What kind of parent loses a baby but doesn't re-act? * I * would have to committed...I'd be a freekin nutcase with my grief.....suicide watch and the whole thing. I can't comprehend what's going on in this case, as I have yet to sit with them and really talk about it....kinda hard to do when you are more than 600km away and juat chatting on-line, you know? I'll be watching closely and making very careful notes while I am there and when I am with them at the funeral.......very closely......