(no subject)

[nilsby]

So I don't know if you've heard this yet, but some genius up in Amarillo has decided to "boycott Houston" because we have a gay mayor and a new Planned Parenthood center.  He obviously isn't quite sure how or why a boycott works, but he's got a nice long list of ways that you can supposedly punish...well, somebody.  It isn't clear who he wants to punish, and his methods aren't targeted toward anyone or anything in particular.   If the whole state wasn't laughing at him and his silly attempt to boycott the 3rd largest city in the US as a whole, we'd never even know it was happening. 
 

1. If you take a vacation, do not take it in Houston. (Um, ok?  Tourism isn't one of our main industries, and nearly all of the 'tourist destinations are outside the city limits, anyway.)
2. If you drive through Houston, do not buy fuel, food, or stay in a hotel there. Spend your money in one of Houston’s outlying suburbs. (Again, um, ok?  I've taken a lot of road trips, and I've NEVER stopped in the middle of a city for gas or food.  That's what Bucee's is for, right?)
3. If you fly, arrange connecting flights so as to avoid lay-overs in Houston. If this cannot be avoided then spend no money at the airport. (Nice try, but the airports are in those 'outlying suburbs' that he just encouraged us to spend our money in.)
4. If you shop online, find out the location of the company who’s website you are browsing. If the online store is based in Houston, go to another website. (I thought I voted for the mayor...I didn't know that corporations got to choose one for us.  Oops.)
5. If you have relatives in Houston, try to get them to come visit you rather than you visit them. (Great, punish your relatives for living in a particular city, regardless of who the voted for!  Is that a demonstration of the 'family values' you're always promoting?)
6. If you are considering a business convention, do not consider Houston.  (Who, exactly are they trying to punish here?  Corporations that own large hotels here?)
7. If you are planning a business or professional conference, plan it somewhere other than Houston. (Redundant.)
8. If you are considering hiring a contractor, do not hire one based in Houston. (Oh, yes, let's hire a guy from Dallas to come and put a new roof on our house.  That's going to work out great!)
9. If you are searching for employment, do not accept a position in Houston. (Now you're supposed to punish yourself?)
10. If you are seeking investment opportunities, look at opportunities elsewhere. (Again, screw profit, let's punish ourselves!)
11. If you live in Houston, shop in an outlying suburb whenever possible. (Again with the 'outlying suburbs'...let me drive out to Katy to get some gas, then use half of it on the way back home.)
12. If you are considering a service ( cell phone, internet, cable TV, etc) do not use one based in Houston. (Wait, you guys are allowed to use the internet?  Isn't it full of...homos?)
13. If you need to ship something, do not use Houston’s ports. (Next time I have a couple hundred tons of cargo, I'll keep that in mind.)
14. If you are starting a new business do not open it in Houston. (See #s 9 & 10.)
15. If you are considering expanding your business no not expand in Houston. (This is getting old...)
16. If you live in Houston and you have considered moving, now is a good time.  (Note from 'the homo': please do.  I'll even give you some boxes.)
17. If you need a medical procedure and it does not endanger your health, go to another city. (But you should endanger your family's financial future by turning down a job?)
18. If you want to buy a newspaper, do not buy a Houston paper. (A newspaper?  Really?  OMG!  Our economy is going to collapse if the 3 people on earth who still buy a newspaper stop!)
19. If you need insurance, do not buy a policy from a company based in Houston. (Good plan.  You won't be driving anyway, because all the oil companies are based in Houston.)
20. If you are a sports fan do not watch Houston’s teams or spend money on their team’s apparel or products.  (Do you actually know the names of any of our sports teams?  No?  That's because they're not very popular.  I don't think anyone who lives outside of Houston is likely to be a fan.)