Why write?
The initial reason to write is that I'm not happy at the moment. And that's just silly. I mean, I've just been offered a great job that starts in a few weeks. At precisely the moment that I was looking for a new post, I saw it in the Guardian, worked hard on the application, worker even harder to prepare for the interview, and when the day came, I performed as well as I ever have. So, when the Head of Learning and Development for School Home Support called me the following afternoon, I was shaking, but I felt like I deserved it. Surely, this experienced ought to have left me buoyant, and excited about London...?
Everything that has led up to that has gone so well, too. When I left my last proper job at the Cardigan Centre, I decided to temp and my NHS post has been great, really: £9.91/hr, people nice enough, and I've made a positive impact on my little corner of the work. It's a little dull, but it's bridged the gap and it still involved learning and training, which has made it so much more survivable than your average soulless clerical post.
Tutoring has been mixed; in the end, I was probably not tough enough or skilled enough to be the right support for Lucy. Or maybe she was just never going to get there in the time we had? She failed the year, and has now been accepted onto Contemporary Art next year. Still, we had fun trying to make some sense of a mess of gaps and words thrown at pages...
By contrast, teaching Ming-je has been a pleasure. He wants to increase his confidence, vocabulary and pronunciation, and I get to be a total nerd three times a week, and work through idioms, Alice in Wonderland , current affairs, Mr Men books, Jonathan Ross interviews on YouTube, enunciation paragraph and staring at our faces as we make words... I shall miss Ming-je when I leave for London. I am handing over his lessons to my friend Jen Low, whose background in Linguistics and teaching experience should make her perfect :)
So what is it about all this that has got me down?
Worrying about money? Well, the new salary is £28,277, which in the long term will sort out any money concerns. And I'll be able to work as a tutor, too if I want a bit extra. Just four hours at £25/hr will be an extra £100/wk. I still have the end bits of debts to pay off, but *shrug* not for long.
Worrying about moving house? Maybe. I have to find somewhere I like, not rush in with the wrong people, find a way to get some stuff down to London. These are manageable tasks, and I've done them before, albeit not to London. There is something more unsettling about it. A feeling like dissatisfaction, rather than anxiety.
Ramzy has arrived, and I'll talk to him now rather than write.
Everything that has led up to that has gone so well, too. When I left my last proper job at the Cardigan Centre, I decided to temp and my NHS post has been great, really: £9.91/hr, people nice enough, and I've made a positive impact on my little corner of the work. It's a little dull, but it's bridged the gap and it still involved learning and training, which has made it so much more survivable than your average soulless clerical post.
Tutoring has been mixed; in the end, I was probably not tough enough or skilled enough to be the right support for Lucy. Or maybe she was just never going to get there in the time we had? She failed the year, and has now been accepted onto Contemporary Art next year. Still, we had fun trying to make some sense of a mess of gaps and words thrown at pages...
By contrast, teaching Ming-je has been a pleasure. He wants to increase his confidence, vocabulary and pronunciation, and I get to be a total nerd three times a week, and work through idioms, Alice in Wonderland , current affairs, Mr Men books, Jonathan Ross interviews on YouTube, enunciation paragraph and staring at our faces as we make words... I shall miss Ming-je when I leave for London. I am handing over his lessons to my friend Jen Low, whose background in Linguistics and teaching experience should make her perfect :)
So what is it about all this that has got me down?
Worrying about money? Well, the new salary is £28,277, which in the long term will sort out any money concerns. And I'll be able to work as a tutor, too if I want a bit extra. Just four hours at £25/hr will be an extra £100/wk. I still have the end bits of debts to pay off, but *shrug* not for long.
Worrying about moving house? Maybe. I have to find somewhere I like, not rush in with the wrong people, find a way to get some stuff down to London. These are manageable tasks, and I've done them before, albeit not to London. There is something more unsettling about it. A feeling like dissatisfaction, rather than anxiety.
Ramzy has arrived, and I'll talk to him now rather than write.