IM BACK!!! AND I HATE THE SNOW!!!

[nillymendres]

So i got back on friday and i slept the whole way back to Wisconsin. My sister and i went to Billys play. The moment i saw him i was in total awe. I missed him so much that it literally hurt. I dont know what im gonna do when he moves to Madison. Sniff sniff. Whatever i dont want to think about it. Anyway i couldnt keep my eyes off of him and the moment he lipped "I LOVE YOU" was the moment i new he was truly the one true friend that i would never give up in this world for anything or anyone. I mean, ive known in my head and some what in my heart that he is my best friend, but i have really bad trust issues but like i said, for the first time i new with ALL my heart that we are the closest and best friends ever. We are meant to be. And everyday i thank God for the blessings i have in my life. Hoooo. Enough with the sappy stuff. On saturday night, after hanging with Billy i came home knowing that my biggest crush was at my apartment. Now mind you ive had a crush on him for almost all my life. So i stepped in my apartment and there he was sleeping on the end of my couch with very little room on it, because my step sister was sleeping on one end. I turned on the light and he woke up i felt bad. So he padded the couch with the intention of me sitting down next to him with very little room. Well then he simply rested his head on my shoulder and fell asleep. Ugh i was in heaven. I know that it wasnt anything serious, but him being just an inkling of my friend made me feel on top of the world. And then he woke up and i said goodnight to him before he left. I went to my room to find some pjs, then i knock was at my bedroom door. It was him with very little light on his face and so serious he asked, "do you want to be in a song writing contest with me?" I said, "yeah, sure just tell me when and ill do it with ya!" I was floating now. I know that he will never see or seek any interest in me, not only does he have girlfriend and i would never do anything to jeopardize that, but i can still dream. I mean i have been for 13 yrs. Itll never happen.
Billy i love you!!!!
Nikki