Helping people
There are some situations where you do need sympathy & concern, but there are other cases where I feel like "tough love" is more helpful. Normally I am one to empathize and sympathize (not always a good thing of course). A few days ago one of my classmates left the room crying because of having a bad day at work, and so I went and followed her to make sure she was okay. I gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong and she started telling me how she had no assistance at all in her classroom all week. She also said that the Professor overseeing her student teaching was the one who held a grudge against her, and would be likely to fail her. I was already sympathizing with her because I understand what work stress is like--I think most people do-- and it's one of the stresses in life that can be more complicated to fix than others. But, after telling me these things she started saying things like:
"Why am I even doing this career? I could be at home sipping margaritas by the pool. I have the money for it."
When she said that I said "Because you love kids and you want to help them have a better chance in life. Think about what motivated you to go back to school."
And she replied with "I just needed something to do, I was bored. How would you even understand? You are always so happy, you have no idea what this feels like."
I told her that of course I know what it's like to be stressed at work...everyone does, and that being happy is a choice & all about your approach to life. I said that maybe she needs to just take a different perspective. I said some other things too, and maybe it got too personal. After that she started shouting at me, and stormed off to the college pub. I didn't follow her but I felt bad. My other friends had been standing there listening to the conversation and I asked them if I came on too strong, and they said no, that Laura had just been too upset to even think about what was being said. I still felt bad.
But I think if I could re-do the conversation, I still would have said what I said. I love my classmates and I love Laura, but what she said bugged me. I am willing to bet she was just stressed and said things in the moment. But it bothers me when people go into Special Education with a false understanding of what it can be like. It really isn't an easy job, and if you are thinking about how you wish you can sip drinks by the pool, it definitely isn't the career for you...
"Why am I even doing this career? I could be at home sipping margaritas by the pool. I have the money for it."
When she said that I said "Because you love kids and you want to help them have a better chance in life. Think about what motivated you to go back to school."
And she replied with "I just needed something to do, I was bored. How would you even understand? You are always so happy, you have no idea what this feels like."
I told her that of course I know what it's like to be stressed at work...everyone does, and that being happy is a choice & all about your approach to life. I said that maybe she needs to just take a different perspective. I said some other things too, and maybe it got too personal. After that she started shouting at me, and stormed off to the college pub. I didn't follow her but I felt bad. My other friends had been standing there listening to the conversation and I asked them if I came on too strong, and they said no, that Laura had just been too upset to even think about what was being said. I still felt bad.
But I think if I could re-do the conversation, I still would have said what I said. I love my classmates and I love Laura, but what she said bugged me. I am willing to bet she was just stressed and said things in the moment. But it bothers me when people go into Special Education with a false understanding of what it can be like. It really isn't an easy job, and if you are thinking about how you wish you can sip drinks by the pool, it definitely isn't the career for you...