(no subject)
A/N: Prompt: Shell. A silly piece. A ‘noodle incident’ also has an interesting definition on TV Tropes. Told in a different narrative style. 1744 words.
Noodle Incident 64
Of course everyone knows that large lectures can be problematic. Half the class dozes off, and everybody else is either playing on their tablets, studying for other subjects, or passing around coffee and potato chips. Yes, I guess we can all relate, right? Same thing would happen every classtime, even worse when there was more than one class in the room. Now I didn’t really mind very much when we would have joint sessions, since it meant I could get away from my usual seat---I always lucked out when it came to seats---and sit wherever my friends were. Of course I sat beside my girlfriend during these classes. That’s important for this story, but it’s not the main point, really.
Why am I always the one telling these stories? Fine, I’ll continue as long as no one spills their drinks till I get to the end of it.
It happened one Tuesday, in our case conference class. Now usually I would have time to get a proper lunch before these insanely long reports, but that day I was doing overtime in the wards so I only had time to grab a can of those instant stir-fried style noodles from the cafeteria. In hindsight I should have just eaten the entire can at a table and risked being five minutes late instead of walking to the lecture hall carrying all my things, plus that can of shellfish flavoured noodles. Yes, that sense of punctuality kicking in. I couldn’t do anything about it even then.
Anyway I got there early enough to deposit my things on a seat, well away from the cranky aircon and just far enough from the podium so I could fall asleep and hopefully not be noticed by the doctor in charge of the conference. I was about to finish what was left of my lunch when I saw my buddy Mikey running up. Yes, that Mikey who still goes about with me on medical missions. It just goes to show you that this wasn’t one of those friendship-over scenarios.
“Hey Claude, is anyone else in the room now?” Mikey asked me. Poor guy was sweating like a pig, he must have come from a long way. Well when I told him no, he just sighed. “I need to get a projector or Dr. Tan is going to kill me.”
“A projector? Doesn’t this hall have one built in?” I asked.
“Well he said he wants something better. Could you check if they have a spare projector in one of the cabinets there, and rig it up?” he pleaded.
“Can’t you check it yourself?” I asked. My lunch was getting good and I didn’t want to just stuff it down my throat.
“I have to run up to the library and see if they have some available. And get a laptop too. Please?” my friend said. “Come on, I’m almost out of time.”
Well who was I to refuse? “I’ll send you a message if I find anything,” I said before going back into the auditorium. In hindsight he could have just done it himself if he’d taken a moment to think; the cabinets weren’t that hard to find, or open. There were two of those things, on opposite sides of the screen. I opened the one on the left, found nothing there, and went on to inspect the right.
In hindsight again, I should have been wary when the latch seemed to stick for a moment as I tried to get the door open. This cabinet had two compartments, one tiny one on top and one larger one on the bottom. There were some boxes set up at the bottom, so I left the can of noodles on the top shelf while I went to take a look. The only thing I found were some old cases and shells for projectors, the sort of transparent box the technicians like to put the equipment in. Not exactly the best find of the afternoon.
Anyone can guess where this is going. I left the auditorium door open just enough for a draft to make its way in. I heard the door slam and when I turned around, I hit the latch such that it locked. Great. So there I was, standing with a sheet of plywood between me and a dripping can of noodles, with only six plastic projector cases for company. I tried pushing the door open but it wouldn’t budge. Before I could even yell for help, I heard the auditorium door open and my classmates coming in.
Need I mention that it was a joint class?
“Hm, Claude is already here. That’s his bag and his file case on the seat there,” I heard my girlfriend say. “But where on earth is he?”
“He should be around; I told him to check if there was a projector here,” Mikey replied.
Of course Fran wasn’t going to take it. “Did you see him after? And what’s wrong with this room? It smells like noodles.”
Mikey was still clueless. “I can’t smell anything, Fran.” Seriously, he said that. That was the one time his sense of smell failed.
Obviously it wasn’t enough for Fran. I have to hand it to her for being insistent. “I can smell MSG a mile away. Anyway, it’s not like Claude to be late; I’ll give him a call.”
I thought I was saved; if he called, they would hear my phone ringing from the closet, and I would be out in a jiffy. However when I checked my pants, that gadget was nowhere to be found there. That was moments before I heard a frog croaking from the general direction of the auditorium seats. I’d forgotten I’d put my phone in my bag just before going to lunch.
“Okay that’s weird, his things, all his things are here, but where is he?” Fran said. I could imagine her looking all over the place. “Maybe he just went to the bathroom....”
“No I didn’t! Fran! Mikey! I’m just here!” I shouted. That cabinet door must have been so thick or the crowd must have been too noisy; no one heard me. I was on the point of banging one of those projector cases against the door when I heard a microphone screech.
“Class, settle down. Now will those assigned to report today please load their presentations into the computer,” Dr. Dante said---yes, the famous Dr. Dante Tan, the same one who almost lobbed a scalpel at someone in the OR. Just hearing that was enough to make me think twice about making a racket in the closet. Dr. Dante would have definitely given me more than just hell if he found me in there. Judging by how near his voice sounded, he must have had his back to the closet.
I don’t think much time really elapsed in that stupid cabinet; it just felt like forever thanks to the dark, the dust, and the smell of the noodles. I heard Fran and some other students complain about it, and Dr. Dante even went as far to ask if anyone dared to eat in his class. Well little did he know! Before I could do anything, the report had already begun and I was forced to remain silent. Perhaps I could just sit there till the report was over, and figure out some more dignified way out from my predicament.
I was beginning to get a cramp from being stuck in that closet so long, and besides it was getting far too warm and stuffy. I had picked up a projector case to rap it against the closet when I heard something like rustling paper. “Okay, I’ll call someone at random for recitation,” Dr. Dante said. “Ramirez, Claude Alejandro!”
I was frozen. I mean, what should I have done? Before I could figure out something, Dr. Dante called my name again. “Is he present?”
“Uh, Doc, his things are here but he might have just gone out,” Mikey replied.
“Well I can see that, but I need his physical presence, not his belongings.”
It was now or never. I picked up the projector shell nearest me and banged it against the closet door. Someone shrieked and other people began to mutter. “What on earth is that?” Dr. Dante growled. I swear, he growled.
“Doc, it’s coming from the closet,” some girl from the front row said. Well she must have been in the front row if her voice was that near. I raised the case to swing it against the door again, just before I heard the latch click. I had just enough time to put the case down before the door opened and I was looking right in the face of Dr. Dante.
He recognized me instantly. “What are you doing in there, Claude?”
I could hear everyone laughing, though I was pretty sure that at least Fran and Mikey were staring in shock. “I got stuck in here, Sir,” I managed to say.
“Stuck doing....” Dr. Dante said, wrinkling his nose. “What, you were having lunch here?” he asked, reaching for the now not-so-nice smelling can of noodles and tossing the entire thing into a trashcan. “Come out of that closet this instant!”
Of course the laughter just grew louder. I really could not bring myself to look anyone in the eye as I slunk to where I had left my things. “Sorry about that, buddy,” Mikey said as I sat down.
I had half a mind to punch his lights out, but I could see that he had been genuinely worried. “Well at least I won’t be marked absent,” I said.
“After all of that, and it’s all you can think of, you goofball?” Fran asked, reaching over to ruffle my hair.
Suddenly I heard Dr. Dante clear his throat. “You aren’t out of the woods yet, Claude.”
I had to get to my feet. “Yes Sir?”
“I trust that you were able to....listen to the report from where you were?” One eyebrow of his was raised as he gestured to the slide presentation. “Now can you comment on the salient signs of the patient in this case?”
Well so much for that! Out of the frying pan and into the fire!