today
today was a pretty good day, woke up at about 9:30 to my alarm going off. lol was supposed to wake up at 10 so i could go with jesse's brother to get a new tire for my truck, needless to say that plan fell thru. i turned my alarm off and dident wake up tell around 11. but its ok because neither did he lol but we got everything settled and i got my new truck now, its a pretty blue once you get it all shined up. i think all in all i got a really good deal, i got a little mad at someone today for hanging up on me twice today but considering she is going through alot more harsh times than me right now i suppose i will have to let it slide even though it really did hurt my feelings, but ohwell who gives a flying flip about my feelings anyways, i dont think that even i do anymore really. uhg i know every single thing i post is a depression trip, but you know what its my fucking life. when im standing infront of you its not like you can really tell that im feeling that way anyways, you say you care about me but you people will never look me in the eyes, you never understand what i am going through, no matter how hard i try to explain it to you. im lonly, very very lonly and i am that way for a good reason,im that way all the time because that is all i know, no i wasent always alone but i was for a long long time, im emotionally damaged and it hurts. how could i possibly convey my feelings of pain to you. there is just so much there and in all the time in the world i couldent put that shit on paper, but still i try and try again because i pray and hope that one day someone will read this and come and save me from this hell that i am liviing in. please someone come and save me