Bludgeoning the masses...
Well, maybe once a month is too long to wait and update this. Once a week I can deal with... as long as my head is not exploding from school type stuffs.
I swear, the longer I am around Lenny, the more I speak and type like him. We're not turning into that kind of couple are we? I guess it's not too bad... at least he has half way decent grammar and the ability to TYPE complete sentences. Speaking them- well, that is another story.
Graduation is on May 9th. My senior show is in April, from the 13th - 17th. Our reception is that Tuesday, the 14th.
I AM NOT READY.
I know I have two whole months to prepare, shoot, print and frame- but I am absolutely terrified that everything will fail. I mean, this is my SENIOR SHOW. People who are not in the art department have no idea the pressure I'm under. Music majors are the only ones who can come close, they at least have to have a senior recital. This is what determines if I graduate or not. If my show is a flop, then I have essentially wasted 6 years of my life to try and get my BFA... and for what? To have to stay here another semester just to do the show over again until it is good enough.
*sigh* I know, I know, my life doesn't end if my show isn't perfect, but it sure feels as though it would be. Goodness, I am so worried because after this show, I probably won't be an artist anymore. I will never get another chance to show work, sell work or do anything with my photography again. This show HAS to go well, not only the grade and degree depend upon it- but my pride does as well.
Anyway, what else?
Probably in late April/ early Mayish, we're going to move up to the Keyser area. My dad is trying to get some stuff floated Lenny's way and has offered me at least 30 hours a week working for his business. Answering phones, ordering parts, scheduling appointments, etc... I don't mind it. A-- they are going to let us live in one of their rental homes until our house is ready, and B-- his house will be in walking distance from ours, so walk to work!
I'll be near to my family and not have to worry about rent.
Let me type that again... it was awesome.
NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT RENT.
God--- that would be one less stress in my life. With a baby coming and student loans needing to be paid back, cutting $400 or so dollars off of our bills a month will be a BLESSING.
Speaking of baby type items-- first sonagram is on Thursday. Excited! We are 13 weeks now, and things seem to be going well. Except for the fact that I've lost a little over 10 pounds. I know now how a bullimic feels everyday. Vomiting is not my favorite daily activity, really.
I look like a gaunt, pale version of myself. The Dr. says it will get better, but damn, I'm starting NOT to believe him.
All to do now is keep my head down, stop being confrontational and bull headed with my professors, do my work, run my race and get the fuck out of here. GET DONE WITH THIS STUFF.
I'll miss the art world-- I thought I was getting better at it, thought I may have some talent. But the real world is calling, and the real world offers not many opportunities for me as a professional photographer in my hometown or otherwise. I am depressed about it, have cried and still do everyday, but I know that to support my family, to pay my bills-- well, I have to grow up and realize that it is and always will be just a dream.
*sigh*
I swear, the longer I am around Lenny, the more I speak and type like him. We're not turning into that kind of couple are we? I guess it's not too bad... at least he has half way decent grammar and the ability to TYPE complete sentences. Speaking them- well, that is another story.
Graduation is on May 9th. My senior show is in April, from the 13th - 17th. Our reception is that Tuesday, the 14th.
I AM NOT READY.
I know I have two whole months to prepare, shoot, print and frame- but I am absolutely terrified that everything will fail. I mean, this is my SENIOR SHOW. People who are not in the art department have no idea the pressure I'm under. Music majors are the only ones who can come close, they at least have to have a senior recital. This is what determines if I graduate or not. If my show is a flop, then I have essentially wasted 6 years of my life to try and get my BFA... and for what? To have to stay here another semester just to do the show over again until it is good enough.
*sigh* I know, I know, my life doesn't end if my show isn't perfect, but it sure feels as though it would be. Goodness, I am so worried because after this show, I probably won't be an artist anymore. I will never get another chance to show work, sell work or do anything with my photography again. This show HAS to go well, not only the grade and degree depend upon it- but my pride does as well.
Anyway, what else?
Probably in late April/ early Mayish, we're going to move up to the Keyser area. My dad is trying to get some stuff floated Lenny's way and has offered me at least 30 hours a week working for his business. Answering phones, ordering parts, scheduling appointments, etc... I don't mind it. A-- they are going to let us live in one of their rental homes until our house is ready, and B-- his house will be in walking distance from ours, so walk to work!
I'll be near to my family and not have to worry about rent.
Let me type that again... it was awesome.
NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT RENT.
God--- that would be one less stress in my life. With a baby coming and student loans needing to be paid back, cutting $400 or so dollars off of our bills a month will be a BLESSING.
Speaking of baby type items-- first sonagram is on Thursday. Excited! We are 13 weeks now, and things seem to be going well. Except for the fact that I've lost a little over 10 pounds. I know now how a bullimic feels everyday. Vomiting is not my favorite daily activity, really.
I look like a gaunt, pale version of myself. The Dr. says it will get better, but damn, I'm starting NOT to believe him.
All to do now is keep my head down, stop being confrontational and bull headed with my professors, do my work, run my race and get the fuck out of here. GET DONE WITH THIS STUFF.
I'll miss the art world-- I thought I was getting better at it, thought I may have some talent. But the real world is calling, and the real world offers not many opportunities for me as a professional photographer in my hometown or otherwise. I am depressed about it, have cried and still do everyday, but I know that to support my family, to pay my bills-- well, I have to grow up and realize that it is and always will be just a dream.
*sigh*