:(
So I went with my bf to see my ex today... man, that sucked. I went to give him his video game back, but as it turned out I never talked to him directly. I walked into the store and saw him, and my heart just broke. I wanted to scream and cry at him. I was so nervous, I wasn't sure if he'd come over to say hi or not. As it turned out he didn't, and kept right at his card game, so I didn't have to worry. His friend, whom I hate, came over and said hi and was nice, but I don't like him so I was polite enough. I ended up asking him to give the video game to my ex for me, and then I left. my bf stayed in the store but i got worried about missing our bus, so I went back in and tapped his shoulder and mentioned it to him. I know I wasn't supposed to talk to him, but I don't care anymore. My bf's not completely stupid. If he hasn't already heard something from his sister/one of his "friends" from high school, then he might've figured it out now. I don't really care though.
I want to call him a prick, but my heart's not in it. I just want the friendship back, I miss him. I miss having him there to laugh with and talk to, and hate that he's made this group of people his whole fucking life. Nothing matters to him except these people. And as much as I pity him for it, it makes me sad. Maybe I really was that bad of a girlfriend. Maybe I did make his life hell.
I think I'll finally be able to move on when I finally talk to him... there's still some things I want to know. Like whether he stopped caring a long time before he actually broke up with me. Whether or not he kept me around for the last few weeks for sex. Whether or not he loved me in the first place. Why he just gave up on me. Why he pushed me and his other friends out of his life for this new group of friends he knew (and has still known) for less than a year.
I'll write more later, this is enough for now. Sorry for being depressing, I just felt like ranting/venting somewhere besides just talking to my boyfriend. Tis nice to just do it anonymously sometimes I guess.
I want to call him a prick, but my heart's not in it. I just want the friendship back, I miss him. I miss having him there to laugh with and talk to, and hate that he's made this group of people his whole fucking life. Nothing matters to him except these people. And as much as I pity him for it, it makes me sad. Maybe I really was that bad of a girlfriend. Maybe I did make his life hell.
I think I'll finally be able to move on when I finally talk to him... there's still some things I want to know. Like whether he stopped caring a long time before he actually broke up with me. Whether or not he kept me around for the last few weeks for sex. Whether or not he loved me in the first place. Why he just gave up on me. Why he pushed me and his other friends out of his life for this new group of friends he knew (and has still known) for less than a year.
I'll write more later, this is enough for now. Sorry for being depressing, I just felt like ranting/venting somewhere besides just talking to my boyfriend. Tis nice to just do it anonymously sometimes I guess.