and this is how the story goes...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I am not even sure how to start this. I know I have no say in this situation, but I have a right to feel the way I do. I have a right to voice my opinion on this. I just have no one to voice it to. So you lucky few who actually still come here, you are the chosen ones. If you chose not to read it…I will be fine…this is more for me to vent than it is for anyone to respond.
I don’t know how many of you know this, but my brother is in the Air Force, he’s 23 and lives here in Vegas…not with me, but here. Well, for now anyway - I will get back to this in a while.
So back to my brother, he is also in his first real serious relationship and I am very happy for him that he found someone he loves as much as he loves her. Hell, even I like her. She is a really nice lady and well, she’s also older than I am…which by the way is almost 28. So there is an age difference there, but it doesn’t matter to them, the families, the friends or me.
They got together August of 2007, a month before he left for boot camp and his training. Six months he was gone. Six months they were forced to communicate via (snail) mail and phone calls…very limited phone calls. Six months she had to get used to the idea of him not always being there.
The whole family had six months to get used to this idea. I was already used to it. I have kind of distances myself from the family, so not seeing them as often helped me a lot. Plus, I grew up a military brat, I know the drill. I know how this works and what to expect.
So, six months go by and he gets stationed here at Nellis and I am thrilled because I get to have my baby brother back, right? The family is happy because he is close enough to drive down every once in a while. Girlfriend is happy because he is close enough to drive down and she is close enough to drive up. This was March 2008.
Cut scene to the weekend after Memorial Day - Brother finds out he is deploying to Iraq. Again, as I am far away from family and I know how this goes, I wasn’t in shock. I knew it would happen; I knew I needed to stay strong for the family. Family and Girlfriend did NOT take it so well. I was yelled at because I wasn’t scared, because I wasn’t showing any emotion at all about it.
Sure, it wasn’t something I ever wanted him to go through, but I knew it would happen eventually. I did cry about it, I did break down and I did say I would rather take his place there than to have him go over, but I was still strong for him.
Again, cut to Father’s day weekend. Brother and I made plans with my step mom to sneak attack my dad at Sea World. Give my dad a day with all four of his kids and his wife. Girlfriend was pleased because this meant she would get to see Brother yet again…by this time he had gone down every other weekend since March.
On the Friday before Father’s day, Brother picked me up from work, like planned and we started on the way to my house. I asked him why; we were supposed to have just gotten on the road to San Diego. So going out of the way to go back to my house was not in the plan. He told me that he wasn’t sure that he wanted to go down there that weekend. I asked why and he just sad that he was having a really shitty day and that he didn’t really have the money to go down there. I told him that I was fine with that and I even was mentally coming up with something that he and I could do here in town.
So, we end up back at my place and he is on the phone with Girlfriend. He is trying to explain to her why he doesn’t want to go down there. All valid points might I add. He keeps asking her to just try and understand his reasons. For an hour - a freaking HOUR - he is trying to get his points across, but all she can hear is that he just doesn’t want to see her this weekend.
Hold up, wait a minute. This weekend was supposed to be about my dad, not her. Right? Okay at least we agree on that.
After an hour of him trying, he finally gives up and we drive down to San Diego. That was the day I started losing respect for her. That was the day she stopped earning points.
Another thing you should know, she had only come up to Vegas twice prior to this weekend. So in three months he had gone down there to San Diego five times and she had come up twice.
Weekend goes well, she comes to Sea World with us, not my choice, but I am not going to say a thing to him because I know him and I know that will only push him towards her more.
His visits become more frequent now because he thinks he is going to Iraq. Every weekend…back and forth, $100 in gas money every time, 8 hours round trip in a car. She never once coming up here to see him.
It is now, three weeks before he is scheduled to leave and train for six weeks before going to Iraq. He takes two weeks off and goes to San Diego. I should also note that he had yet to tell our mother, our BIOLOGICAL, worry-wart mother. I told him he had to do while he was there, that she deserved the same respect hat my father got and he couldn’t do it over the phone. He agreed.
He didn’t tell her.
He stayed with Girlfriend the whole two weeks and saw my dad and step mom twice and my mother twice. In two weeks. Two weeks before he was deployed for SIX MONTHS. And Girlfriend let him do it, because nothing else should matter to him but her.
More points lost.
The weekend he was to leave for training, I was on vacation, he asked me if Girlfriend and he could stay at my place. I said okay because I know he loves her and I know that even if I had said No, he would have still had her there. Why fight it?
This is where things get a little messy. I don’t know all of the exact details, but I know that it was the last night and he and she were talking and he got angry and upset because he was hurting everyone around him and she was there crying in front of him and he hit something.
He had broken his hand.
No more Iraq.
Happy Girlfriend.
Points lost.
Cut to Labor Day weekend and many more points lost. My brother and I decided to go to San Diego. Turns out my dad and step mom were going out of town which left the house to us…well me because Brother was staying with Girlfriend. I don’t know what it is about her and my family, but they make her awkward. My parents weren’t even at the house and she acted all out of place. If this is supposed to be something serious, I think she had better start making some kind of effort to fitting in.
Without getting into too many details Brother and I had a semi-fight. My grandmother was coming down on Labor Day with food for lunch and Brother had told her that he would be there. Come lunchtime I call him and ask him where he is and he says him and Girlfriend are about to go get lunch and then hang out before he comes to the house. Needless to say I was pissed because I have no doubt in my mind it was her idea and I know now that it was. My brother would have stood up for himself had it been his idea, he didn’t say a word. We drove him in silence. I didn’t talk to him for two weeks.
This past Friday, I texted him and asked him what he was doing this weekend. Conversation went a little like this:
Bro: Going to SD
Me: Why? I thought you were “broke?”
B: To see Girlfriend.
M: Whatever.
B: What’s your problem?
M: She is my problem. You think that sun rises out of her God Damned ass.
B: At least I am with someone who wants to be with me and not with someone who will never be with me, like JT. (NOTE…huh??? JT? He really thinks I think I will be with him. I am not that delusional.)
M: If you think that hurt, you are mistaken. You are acting like a pussy whipped little boy. (NOTE…I HATE the “p” word I used. HATE).
M: It isn’t attractive.
B: I don’t get it. Am I doing something wrong?
M: You are alienating yourself from the family. But that is your choice.
B: You right it is my choice. Why should I listen to you, you have never been in a real relationship.
M: You know nothing about my life.
B: And you know nothing about mine.
M: I know you go down there more than she comes here. You give, she takes. What more is there to know?
B: It’s cheaper this way and less traffic and if I want to see the family I can.
M: It costs you $100 every time you go down there - times that by 20. $2000. Yes, it’s cheaper - for her. And traffic is a lame excuse. If she wanted to see you, she would.
B: So, what, you don’t like her?
M: I like her - I just don’t like what she is doing to you.
And that was that. I didn’t talk to him all weekend and he didn’t talk to me. I felt bad telling him all of this…out of the blue to him - not so much for me…right before he was going to see her. But I think I had the right to let him know how I felt. I know if I were him, I would want him to tell me.
He didn’t tell her any of this and that pisses me off more that I can actually say. I wanted her to know and see what she was doing to him and I wanted him to see as well. Oh I forgot to mention that one of the times she came up, he paid for her hotel room with his stimulus check. What you ask did she do with hers? She spent it on herself.
Wednesday is my standing date with Brother and last night was no different (we missed last week because he had something to do). We went to dinner and he dropped the bomb on me. It was like a blow to the gut and he was happy about it. I couldn’t even talk the rest of the night…and if you couldn’t tell by this blog, I LOVE to talk and rarely shut up.
The Air Force is processing his out papers as you read. He will be out of the AF within 90 days and then he will move back to San Diego.
With her.
It pisses me off because he was fine with going into the military before he met her and he was fine until he saw her. She has made him into a male version of a Stepford wife and that makes me sick.
In time I know he will get tired of her. She is the girl we all know; the one who has to have all the attention and who doesn’t like it if the attention is focused elsewhere. She is the girl who always has a boyfriend and doesn’t really know what it’s like to stand on her own without someone there for her. She is a weak girl living in a grown world. I feel sorry for her.
And now that I have babbled on long enough, I feel better having got that out. Again, I don’t expect for anyone to reply. More than anything this was my form of therapy. My release.
I am not even sure how to start this. I know I have no say in this situation, but I have a right to feel the way I do. I have a right to voice my opinion on this. I just have no one to voice it to. So you lucky few who actually still come here, you are the chosen ones. If you chose not to read it…I will be fine…this is more for me to vent than it is for anyone to respond.
I don’t know how many of you know this, but my brother is in the Air Force, he’s 23 and lives here in Vegas…not with me, but here. Well, for now anyway - I will get back to this in a while.
So back to my brother, he is also in his first real serious relationship and I am very happy for him that he found someone he loves as much as he loves her. Hell, even I like her. She is a really nice lady and well, she’s also older than I am…which by the way is almost 28. So there is an age difference there, but it doesn’t matter to them, the families, the friends or me.
They got together August of 2007, a month before he left for boot camp and his training. Six months he was gone. Six months they were forced to communicate via (snail) mail and phone calls…very limited phone calls. Six months she had to get used to the idea of him not always being there.
The whole family had six months to get used to this idea. I was already used to it. I have kind of distances myself from the family, so not seeing them as often helped me a lot. Plus, I grew up a military brat, I know the drill. I know how this works and what to expect.
So, six months go by and he gets stationed here at Nellis and I am thrilled because I get to have my baby brother back, right? The family is happy because he is close enough to drive down every once in a while. Girlfriend is happy because he is close enough to drive down and she is close enough to drive up. This was March 2008.
Cut scene to the weekend after Memorial Day - Brother finds out he is deploying to Iraq. Again, as I am far away from family and I know how this goes, I wasn’t in shock. I knew it would happen; I knew I needed to stay strong for the family. Family and Girlfriend did NOT take it so well. I was yelled at because I wasn’t scared, because I wasn’t showing any emotion at all about it.
Sure, it wasn’t something I ever wanted him to go through, but I knew it would happen eventually. I did cry about it, I did break down and I did say I would rather take his place there than to have him go over, but I was still strong for him.
Again, cut to Father’s day weekend. Brother and I made plans with my step mom to sneak attack my dad at Sea World. Give my dad a day with all four of his kids and his wife. Girlfriend was pleased because this meant she would get to see Brother yet again…by this time he had gone down every other weekend since March.
On the Friday before Father’s day, Brother picked me up from work, like planned and we started on the way to my house. I asked him why; we were supposed to have just gotten on the road to San Diego. So going out of the way to go back to my house was not in the plan. He told me that he wasn’t sure that he wanted to go down there that weekend. I asked why and he just sad that he was having a really shitty day and that he didn’t really have the money to go down there. I told him that I was fine with that and I even was mentally coming up with something that he and I could do here in town.
So, we end up back at my place and he is on the phone with Girlfriend. He is trying to explain to her why he doesn’t want to go down there. All valid points might I add. He keeps asking her to just try and understand his reasons. For an hour - a freaking HOUR - he is trying to get his points across, but all she can hear is that he just doesn’t want to see her this weekend.
Hold up, wait a minute. This weekend was supposed to be about my dad, not her. Right? Okay at least we agree on that.
After an hour of him trying, he finally gives up and we drive down to San Diego. That was the day I started losing respect for her. That was the day she stopped earning points.
Another thing you should know, she had only come up to Vegas twice prior to this weekend. So in three months he had gone down there to San Diego five times and she had come up twice.
Weekend goes well, she comes to Sea World with us, not my choice, but I am not going to say a thing to him because I know him and I know that will only push him towards her more.
His visits become more frequent now because he thinks he is going to Iraq. Every weekend…back and forth, $100 in gas money every time, 8 hours round trip in a car. She never once coming up here to see him.
It is now, three weeks before he is scheduled to leave and train for six weeks before going to Iraq. He takes two weeks off and goes to San Diego. I should also note that he had yet to tell our mother, our BIOLOGICAL, worry-wart mother. I told him he had to do while he was there, that she deserved the same respect hat my father got and he couldn’t do it over the phone. He agreed.
He didn’t tell her.
He stayed with Girlfriend the whole two weeks and saw my dad and step mom twice and my mother twice. In two weeks. Two weeks before he was deployed for SIX MONTHS. And Girlfriend let him do it, because nothing else should matter to him but her.
More points lost.
The weekend he was to leave for training, I was on vacation, he asked me if Girlfriend and he could stay at my place. I said okay because I know he loves her and I know that even if I had said No, he would have still had her there. Why fight it?
This is where things get a little messy. I don’t know all of the exact details, but I know that it was the last night and he and she were talking and he got angry and upset because he was hurting everyone around him and she was there crying in front of him and he hit something.
He had broken his hand.
No more Iraq.
Happy Girlfriend.
Points lost.
Cut to Labor Day weekend and many more points lost. My brother and I decided to go to San Diego. Turns out my dad and step mom were going out of town which left the house to us…well me because Brother was staying with Girlfriend. I don’t know what it is about her and my family, but they make her awkward. My parents weren’t even at the house and she acted all out of place. If this is supposed to be something serious, I think she had better start making some kind of effort to fitting in.
Without getting into too many details Brother and I had a semi-fight. My grandmother was coming down on Labor Day with food for lunch and Brother had told her that he would be there. Come lunchtime I call him and ask him where he is and he says him and Girlfriend are about to go get lunch and then hang out before he comes to the house. Needless to say I was pissed because I have no doubt in my mind it was her idea and I know now that it was. My brother would have stood up for himself had it been his idea, he didn’t say a word. We drove him in silence. I didn’t talk to him for two weeks.
This past Friday, I texted him and asked him what he was doing this weekend. Conversation went a little like this:
Bro: Going to SD
Me: Why? I thought you were “broke?”
B: To see Girlfriend.
M: Whatever.
B: What’s your problem?
M: She is my problem. You think that sun rises out of her God Damned ass.
B: At least I am with someone who wants to be with me and not with someone who will never be with me, like JT. (NOTE…huh??? JT? He really thinks I think I will be with him. I am not that delusional.)
M: If you think that hurt, you are mistaken. You are acting like a pussy whipped little boy. (NOTE…I HATE the “p” word I used. HATE).
M: It isn’t attractive.
B: I don’t get it. Am I doing something wrong?
M: You are alienating yourself from the family. But that is your choice.
B: You right it is my choice. Why should I listen to you, you have never been in a real relationship.
M: You know nothing about my life.
B: And you know nothing about mine.
M: I know you go down there more than she comes here. You give, she takes. What more is there to know?
B: It’s cheaper this way and less traffic and if I want to see the family I can.
M: It costs you $100 every time you go down there - times that by 20. $2000. Yes, it’s cheaper - for her. And traffic is a lame excuse. If she wanted to see you, she would.
B: So, what, you don’t like her?
M: I like her - I just don’t like what she is doing to you.
And that was that. I didn’t talk to him all weekend and he didn’t talk to me. I felt bad telling him all of this…out of the blue to him - not so much for me…right before he was going to see her. But I think I had the right to let him know how I felt. I know if I were him, I would want him to tell me.
He didn’t tell her any of this and that pisses me off more that I can actually say. I wanted her to know and see what she was doing to him and I wanted him to see as well. Oh I forgot to mention that one of the times she came up, he paid for her hotel room with his stimulus check. What you ask did she do with hers? She spent it on herself.
Wednesday is my standing date with Brother and last night was no different (we missed last week because he had something to do). We went to dinner and he dropped the bomb on me. It was like a blow to the gut and he was happy about it. I couldn’t even talk the rest of the night…and if you couldn’t tell by this blog, I LOVE to talk and rarely shut up.
The Air Force is processing his out papers as you read. He will be out of the AF within 90 days and then he will move back to San Diego.
With her.
It pisses me off because he was fine with going into the military before he met her and he was fine until he saw her. She has made him into a male version of a Stepford wife and that makes me sick.
In time I know he will get tired of her. She is the girl we all know; the one who has to have all the attention and who doesn’t like it if the attention is focused elsewhere. She is the girl who always has a boyfriend and doesn’t really know what it’s like to stand on her own without someone there for her. She is a weak girl living in a grown world. I feel sorry for her.
And now that I have babbled on long enough, I feel better having got that out. Again, I don’t expect for anyone to reply. More than anything this was my form of therapy. My release.