Epitaph of my sanity and life.
All this seclusion and passed school life has made me turn a blind eye to the reality behind the narcissistic ideality. I've shrouded in between my own thoughts and this bright screen (which I'm watching even right now) so I've falsely gained information on the gruesome reality. As I believe, Sherlock Holmes (or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) says "No data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgment." But a human fails to gain the holistic approach on some fact or occasion without proper practice and theoretical understanding.
I'm not great, not a hero, not even an outstanding person. I'm... a mediocre. I try, but yet usually fail to gain all the information and understanding. And as my physical fitness and instincts aren't the best sides of me, I have nothing to go on. But trying is all I have, and obviously I aren't trying hard enough. I've managed to understand that for me practice and concentrated routine is the key to achieve something. I'm no prodigy, just an ordinary person. I don't wish anyone to call me a genius, because I aren't one. I'm just a human, with my faults, successes and attributes. People hardly change, not at least without proper instinctive training.
Other note I've recently made is that in the end, all a man/woman cares about is him or herself. Though people say that they work for sheer sincerity, it gives one satisfaction for doing it, so they feel that they are better than someone else. It's a world of mental hierarchy, where enemies are treated like crap and friends and loved ones are used as pawns. We all are born equal, but due to our genes and herital position, end up different from each other. However our primary state of mind stays the same, almost as humane.
I don't believe that I used english today to make a point, or to show that I'm miserable. I used it because... it makes an impact. English is far more dramatic language than finnish, and also somehow critical and metaphysical.
I'm not sure if my train of thought is rippled somehow or contradicts itself, but that's how human works, hypocritically and selfishly.
I'm not great, not a hero, not even an outstanding person. I'm... a mediocre. I try, but yet usually fail to gain all the information and understanding. And as my physical fitness and instincts aren't the best sides of me, I have nothing to go on. But trying is all I have, and obviously I aren't trying hard enough. I've managed to understand that for me practice and concentrated routine is the key to achieve something. I'm no prodigy, just an ordinary person. I don't wish anyone to call me a genius, because I aren't one. I'm just a human, with my faults, successes and attributes. People hardly change, not at least without proper instinctive training.
Other note I've recently made is that in the end, all a man/woman cares about is him or herself. Though people say that they work for sheer sincerity, it gives one satisfaction for doing it, so they feel that they are better than someone else. It's a world of mental hierarchy, where enemies are treated like crap and friends and loved ones are used as pawns. We all are born equal, but due to our genes and herital position, end up different from each other. However our primary state of mind stays the same, almost as humane.
I don't believe that I used english today to make a point, or to show that I'm miserable. I used it because... it makes an impact. English is far more dramatic language than finnish, and also somehow critical and metaphysical.
I'm not sure if my train of thought is rippled somehow or contradicts itself, but that's how human works, hypocritically and selfishly.