Ode to Reese
This is to my fried, Reese because she needs to hear this...
I'm tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality! Here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ass who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6 .When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask? Because, you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
I'm tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality! Here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ass who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6 .When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask? Because, you are my friend.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.