{bangtan; taehyung/jeongguk} bruises only make me want it more
bruises only make me want it more
taehyung/jeongguk // nc-17 // ~4.6k // mild bruises kink
Taehyung can't seem to turn away from Jeongguk's touch. Jeongguk finding out about his new...thing doesn't help his case.
In the old dorm, it always took the water heater a few minutes to rumble to life, but the shower in their new dorm building heats quick, almost scalding Taehyung's skin when he steps into the spray. His fingers fumble as he hastens to adjust the temperature to something more bearable. Every limb feels clumsy with fatigue, weighed down. Taehyung tips his head back and lets the hot water beat down against his body for a long moment.
The postponed comeback allowed Namjoon and Yoongi hyung much-needed time to finesse the composition of their upcoming album, but Taehyung can tell the resulting time crunch has already begun to take its toll on everyone - the recording and photoshoot sessions of comeback preparation overlapping with Son Ahmunim's increasingly ambitious choreographies for end-of-year award shows and Gayo Daejun stages. Winning Best Male Dance Performance at the Melon Music Awards had been immensely bolstering, but right now, fresh after a dance practice that verged on three hours, Taehyung feels so far from the glamor of red carpets. Right now, he mostly feels drained, tired of seeing his own reflection in the wall-length mirrors and exhausted enough to knock out the second his head hits the pillow.
It's not all work and no play, though. Naver V App filmings are some of his favorite schedules as of late, precious chances to forget about everything outside of the studio and shout song name guesses on the tops of his lungs. When they found out about their outdoor paintballing episode, Taehyung had seized Jimin and practically squeezed the breath out of him in excitement; he'd never been paintballing before, never even seen or held a paintball gun before, but the challenge sounded exciting, breaking the drone of between-promotion schedules.
Tension melting from his shoulders under the superior water pressure of the new shower, Taehyung stretches and reaches for the shampoo. A round, paintball bullet-shaped bruise on his arm twinges painfully when the water hits it, and he hisses under his breath and reflexively pulls his arm in towards his side. The dollop of shampoo in his palm nearly spills, and he hastens to get it to his hair instead of the shower floor.
Two days after filming, and the worst of his bruises have only begun fading from purple, others more so resembling yellow and green. Unlike Yoongi hyung, who sported some rather splotchy bruises down the left side of his back and not for lack of complaining, Taehyung managed to escape most of the open fire from behind. Hoseok hyung had gotten hit close enough that one of the bullets split the skin slightly on his upper arm, which had been tended to by a faintly disapproving coordi noona the next day when they'd gone in for styling. When she'd asked Taehyung if he needed any light medical attention, he'd refused, face flushing self-consciously, traitorously.
It wasn't like this was the first time he'd gotten a bruise. He had his share of childhood scrapes and wounds. There's just always been something about touching them, the blooms of healing wounds under his skin, pressing down and inhaling sharp at the corresponding ache.
These ones are recent enough that they still hurt when Taehyung soaps himself down - a couple of quick pangs of pain along his arms, one on the side where he'd gotten hit just an inch away from the protective vest, and a particularly sensitive one at the top of his right thigh. Someone had caught him close enough that it still hurt, vividly, enough that he was absently rubbing at the mark through his sweatpants when the cameras were still rolling, and for Jimin to catch him. Now, under the gradually cooling shower spray, Taehyung smooths his thumb over the bruise again and shudders, heat rushing south.
"Taehyung-ah! Hurry up, you've been in there forever!" he hears from outside the bathroom faintly, recognizing the voice and passing footsteps of Hobeom hyung.
"Okay," he calls back, snatching his hand back from his thigh as if he'd been caught. He makes quick work of the shower after that, rinsing off the last remains of soapy lather and shutting off the water. Thankfully, he was last to shower out of the group, with no one to protest at him using up what was probably an entire water heater tank.
By the time Taehyung finally steps out, the steam has rolled out of the shower into the rest of the bathroom, fogging up the mirror. He's caught Jimin mugging at his reflection post-shower before, and teased him mercilessly for it, but now he reaches out and wipes off the condensation until he can see himself. Hair soaked to his head and dripping down his neck and torso, flushing high in his cheeks from the heat - and more. There's a small, circular bruise on his left upper arm and he can't help but prod at it, worrying it beneath his fingertips. Doing so brings the heat back, liquid, drawn down through his veins and pooling in the pit of his stomach nicely. Maybe too nicely.
He's so absorbed, the knock on the bathroom door catches him by surprise and Taehyung yelps, hurriedly wrapping a towel around his waist and grabbing another one to occupy in drying his hair. "Who is it?"
"Hyung, it's me."
It's Jeongguk. Sometimes Taehyung doesn't know how the entire world has yet to discover this - this thing growing quiet and private between them, the way his blush burns up to the tips of his ears at the sound of Jeongguk's voice, the collection of graphic memories that Taehyung has to try very hard to keep locked up in the back of his mind when they're on air. He can usually keep it cool under the public eye, but caught simultaneously relaxed and unwound from his shower, Taehyung's body is all honesty.
"I'm almost done," he says through the door, even though he knows Jeongguk didn't just come to take a piss. They have enough bathrooms in their new building to deal with that.
"Hyung," Jeongguk says again, and Taehyung can already see the expression on his face, the impatience and anticipation as he chews at his lower lip. That's all he has to say.
Ever conscious of their groupmates and managers in the dorm with them, mere thin-walled rooms away, Taehyung cracks the bathroom door wide enough to see Jeongguk standing there, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Jeongguk squeezes in quick, shutting the door behind him and locking it with a finality that has Taehyung shivering in expectation.
It's late, they've had a long day, and Taehyung still thinks Jeongguk looks good, in his backwards snapback and tank top and boxer shorts. Makeup removed hours ago, but Taehyung likes the pimple coming in on his cheek; it makes him feel more real, right here in front of him. On his part, Jeongguk doesn't seem to mind much that Taehyung is still damp, arms coming up around Taehyung's waist when Taehyung steps into his space.
"Hey," Taehyung says, smiling a little when Jeongguk has to tip his head back to meet his eyes and looking no more pleased about it. When he'd posted to the fancafe about his recent height growth spurt, Jeongguk had complained, crushing Taehyung against the couch where Taehyung had been on his laptop until Taehyung called for mercy between peals of laughter. Since then, he can tell it's been a bit of a sore spot for Jeongguk, bristling whenever Yoongi hyung asks, smirking, if the maknae's been working out too much to grow taller.
"Hey," Jeongguk replies. He doesn't say anything more, just stands there holding Taehyung lightly, and he doesn't move to stop him when Taehyung reaches up to take off Jeongguk's snapback and put it down on the cramped bathroom countertop behind him. His bangs fall over his forehead, making him look rather young for a heartbeat, and then Taehyung is brushing his hair out of his face as Jeongguk stretches up, bringing their mouths together.
Taehyung groans softly into the kiss, trying to be mindful of the fact that only one door, three thin walls, separates from the very people they've been trying to keep this a secret from. One door and three walls away from the rest of the world. It's hard, though, the way Jeongguk kisses him like he's been waiting to do it all day, with that single-minded focus he brings to his vocal lessons, his songwriting. Like he's trying to write every draft of his compositions into Taehyung's skin with the efforts of his lips and hands alone.
The first time Jeongguk kissed him hadn't seemed to be part of the plan at all, something so spontaneous and unmeditated about it. Just another winter day, coming back from the jimjilbang together with the lingering warmth of the baths keeping them comfortable against the Seoul winter. That coziness had been quickly dispelled by the snowball fight that soon ensued, Jeongguk shoving snow down the back of Taehyung's jacket so he yelped at the ice dispelling that very warmth. He'd gotten him back with a snowball straight to the face, Jeongguk halting his snowball making operations to spit a mouthful of snow to the side.
It had all come to head, Taehyung's ribs aching from laughing so hard, when Jeongguk plowed him into a snowbank and they'd tussled, trying to catch their breaths through the mirth. Jeongguk managed to pin Taehyung down beneath him and Taehyung could starkly feel the fabric of his beanie getting soaked - how he'd managed to keep it on his head, he had no idea, especially with Jeongguk's gone from sight - and Taehyung was left staring up into his face, the only sound between them their gasping breaths. Jeongguk's expression was unreadable, a rarity between them. In that moment, it felt like they were the only two people in a world of white, newly fallen snow.
And then Jeongguk had leaned down, pressed their mouths together with a tenderness that seemed almost too much for Taehyung's body to receive, to contain. Tenderness Taehyung hadn't even realized was possible, from the Jeongguk who'd always tried to keep his feelings down, hidden, caged in against his chest.
When he pulled back, Taehyung blinked up at him; the spell holding them together had broken and suddenly he wondered whether he'd imagined it, the feeling of Jeongguk's lips on his, inexperienced but sincere. But then he'd looked into Jeongguk's face, the sudden doubt tempering the hopeful expression Taehyung wanted to see, and he surged up to kiss Jeongguk again before nudging him up to his feet. "Let's go find your beanie," he'd said, unsure whether the blush high on his cheeks was entirely because of the cold.
That was winter, when most of the members had gone home to see their holidays and Taehyung and Jeongguk had found a day to themselves and taken it. In retrospect, Taehyung wondered how long Jeongguk had been waiting for that window of opportunity, and whether it had been a one-time thing. Just a happy coincidence. But a couple of promotion cycles and a worldwide concert tour later, watching Jeongguk mature and bulk up in front of his very eyes, Taehyung's not so sure. Jeongguk still lingers at Taehyung's side like he's not completely sure if he's allowed to touch, then takes greedily when Taehyung opens up to him. (Personally, Taehyung's can't say they got away completely innocent from TRB in Sao Pablo, Seokjin hyung walking into what they'd thought would be a safely empty changing room to grab his pink cell phone. But he hasn't mentioned anything since, definitely not about Taehyung and Jeongguk making out after the concert, so Jeongguk seems to think everything's fine. Taehyung, for his part, tries not to worry too much about it.)
Then two days ago, during the Naver V App filming, they'd done their handshake on air for the first time and Taehyung had felt vulnerable for some reason, unable to meet Jeongguk's eyes properly. He never quite stopped marveling at the way their hands just came together, intertwining, without missing a beat. Muscle memory was ingrained so deeply Taehyung barely needed to look at the movement of their hands. They fit together so easily, and Taehyung has come to count it on before concerts, while training, and evidently before rounds of paintball, too.
Jeongguk mumbles something, more for the sound than the words, and one of his hands leaves Taehyung's waist to tilt his face for a deeper angle, a deeper kiss. The touch on his chin, with a confidence they definitely didn't see months ago, has Taehyung shuddering, Jeongguk coaxing his mouth open with a gentle nip to his lower lip. Taehyung obliges, of course, and Jeongguk lets his hand drop to Taehyung's arm, smoothing down the length of his bicep.
It isn't even that much pressure. Jeongguk's thumb brushes against the bruise left there by the paintball bullet, and Taehyung can't help the whimper he presses against Jeongguk's mouth. It sounds desperate, even to his own ears, and Taehyung starts to pull back self-consciously.
"Wait, wait, hyung," Jeongguk says, catching onto Taehyung before he can withdraw any farther, and a proper glance into his face collects the rosebud of his kiss-swollen mouth and dark, blown pupils. Taehyung is suddenly very aware of the fact he's only dressed in a towel. "What was that?"
"Um," Taehyung says, but Jeongguk strokes the skin in his arm with the same thumb in an obvious attempt to soothe but instead Taehyung's breath catches. He's trying to resist grabbing Jeongguk's wrist to stop him, it'd be so obvious if he did, and yet he thinks it might be dawning on Jeongguk already, his eyes following the path of his own touch.
"You're into that?" Jeongguk asks. His gaze flicks to Taehyung, who nods slowly, and this time he presses against the bruise with proper intent and Taehyung has to swallow down another moan. Jeongguk, obviously, doesn't miss a thing, and crowds into Taehyung's space to run his fingers over Taehyung's skin, exploring, the look in his eyes quietly victorious when he finds another circular bruise.
The beginning stirrings of interest from the shower are back in earnest, and the way Jeongguk rubs his fingertips against the bruises, tentative and careful, is more like a caress than anything. Taehyung exhales harshly and tugs at Jeongguk's tank top, trying to even the playing field. "Off, Jeongguk, please," he stutters out, and slumps against the bathroom counter as Jeongguk stops long enough to strip off his shirt. It'd just be his luck to develop new erogenous zones from playing paintball - but Taehyung's not complaining.
If anything, he gets to enjoy the show as the muscles Jeongguk works at so tirelessly tense and stretch as he tugs the shirt over his head. With their comeback imminent, Jeongguk's upped his training regime relentlessly, replacing parts of his diet with protein shakes (Taehyung's never been able to understand how Jimin and Jeongguk can stand drinking those things). He's grateful when Jeongguk kisses him again, abandoning the bruises for the familiar but no less effective territory of Taehyung's nipples. This he knows, as well as the path Jeongguk kisses wetly down his throat and chest, except for the detour to the bruise on his side where Taehyung learns firsthand how it feels to have one of his bruises licked.
Good. Very good.
"Ah, shit, Jeongguk," he breathes as Jeongguk sinks to his knees, eyes determined and intense as he looked up at Taehyung's face. With no way to mistake his intent, Taehyung can only nod weakly when Jeongguk curls his fingers into the already slipping towel Taehyung had around his waist. He's already half-hard, at least in part from Jeongguk touching his bruises no doubt, but that's quick to change when Jeongguk discovers the bruise on his thigh.
"Pretty," Jeongguk murmurs, worrying at the bruise with a finger and smiling when Taehyung's hips jump, smug like the cat that got the cream. Taehyung's never thought of it as pretty, per se, but the point of contention fades as Jeongguk takes Taehyung's cock into his mouth.
Jeongguk tongues at the head before properly taking as much as he can of Taehyung's length into his mouth, which admittedly isn't much or all of it, but he's improved leagues since the first time he tried to blow Taehyung and nearly choked, which would've been very difficult to explain during their next vocal lessons. Now he takes a breath in through his nose, tracing the vein on the underside with the flat of his tongue, and slides down farther. Taehyung tips his head back and groans out all the curses he knows, almost forgetting to keep it down because what does it matter in comparison to the heat, the wet suction around his cock. "You - You're so - " he chokes out when Jeongguk pulls off to take a breath.
"Great? Amazing?" Jeongguk asks cheekily, sitting back on his heels for a moment. Taehyung can see he's hard, the outline of his erection visible in the fabric of his boxers, and wishes wildly that they weren't in the goddamn bathroom so he could get his mouth on that, too.
"You drive me crazy," Taehyung tries to say, but Jeongguk's returned himself to the task at hand and the rest of Taehyung's sentence ends up garbled. Adrenaline had burned fast in his veins during the paintball game itself, Taehyung hurling himself behind trees and into gullies to dodge the incoming fire, but arousal sets in with a slow but deliberate sense of purpose that has Taehyung muffling his moans against his arm as he rocks into Jeongguk's mouth.
Jeongguk allows it for a few thrusts before pinning Taehyung's hips back against the bathroom counter with a firm forearm, the handle of one of the drawers digging into the back of Taehyung's thigh but he hardly pays it any mind when Jeongguk is swallowing him down to the best of his ability. And his ability has gotten pretty damn high, Taehyung thinks shakily, as Jeongguk looks up through his messily strewn bangs to meet Taehyung's eyes, like he knows.
"I'm close," he gasps out, voice hushed, and somehow it takes him completely by surprise when Jeongguk doubles his efforts just as he draws his fingers again across the purpling bruise on Taehyung's thighs. There's no way he can offer any other warning, just squeezes his eyes closed against the force of his climax and opens them slowly, dazedly, to Jeongguk sputtering and standing to lean around Taehyung to spit out the come in his mouth into the sink.
Dreamy and limber, Taehyung lets Jeongguk rearrange him to the side slightly so he has the chance to turn on the tap, rinsing the evidence down the drain and gargling quickly too. When Jeongguk kisses him again, the taste of his own come is faint but there, definitely still there, and part of Taehyung is into that, too. The way Jeongguk tastes like him.
Jeongguk draws Taehyung back against his body again, and it's quiet for a moment, Jeongguk clearly waiting for Taehyung to recollect himself. "Good?" he asks, as Taehyung nuzzles against Jeongguk's bare shoulder. Even though he knows Jeongguk tends to sleep without his shirt on, having the free reign to touch and feel is undoubtedly better. He's so used to not looking, not touching - he has to be.
"Yeah, good," Taehyung says faintly, kissing Jeongguk's throat before tipping his face up for a proper kiss. Jeongguk indulges him, as always. For a moment, he can imagine them back in the snowbank, that feeling of being the only two people in the world.
There's something too gentle about this kiss, the same touch of intimacy that scared him the very first time around. Jeongguk doesn't protest when Taehyung presses closer against him, hands coming up to Jeongguk's neck, fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. He pushes them into something hungrier and Jeongguk, never one to back down from a challenge, matches him with tooth and tongue. Something about Jeongguk's tongue in his mouth has Taehyung shuddering, sensitive, but he's not the one who hasn't come yet. When Taehyung works a hand between them and into Jeongguk's boxers, Jeongguk's voice sounds stripped raw with need.
"Fuck," Jeongguk groans, scrambling to shuck his boxers lower down his legs even as Taehyung surges forward to keep their mouths connected. "Fuck, hyung, your fingers - "
Taehyung twists his wrist in a way he has learned over time that Jeongguk likes, and this time it's Jeongguk's turn to feel his hips stutter, automatically fucking up in the circle of Taehyung's hand. It's obscene and overwhelming, the wet friction of lotion and Jeongguk's pre-come, and Taehyung can sense it loud in his ears, muffling everything out but the sound of their panting breaths. When Jeongguk breaks away from the kiss to rest his forehead on Taehyung's shoulder, Taehyung lets him, concentrating on his touch instead.
Jeongguk's shaking, sweat collecting on the tops of his shoulder when Taehyung dares to touch with his other hand, and he reaches up to hold onto Taehyung's arm as if to ground himself in this moment, pressed against Taehyung in their dorm bathroom. "Tighter," he forces out, and Taehyung obligingly tightens his grip, more than he would for himself, and Jeongguk responds with a shuddering exhale.
"How's that?" Taehyung murmurs, and Jeongguk whines under his breath at the sound of Taehyung's voice pressed up against his ear. He doesn't seem to be able to articulate himself very much past that, but Taehyung can read the unsteadiness in his breaths and the way Jeongguk's grip tightens, arm flexing. They kiss again, filthy as Jeongguk presses his moans against Taehyung's lips, slides them across Taehyung's tongue.
It doesn't take long, Jeongguk gasping Taehyung's name out before coming hard, making a mess across Taehyung's hand and stomach. He doesn't let go just yet, can't resist stroking Jeongguk lightly a few more times until he shudders at the hypersensitivity and catches Taehyung's wrist, squeezing once in warning. "Hyung."
"Jeonggukie," Taehyung responds, aiming for sing-song and mostly getting fond, and languidly strokes his clean hand through Jeongguk's hair as Jeongguk catches his breath. He's considering dipping back into the shower quickly again, just to rinse himself clean, when Jeongguk's hand settles at his hip and his thumb draws slowly over the curve of his hipbone. It's too much and not enough at the same time, like everything involved in this mess with Jeongguk.
Taehyung keeps trying to reconcile the Jeongguk in his arms now and the Jeon Jeongguk, golden maknae, the rest of the world sees, and he's struggling. He doesn't know when, but there's bound to be a moment where they hit an upper bound, a moment where Taehyung's saved up so many lingering memories of Jeongguk under his skin that one day he'll look at Jeongguk in public and everyone will see everything in his face. It's not just a switch he can flip the way he sees Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung, and even Jimin, pull off. Taehyung always been a little too honest, a little too exposed, and not just with pictures of his family and friends.
"I need - I need to rinse this off," he says, trying to extract himself from Jeongguk's grasp without making too much of an affair of it, but Jeongguk perks up and makes to follow him. For Round 2, probably; it wouldn't be the first time, Taehyung reminds himself reluctantly.
"Need help with that?" Jeongguk says, and Taehyung wants to lean in and kiss the mischief from his mouth. In love, maybe, with the way the side of Jeongguk's lips always seem to sneak up when he's teasing.
But that's not what he's allowed to do, and not what he's allowed to have, and instead Taehyung says carefully, "I think we've already been in here too long. Hobeom hyung will probably come check on us soon. Go first and I'll come out later, okay?"
Jeongguk pulls back immediately, the flirty, coy expression immediately shuttered behind as neutral of an expression as Taehyung's really seen directed towards him on Jeongguk's face. "Yeah, you're right," he says, muted. "Hyung's always right."
"Jeongguk," Taehyung says quietly, but Jeongguk's already pulling his tank top back on, and Taehyung standing there completely naked and kind of cold and wishing he'd met Jeongguk in a world where it'd be okay to give him a hickey, right there under his collarbone, and touch it to make Jeongguk shiver at the reminder of Taehyung's mouth.
"Later," Jeongguk says shortly, snatching his snapback off the bathroom counter, and he's out the door before Taehyung can edge in another word.
Taehyung stands there for a moment, his mind reeling at his sudden aloneness. At least the water doesn't need to be too hot, just enough to stand as he scrubs himself clean, he thinks to himself. It won't take long at all.
❄
It's almost exactly one year ago, October 2014, and they're crowded around a table for an interview, this time for a Japanese magazine called Haru*Hana that's done a few spreads on them before. Taehyung's been through this cycle enough times to know how to respond to the questions practically on autopilot, so he's more focused on the banter, playing it up good.
This issue, though, it seems they want to mix it up with a few personal questions. Yoongi hyung talks about his photography, considering a new camera, and of course Namjoon hyung seizes the chance to talk about his undying love for Harajuku. Taehyung is lively, charm turned up high, complaining about being named as one of the untidy members and teasing relentlessly when Jimin brings him up for the last question. They all get a chance to talk about their an "unforgettable Christmas memory."
When the interviewer presents Jeongguk with the question, after some general squabbling about his desired superpower - destroying people? Really, Jeonggukie? - he pauses and glances down at the table in front of them, contemplating. "Um," he says, "I suppose it would be going to the jimjilbang with V hyung."
Taehyung fights the urge to stiffen, knowing before it even happens when the interviewer's eyes dart to him to gauge his reaction. He smiles at Jeongguk, the easy smile their fans love best, and the interviewer prods Jeongguk to continue.
"It was already snowing when we went back," Jeongguk recounts thoughtfully, the words coming slow but steady, "so we went home while having a snowball fight. It was really fun."
"That sounds lovely, Jeongguk-sshi!" the interviewer gushes. "All right, speaking of winter, what things or events come to mind?"
And the interview moves along, but Taehyung's quiet for the rest of Jeongguk's part, because he knows exactly what day Jeongguk's talking about. Of course he does. There's no way he could've decided ahead of time to bring it up, so it must - it must be his unforgettable Christmas memory. The jimjilbang, Taehyung's birthday around the corner, and falling into the snowbank together -
"I want to ask V," Seokjin hyung says, and Taehyung immediately narrows his eyes at him, snapping back into the moment. "What exactly do you think of when you’re in a daze?"
Taehyung startles, knowing a warning when he hears it, but Seokjin simply continues, "Also, why do you have such a handsome face?" and laughs, and it's easy enough to laugh along and bring up rebuts of Seokjin hyung's sneaky hands on his butt, catching on his neck. They tussle and the interviewer obviously loves it, laughing into her hand as she jots notes down.
It isn't long after that when she wraps things up and heads out, bowing and waving off Namjoon's polite gratitude. The members shuffle around him as Taehyung gets up, too, heading towards the door, and Taehyung doesn't look in Jeongguk's direction even once.
A/N: Inspired by this. The Haru*Hana interview mentioned is this one.
taehyung/jeongguk // nc-17 // ~4.6k // mild bruises kink
Taehyung can't seem to turn away from Jeongguk's touch. Jeongguk finding out about his new...thing doesn't help his case.
In the old dorm, it always took the water heater a few minutes to rumble to life, but the shower in their new dorm building heats quick, almost scalding Taehyung's skin when he steps into the spray. His fingers fumble as he hastens to adjust the temperature to something more bearable. Every limb feels clumsy with fatigue, weighed down. Taehyung tips his head back and lets the hot water beat down against his body for a long moment.
The postponed comeback allowed Namjoon and Yoongi hyung much-needed time to finesse the composition of their upcoming album, but Taehyung can tell the resulting time crunch has already begun to take its toll on everyone - the recording and photoshoot sessions of comeback preparation overlapping with Son Ahmunim's increasingly ambitious choreographies for end-of-year award shows and Gayo Daejun stages. Winning Best Male Dance Performance at the Melon Music Awards had been immensely bolstering, but right now, fresh after a dance practice that verged on three hours, Taehyung feels so far from the glamor of red carpets. Right now, he mostly feels drained, tired of seeing his own reflection in the wall-length mirrors and exhausted enough to knock out the second his head hits the pillow.
It's not all work and no play, though. Naver V App filmings are some of his favorite schedules as of late, precious chances to forget about everything outside of the studio and shout song name guesses on the tops of his lungs. When they found out about their outdoor paintballing episode, Taehyung had seized Jimin and practically squeezed the breath out of him in excitement; he'd never been paintballing before, never even seen or held a paintball gun before, but the challenge sounded exciting, breaking the drone of between-promotion schedules.
Tension melting from his shoulders under the superior water pressure of the new shower, Taehyung stretches and reaches for the shampoo. A round, paintball bullet-shaped bruise on his arm twinges painfully when the water hits it, and he hisses under his breath and reflexively pulls his arm in towards his side. The dollop of shampoo in his palm nearly spills, and he hastens to get it to his hair instead of the shower floor.
Two days after filming, and the worst of his bruises have only begun fading from purple, others more so resembling yellow and green. Unlike Yoongi hyung, who sported some rather splotchy bruises down the left side of his back and not for lack of complaining, Taehyung managed to escape most of the open fire from behind. Hoseok hyung had gotten hit close enough that one of the bullets split the skin slightly on his upper arm, which had been tended to by a faintly disapproving coordi noona the next day when they'd gone in for styling. When she'd asked Taehyung if he needed any light medical attention, he'd refused, face flushing self-consciously, traitorously.
It wasn't like this was the first time he'd gotten a bruise. He had his share of childhood scrapes and wounds. There's just always been something about touching them, the blooms of healing wounds under his skin, pressing down and inhaling sharp at the corresponding ache.
These ones are recent enough that they still hurt when Taehyung soaps himself down - a couple of quick pangs of pain along his arms, one on the side where he'd gotten hit just an inch away from the protective vest, and a particularly sensitive one at the top of his right thigh. Someone had caught him close enough that it still hurt, vividly, enough that he was absently rubbing at the mark through his sweatpants when the cameras were still rolling, and for Jimin to catch him. Now, under the gradually cooling shower spray, Taehyung smooths his thumb over the bruise again and shudders, heat rushing south.
"Taehyung-ah! Hurry up, you've been in there forever!" he hears from outside the bathroom faintly, recognizing the voice and passing footsteps of Hobeom hyung.
"Okay," he calls back, snatching his hand back from his thigh as if he'd been caught. He makes quick work of the shower after that, rinsing off the last remains of soapy lather and shutting off the water. Thankfully, he was last to shower out of the group, with no one to protest at him using up what was probably an entire water heater tank.
By the time Taehyung finally steps out, the steam has rolled out of the shower into the rest of the bathroom, fogging up the mirror. He's caught Jimin mugging at his reflection post-shower before, and teased him mercilessly for it, but now he reaches out and wipes off the condensation until he can see himself. Hair soaked to his head and dripping down his neck and torso, flushing high in his cheeks from the heat - and more. There's a small, circular bruise on his left upper arm and he can't help but prod at it, worrying it beneath his fingertips. Doing so brings the heat back, liquid, drawn down through his veins and pooling in the pit of his stomach nicely. Maybe too nicely.
He's so absorbed, the knock on the bathroom door catches him by surprise and Taehyung yelps, hurriedly wrapping a towel around his waist and grabbing another one to occupy in drying his hair. "Who is it?"
"Hyung, it's me."
It's Jeongguk. Sometimes Taehyung doesn't know how the entire world has yet to discover this - this thing growing quiet and private between them, the way his blush burns up to the tips of his ears at the sound of Jeongguk's voice, the collection of graphic memories that Taehyung has to try very hard to keep locked up in the back of his mind when they're on air. He can usually keep it cool under the public eye, but caught simultaneously relaxed and unwound from his shower, Taehyung's body is all honesty.
"I'm almost done," he says through the door, even though he knows Jeongguk didn't just come to take a piss. They have enough bathrooms in their new building to deal with that.
"Hyung," Jeongguk says again, and Taehyung can already see the expression on his face, the impatience and anticipation as he chews at his lower lip. That's all he has to say.
Ever conscious of their groupmates and managers in the dorm with them, mere thin-walled rooms away, Taehyung cracks the bathroom door wide enough to see Jeongguk standing there, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Jeongguk squeezes in quick, shutting the door behind him and locking it with a finality that has Taehyung shivering in expectation.
It's late, they've had a long day, and Taehyung still thinks Jeongguk looks good, in his backwards snapback and tank top and boxer shorts. Makeup removed hours ago, but Taehyung likes the pimple coming in on his cheek; it makes him feel more real, right here in front of him. On his part, Jeongguk doesn't seem to mind much that Taehyung is still damp, arms coming up around Taehyung's waist when Taehyung steps into his space.
"Hey," Taehyung says, smiling a little when Jeongguk has to tip his head back to meet his eyes and looking no more pleased about it. When he'd posted to the fancafe about his recent height growth spurt, Jeongguk had complained, crushing Taehyung against the couch where Taehyung had been on his laptop until Taehyung called for mercy between peals of laughter. Since then, he can tell it's been a bit of a sore spot for Jeongguk, bristling whenever Yoongi hyung asks, smirking, if the maknae's been working out too much to grow taller.
"Hey," Jeongguk replies. He doesn't say anything more, just stands there holding Taehyung lightly, and he doesn't move to stop him when Taehyung reaches up to take off Jeongguk's snapback and put it down on the cramped bathroom countertop behind him. His bangs fall over his forehead, making him look rather young for a heartbeat, and then Taehyung is brushing his hair out of his face as Jeongguk stretches up, bringing their mouths together.
Taehyung groans softly into the kiss, trying to be mindful of the fact that only one door, three thin walls, separates from the very people they've been trying to keep this a secret from. One door and three walls away from the rest of the world. It's hard, though, the way Jeongguk kisses him like he's been waiting to do it all day, with that single-minded focus he brings to his vocal lessons, his songwriting. Like he's trying to write every draft of his compositions into Taehyung's skin with the efforts of his lips and hands alone.
The first time Jeongguk kissed him hadn't seemed to be part of the plan at all, something so spontaneous and unmeditated about it. Just another winter day, coming back from the jimjilbang together with the lingering warmth of the baths keeping them comfortable against the Seoul winter. That coziness had been quickly dispelled by the snowball fight that soon ensued, Jeongguk shoving snow down the back of Taehyung's jacket so he yelped at the ice dispelling that very warmth. He'd gotten him back with a snowball straight to the face, Jeongguk halting his snowball making operations to spit a mouthful of snow to the side.
It had all come to head, Taehyung's ribs aching from laughing so hard, when Jeongguk plowed him into a snowbank and they'd tussled, trying to catch their breaths through the mirth. Jeongguk managed to pin Taehyung down beneath him and Taehyung could starkly feel the fabric of his beanie getting soaked - how he'd managed to keep it on his head, he had no idea, especially with Jeongguk's gone from sight - and Taehyung was left staring up into his face, the only sound between them their gasping breaths. Jeongguk's expression was unreadable, a rarity between them. In that moment, it felt like they were the only two people in a world of white, newly fallen snow.
And then Jeongguk had leaned down, pressed their mouths together with a tenderness that seemed almost too much for Taehyung's body to receive, to contain. Tenderness Taehyung hadn't even realized was possible, from the Jeongguk who'd always tried to keep his feelings down, hidden, caged in against his chest.
When he pulled back, Taehyung blinked up at him; the spell holding them together had broken and suddenly he wondered whether he'd imagined it, the feeling of Jeongguk's lips on his, inexperienced but sincere. But then he'd looked into Jeongguk's face, the sudden doubt tempering the hopeful expression Taehyung wanted to see, and he surged up to kiss Jeongguk again before nudging him up to his feet. "Let's go find your beanie," he'd said, unsure whether the blush high on his cheeks was entirely because of the cold.
That was winter, when most of the members had gone home to see their holidays and Taehyung and Jeongguk had found a day to themselves and taken it. In retrospect, Taehyung wondered how long Jeongguk had been waiting for that window of opportunity, and whether it had been a one-time thing. Just a happy coincidence. But a couple of promotion cycles and a worldwide concert tour later, watching Jeongguk mature and bulk up in front of his very eyes, Taehyung's not so sure. Jeongguk still lingers at Taehyung's side like he's not completely sure if he's allowed to touch, then takes greedily when Taehyung opens up to him. (Personally, Taehyung's can't say they got away completely innocent from TRB in Sao Pablo, Seokjin hyung walking into what they'd thought would be a safely empty changing room to grab his pink cell phone. But he hasn't mentioned anything since, definitely not about Taehyung and Jeongguk making out after the concert, so Jeongguk seems to think everything's fine. Taehyung, for his part, tries not to worry too much about it.)
Then two days ago, during the Naver V App filming, they'd done their handshake on air for the first time and Taehyung had felt vulnerable for some reason, unable to meet Jeongguk's eyes properly. He never quite stopped marveling at the way their hands just came together, intertwining, without missing a beat. Muscle memory was ingrained so deeply Taehyung barely needed to look at the movement of their hands. They fit together so easily, and Taehyung has come to count it on before concerts, while training, and evidently before rounds of paintball, too.
Jeongguk mumbles something, more for the sound than the words, and one of his hands leaves Taehyung's waist to tilt his face for a deeper angle, a deeper kiss. The touch on his chin, with a confidence they definitely didn't see months ago, has Taehyung shuddering, Jeongguk coaxing his mouth open with a gentle nip to his lower lip. Taehyung obliges, of course, and Jeongguk lets his hand drop to Taehyung's arm, smoothing down the length of his bicep.
It isn't even that much pressure. Jeongguk's thumb brushes against the bruise left there by the paintball bullet, and Taehyung can't help the whimper he presses against Jeongguk's mouth. It sounds desperate, even to his own ears, and Taehyung starts to pull back self-consciously.
"Wait, wait, hyung," Jeongguk says, catching onto Taehyung before he can withdraw any farther, and a proper glance into his face collects the rosebud of his kiss-swollen mouth and dark, blown pupils. Taehyung is suddenly very aware of the fact he's only dressed in a towel. "What was that?"
"Um," Taehyung says, but Jeongguk strokes the skin in his arm with the same thumb in an obvious attempt to soothe but instead Taehyung's breath catches. He's trying to resist grabbing Jeongguk's wrist to stop him, it'd be so obvious if he did, and yet he thinks it might be dawning on Jeongguk already, his eyes following the path of his own touch.
"You're into that?" Jeongguk asks. His gaze flicks to Taehyung, who nods slowly, and this time he presses against the bruise with proper intent and Taehyung has to swallow down another moan. Jeongguk, obviously, doesn't miss a thing, and crowds into Taehyung's space to run his fingers over Taehyung's skin, exploring, the look in his eyes quietly victorious when he finds another circular bruise.
The beginning stirrings of interest from the shower are back in earnest, and the way Jeongguk rubs his fingertips against the bruises, tentative and careful, is more like a caress than anything. Taehyung exhales harshly and tugs at Jeongguk's tank top, trying to even the playing field. "Off, Jeongguk, please," he stutters out, and slumps against the bathroom counter as Jeongguk stops long enough to strip off his shirt. It'd just be his luck to develop new erogenous zones from playing paintball - but Taehyung's not complaining.
If anything, he gets to enjoy the show as the muscles Jeongguk works at so tirelessly tense and stretch as he tugs the shirt over his head. With their comeback imminent, Jeongguk's upped his training regime relentlessly, replacing parts of his diet with protein shakes (Taehyung's never been able to understand how Jimin and Jeongguk can stand drinking those things). He's grateful when Jeongguk kisses him again, abandoning the bruises for the familiar but no less effective territory of Taehyung's nipples. This he knows, as well as the path Jeongguk kisses wetly down his throat and chest, except for the detour to the bruise on his side where Taehyung learns firsthand how it feels to have one of his bruises licked.
Good. Very good.
"Ah, shit, Jeongguk," he breathes as Jeongguk sinks to his knees, eyes determined and intense as he looked up at Taehyung's face. With no way to mistake his intent, Taehyung can only nod weakly when Jeongguk curls his fingers into the already slipping towel Taehyung had around his waist. He's already half-hard, at least in part from Jeongguk touching his bruises no doubt, but that's quick to change when Jeongguk discovers the bruise on his thigh.
"Pretty," Jeongguk murmurs, worrying at the bruise with a finger and smiling when Taehyung's hips jump, smug like the cat that got the cream. Taehyung's never thought of it as pretty, per se, but the point of contention fades as Jeongguk takes Taehyung's cock into his mouth.
Jeongguk tongues at the head before properly taking as much as he can of Taehyung's length into his mouth, which admittedly isn't much or all of it, but he's improved leagues since the first time he tried to blow Taehyung and nearly choked, which would've been very difficult to explain during their next vocal lessons. Now he takes a breath in through his nose, tracing the vein on the underside with the flat of his tongue, and slides down farther. Taehyung tips his head back and groans out all the curses he knows, almost forgetting to keep it down because what does it matter in comparison to the heat, the wet suction around his cock. "You - You're so - " he chokes out when Jeongguk pulls off to take a breath.
"Great? Amazing?" Jeongguk asks cheekily, sitting back on his heels for a moment. Taehyung can see he's hard, the outline of his erection visible in the fabric of his boxers, and wishes wildly that they weren't in the goddamn bathroom so he could get his mouth on that, too.
"You drive me crazy," Taehyung tries to say, but Jeongguk's returned himself to the task at hand and the rest of Taehyung's sentence ends up garbled. Adrenaline had burned fast in his veins during the paintball game itself, Taehyung hurling himself behind trees and into gullies to dodge the incoming fire, but arousal sets in with a slow but deliberate sense of purpose that has Taehyung muffling his moans against his arm as he rocks into Jeongguk's mouth.
Jeongguk allows it for a few thrusts before pinning Taehyung's hips back against the bathroom counter with a firm forearm, the handle of one of the drawers digging into the back of Taehyung's thigh but he hardly pays it any mind when Jeongguk is swallowing him down to the best of his ability. And his ability has gotten pretty damn high, Taehyung thinks shakily, as Jeongguk looks up through his messily strewn bangs to meet Taehyung's eyes, like he knows.
"I'm close," he gasps out, voice hushed, and somehow it takes him completely by surprise when Jeongguk doubles his efforts just as he draws his fingers again across the purpling bruise on Taehyung's thighs. There's no way he can offer any other warning, just squeezes his eyes closed against the force of his climax and opens them slowly, dazedly, to Jeongguk sputtering and standing to lean around Taehyung to spit out the come in his mouth into the sink.
Dreamy and limber, Taehyung lets Jeongguk rearrange him to the side slightly so he has the chance to turn on the tap, rinsing the evidence down the drain and gargling quickly too. When Jeongguk kisses him again, the taste of his own come is faint but there, definitely still there, and part of Taehyung is into that, too. The way Jeongguk tastes like him.
Jeongguk draws Taehyung back against his body again, and it's quiet for a moment, Jeongguk clearly waiting for Taehyung to recollect himself. "Good?" he asks, as Taehyung nuzzles against Jeongguk's bare shoulder. Even though he knows Jeongguk tends to sleep without his shirt on, having the free reign to touch and feel is undoubtedly better. He's so used to not looking, not touching - he has to be.
"Yeah, good," Taehyung says faintly, kissing Jeongguk's throat before tipping his face up for a proper kiss. Jeongguk indulges him, as always. For a moment, he can imagine them back in the snowbank, that feeling of being the only two people in the world.
There's something too gentle about this kiss, the same touch of intimacy that scared him the very first time around. Jeongguk doesn't protest when Taehyung presses closer against him, hands coming up to Jeongguk's neck, fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. He pushes them into something hungrier and Jeongguk, never one to back down from a challenge, matches him with tooth and tongue. Something about Jeongguk's tongue in his mouth has Taehyung shuddering, sensitive, but he's not the one who hasn't come yet. When Taehyung works a hand between them and into Jeongguk's boxers, Jeongguk's voice sounds stripped raw with need.
"Fuck," Jeongguk groans, scrambling to shuck his boxers lower down his legs even as Taehyung surges forward to keep their mouths connected. "Fuck, hyung, your fingers - "
Taehyung twists his wrist in a way he has learned over time that Jeongguk likes, and this time it's Jeongguk's turn to feel his hips stutter, automatically fucking up in the circle of Taehyung's hand. It's obscene and overwhelming, the wet friction of lotion and Jeongguk's pre-come, and Taehyung can sense it loud in his ears, muffling everything out but the sound of their panting breaths. When Jeongguk breaks away from the kiss to rest his forehead on Taehyung's shoulder, Taehyung lets him, concentrating on his touch instead.
Jeongguk's shaking, sweat collecting on the tops of his shoulder when Taehyung dares to touch with his other hand, and he reaches up to hold onto Taehyung's arm as if to ground himself in this moment, pressed against Taehyung in their dorm bathroom. "Tighter," he forces out, and Taehyung obligingly tightens his grip, more than he would for himself, and Jeongguk responds with a shuddering exhale.
"How's that?" Taehyung murmurs, and Jeongguk whines under his breath at the sound of Taehyung's voice pressed up against his ear. He doesn't seem to be able to articulate himself very much past that, but Taehyung can read the unsteadiness in his breaths and the way Jeongguk's grip tightens, arm flexing. They kiss again, filthy as Jeongguk presses his moans against Taehyung's lips, slides them across Taehyung's tongue.
It doesn't take long, Jeongguk gasping Taehyung's name out before coming hard, making a mess across Taehyung's hand and stomach. He doesn't let go just yet, can't resist stroking Jeongguk lightly a few more times until he shudders at the hypersensitivity and catches Taehyung's wrist, squeezing once in warning. "Hyung."
"Jeonggukie," Taehyung responds, aiming for sing-song and mostly getting fond, and languidly strokes his clean hand through Jeongguk's hair as Jeongguk catches his breath. He's considering dipping back into the shower quickly again, just to rinse himself clean, when Jeongguk's hand settles at his hip and his thumb draws slowly over the curve of his hipbone. It's too much and not enough at the same time, like everything involved in this mess with Jeongguk.
Taehyung keeps trying to reconcile the Jeongguk in his arms now and the Jeon Jeongguk, golden maknae, the rest of the world sees, and he's struggling. He doesn't know when, but there's bound to be a moment where they hit an upper bound, a moment where Taehyung's saved up so many lingering memories of Jeongguk under his skin that one day he'll look at Jeongguk in public and everyone will see everything in his face. It's not just a switch he can flip the way he sees Yoongi hyung, Hoseok hyung, and even Jimin, pull off. Taehyung always been a little too honest, a little too exposed, and not just with pictures of his family and friends.
"I need - I need to rinse this off," he says, trying to extract himself from Jeongguk's grasp without making too much of an affair of it, but Jeongguk perks up and makes to follow him. For Round 2, probably; it wouldn't be the first time, Taehyung reminds himself reluctantly.
"Need help with that?" Jeongguk says, and Taehyung wants to lean in and kiss the mischief from his mouth. In love, maybe, with the way the side of Jeongguk's lips always seem to sneak up when he's teasing.
But that's not what he's allowed to do, and not what he's allowed to have, and instead Taehyung says carefully, "I think we've already been in here too long. Hobeom hyung will probably come check on us soon. Go first and I'll come out later, okay?"
Jeongguk pulls back immediately, the flirty, coy expression immediately shuttered behind as neutral of an expression as Taehyung's really seen directed towards him on Jeongguk's face. "Yeah, you're right," he says, muted. "Hyung's always right."
"Jeongguk," Taehyung says quietly, but Jeongguk's already pulling his tank top back on, and Taehyung standing there completely naked and kind of cold and wishing he'd met Jeongguk in a world where it'd be okay to give him a hickey, right there under his collarbone, and touch it to make Jeongguk shiver at the reminder of Taehyung's mouth.
"Later," Jeongguk says shortly, snatching his snapback off the bathroom counter, and he's out the door before Taehyung can edge in another word.
Taehyung stands there for a moment, his mind reeling at his sudden aloneness. At least the water doesn't need to be too hot, just enough to stand as he scrubs himself clean, he thinks to himself. It won't take long at all.
❄
It's almost exactly one year ago, October 2014, and they're crowded around a table for an interview, this time for a Japanese magazine called Haru*Hana that's done a few spreads on them before. Taehyung's been through this cycle enough times to know how to respond to the questions practically on autopilot, so he's more focused on the banter, playing it up good.
This issue, though, it seems they want to mix it up with a few personal questions. Yoongi hyung talks about his photography, considering a new camera, and of course Namjoon hyung seizes the chance to talk about his undying love for Harajuku. Taehyung is lively, charm turned up high, complaining about being named as one of the untidy members and teasing relentlessly when Jimin brings him up for the last question. They all get a chance to talk about their an "unforgettable Christmas memory."
When the interviewer presents Jeongguk with the question, after some general squabbling about his desired superpower - destroying people? Really, Jeonggukie? - he pauses and glances down at the table in front of them, contemplating. "Um," he says, "I suppose it would be going to the jimjilbang with V hyung."
Taehyung fights the urge to stiffen, knowing before it even happens when the interviewer's eyes dart to him to gauge his reaction. He smiles at Jeongguk, the easy smile their fans love best, and the interviewer prods Jeongguk to continue.
"It was already snowing when we went back," Jeongguk recounts thoughtfully, the words coming slow but steady, "so we went home while having a snowball fight. It was really fun."
"That sounds lovely, Jeongguk-sshi!" the interviewer gushes. "All right, speaking of winter, what things or events come to mind?"
And the interview moves along, but Taehyung's quiet for the rest of Jeongguk's part, because he knows exactly what day Jeongguk's talking about. Of course he does. There's no way he could've decided ahead of time to bring it up, so it must - it must be his unforgettable Christmas memory. The jimjilbang, Taehyung's birthday around the corner, and falling into the snowbank together -
"I want to ask V," Seokjin hyung says, and Taehyung immediately narrows his eyes at him, snapping back into the moment. "What exactly do you think of when you’re in a daze?"
Taehyung startles, knowing a warning when he hears it, but Seokjin simply continues, "Also, why do you have such a handsome face?" and laughs, and it's easy enough to laugh along and bring up rebuts of Seokjin hyung's sneaky hands on his butt, catching on his neck. They tussle and the interviewer obviously loves it, laughing into her hand as she jots notes down.
It isn't long after that when she wraps things up and heads out, bowing and waving off Namjoon's polite gratitude. The members shuffle around him as Taehyung gets up, too, heading towards the door, and Taehyung doesn't look in Jeongguk's direction even once.
A/N: Inspired by this. The Haru*Hana interview mentioned is this one.