Cow's economics
21 Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008
SOCIALISM
Youhave 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk
away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
Youhave two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
Youhave two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has
dropped dead.
AMERICAN VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a
tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
Youhave 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyonethinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and
invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive ...
SOCIALISM
Youhave 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
Youhave 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk
away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
Youhave two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
Youhave two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has
dropped dead.
AMERICAN VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a
tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the
rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads,
because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a
month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
Youhave 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyonethinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and
invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
Youhave two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive ...