Jun 26, 2009 10:30
I hate my mom.
She has no control, whatsoever.
My one day off this week, as soon as I wake up and I'm out of my room...
"Nicole, can you take me to the pharmacy?"
"I was about to leave for the gym..."
And, then all her rants and raves about how much she does around the house, and blah blah blah.
She doesn't have a job.
She doesn't have an income.
She doesn't support Jessica.
I do.
Why should I respect her as a mother?
She abandoned that role a long time ago.
Back when she started being so incoherant, for months, she couldn't make a sentence that made sense.
I remember... Henry coming over, sitting down on the couch next to my mom and fake barking like a dog, and then asking my mom when we got one? She started telling him this whole story about how we got it... even though we've never had one.
Randomly yelling, RONALD REGANS HERE!
She's absolutely nuts.
I guess that's what drugs do to people.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I'm irritated.
I can't ever do things on my own time.
I don't want to go to the gym anymore, I'm going to feel like crap if I don't.
Maybe I should just get a second job so I work 7 days a week and no one can bother me.
I just want to get out of here.
Everytime we try to move, something happens, completely out of our control.
I think I'm just cursed to stay here forever, and rot, like my parents have.
Grow older, more angry, and sorry as fuck.
I hate to say it, but that month that she was in the psych ward, was the best month I've had in a while.
I hate people's weaknesses, why can't they stop themselves.
And then their whole life is a burden on others.
My parents always told me they wanted me to do well in life, but I'm stuck here, because of them.
I'm scared to leave Jessica, she has no structure as is.
No one calls her to see where she's at while she's gone a week at a time, except for me...
I hate my family.