The 1:00 News, Our top story: Nail Biters Anonymous
Whaddup homies! It is I reporting live from Shabby chic room. I am bored, if that was not obvious to you. So lately, meaning this past year and most of the cropped summer that I had, I have been trying to grow my nails. What may seem as a small task for some, has proven to be very challenging for me. I, like many have been a nail-biter for the majority of my life. I have concluded that I have an oral fixation. I always need to be chewing on something. It's like I am a three month old baby who checks everything out by putting it my mouth. K, well maybe not that but but whatevers.
So, I drank from a bottle until I was three (Yeah. That's right. Three. Can you beat that? Bring it!) Immediately after quitting the bottle, I started sucking my thumb. My thumb to me was coffee and cigarettes for recovering alcoholics. I did that until I was about eight or so. I had a callus on my thumb, which I am sure you are very interested in. After my thumb, I started biting my nails, and I have continued to do so since then. As a card-carrying member of the United Federation of Nail Biters, I consider myself to be lucky. I have managed to maintain nails that are rather normal looking. Some of the others in this very elite organization are not so lucky. They have whittled away their tips to little nubs. It looks rather painful, and I know what it feels like when you go a little too far.
I have tried numerous times to quit. They should really make a patch. But I refused to put that crap on my nails that is supposed to taste really bad, so it deters you from biting your nails. But self-imposed operational conditioning was never my thing so thanks, but I pass. Maybe if they would make in yummy flavors I would use it. It'd be like lip gloss for your nails. But I guess that defeats the purpose.
I also got into getting my nails "done". You know it's where they super glue a fake nail to your hand then fill it in with acrylic powder. The catalyst for the powder smells something nasty, but some how, after invasive filing with a mini rotary sander, you have beautiful long nails, that almost look real. The whole process is kind of like putting resin over the foam-core of a surfboard. And it can really screw up your nails, but it looked soo pretty, and since I was feeling frugal, I bought all the stuff and learned how to do it myself. I got pretty good at it too. I have all the stuff that the other people use accept for the sander. I never gathered enough crazy to go out and buy a power tool to file my nails. I guess that's why it took me four times as long to do it by hand.
Ok so anyways, to make a long story longer, I got home for the rest of summer and was laying on my bed and just told myself, "You can stop biting your nails, you will stop biting your nails," and that was it. I just stopped. What the ufck?! After all those years, and then nothing. Cold turkey Baby! So right on for me I guess. I was all "Yay," and then I can back to school and while trying to move into my new apartment, they all broke. I always used to roll my eyes and think of the most irritating, high-maintainance people when hearing, " (insert profanity of choice)! I broke my nail." But I really felt the pain. It kinda sucks....a lot! It took a considerable amount of patience to get my nails that long, and then they were all gone. So I had a small period of mourning, and then got right back on my bike and started riding again...
Which now brings us to my current situation of regrowth. It has been slow and tough, my nails are gaining strength and length but not without the occasional peeling, so a file is always near by to smooth out the kinks. Nail polish also helps too, as soon as I can wait for them to dry before falling asleep, inevitable causing hair-line marks all over my once pristine and glossy nails. ***sigh*** It's an up hill battle kids! Good luck to you all you ladies out there, and some of you guys too. Whatever floats your boat!
Goodnight/morning and have a pleasant tomorrow!
P.S. For those of you who are supposed to "respond" to this. I realize I just wrote about 750 words about nails biting/growing, so feel free to respond to another entry that has a little less crazy in it.---Later!
So, I drank from a bottle until I was three (Yeah. That's right. Three. Can you beat that? Bring it!) Immediately after quitting the bottle, I started sucking my thumb. My thumb to me was coffee and cigarettes for recovering alcoholics. I did that until I was about eight or so. I had a callus on my thumb, which I am sure you are very interested in. After my thumb, I started biting my nails, and I have continued to do so since then. As a card-carrying member of the United Federation of Nail Biters, I consider myself to be lucky. I have managed to maintain nails that are rather normal looking. Some of the others in this very elite organization are not so lucky. They have whittled away their tips to little nubs. It looks rather painful, and I know what it feels like when you go a little too far.
I have tried numerous times to quit. They should really make a patch. But I refused to put that crap on my nails that is supposed to taste really bad, so it deters you from biting your nails. But self-imposed operational conditioning was never my thing so thanks, but I pass. Maybe if they would make in yummy flavors I would use it. It'd be like lip gloss for your nails. But I guess that defeats the purpose.
I also got into getting my nails "done". You know it's where they super glue a fake nail to your hand then fill it in with acrylic powder. The catalyst for the powder smells something nasty, but some how, after invasive filing with a mini rotary sander, you have beautiful long nails, that almost look real. The whole process is kind of like putting resin over the foam-core of a surfboard. And it can really screw up your nails, but it looked soo pretty, and since I was feeling frugal, I bought all the stuff and learned how to do it myself. I got pretty good at it too. I have all the stuff that the other people use accept for the sander. I never gathered enough crazy to go out and buy a power tool to file my nails. I guess that's why it took me four times as long to do it by hand.
Ok so anyways, to make a long story longer, I got home for the rest of summer and was laying on my bed and just told myself, "You can stop biting your nails, you will stop biting your nails," and that was it. I just stopped. What the ufck?! After all those years, and then nothing. Cold turkey Baby! So right on for me I guess. I was all "Yay," and then I can back to school and while trying to move into my new apartment, they all broke. I always used to roll my eyes and think of the most irritating, high-maintainance people when hearing, " (insert profanity of choice)! I broke my nail." But I really felt the pain. It kinda sucks....a lot! It took a considerable amount of patience to get my nails that long, and then they were all gone. So I had a small period of mourning, and then got right back on my bike and started riding again...
Which now brings us to my current situation of regrowth. It has been slow and tough, my nails are gaining strength and length but not without the occasional peeling, so a file is always near by to smooth out the kinks. Nail polish also helps too, as soon as I can wait for them to dry before falling asleep, inevitable causing hair-line marks all over my once pristine and glossy nails. ***sigh*** It's an up hill battle kids! Good luck to you all you ladies out there, and some of you guys too. Whatever floats your boat!
Goodnight/morning and have a pleasant tomorrow!
P.S. For those of you who are supposed to "respond" to this. I realize I just wrote about 750 words about nails biting/growing, so feel free to respond to another entry that has a little less crazy in it.---Later!