One last touch, and then we'll go. And well pretend that It meant something so much more...
I think she's right...
still beneith all this anger that i have, there is sadness...
He doesn't want to know me
And i dont know how to deal with that.
Its like, what outragous story do i have to make up, and tell him next?
So far none have evoked any sort of emotion from him, all i want is a response.
Im lying, to myself when I say that I want nothing to do with Him.. sortof like when a breakup is deemed "mutual"..who am i kidding, anymore?
Before I left for the wedding, my Mom sat with me on the bathroom floor.
I cried away all the freshly applied makeup, curling iron in hand, and told her i couldn't go.
She is so wonderful.
I went to the wedding with her in mind.
How she carries herself with such powerful dignity, even when it seems her world is falling apart - such a serene, calm strength and composure. Nobody ever sees her cry, because there is never a moment of weakness. Calm. Serene. Those two words...
Id like to say, ive gained something of that nature from her. The ability to go cold in a potentially emotional situation - until im alone when I can let my guard down..transfer all the spare energy onto paper.
I returned from Seattle with some issues settled in my mind; to be honest, Id like to leave ellensburg with a few settled, as well.
still beneith all this anger that i have, there is sadness...
He doesn't want to know me
And i dont know how to deal with that.
Its like, what outragous story do i have to make up, and tell him next?
So far none have evoked any sort of emotion from him, all i want is a response.
Im lying, to myself when I say that I want nothing to do with Him.. sortof like when a breakup is deemed "mutual"..who am i kidding, anymore?
Before I left for the wedding, my Mom sat with me on the bathroom floor.
I cried away all the freshly applied makeup, curling iron in hand, and told her i couldn't go.
She is so wonderful.
I went to the wedding with her in mind.
How she carries herself with such powerful dignity, even when it seems her world is falling apart - such a serene, calm strength and composure. Nobody ever sees her cry, because there is never a moment of weakness. Calm. Serene. Those two words...
Id like to say, ive gained something of that nature from her. The ability to go cold in a potentially emotional situation - until im alone when I can let my guard down..transfer all the spare energy onto paper.
I returned from Seattle with some issues settled in my mind; to be honest, Id like to leave ellensburg with a few settled, as well.