i provide my own ammo
I hate how attractive the 'friends' and 'private' options are, lately. I could just make my journal friends only, im thinkin about it
Where do I get my reason in being, in doing things this way? Some where in my head there is justification and reason for every stupid thing i do, where's that come from? If there were only street names to every corner of my mind, then i could figure out where am I right now. I see that down the street is the intersection of Father and Check the Caller ID Street; ...and further on down might be the interstection of Seeing Clouds Ave. and Getting Teary Eyed street: which is also the super highway- it goes on for quite a while im sure. And if this were truely realistic; we would be waiting excitedly for the re-opening Dating Drive which has been sporting a large Detour sign, because Relationship Road has under heavy construction. I need to get off the backroads for sure, because its not helping anything just stumbling around back there when so many moments have already passed me by.
Ive realized how driven by fear, i can be. Going about life avoiding risk that might envolve pain. All the while, becoming that which i fear.
Maybe i let myself believe it was easier to have the upper hand always, to be the one who cares less always, listens more and confides less - rather, lacks accountability to somebody else.. sorta seems like the easy way out...
Where do I get my reason in being, in doing things this way? Some where in my head there is justification and reason for every stupid thing i do, where's that come from? If there were only street names to every corner of my mind, then i could figure out where am I right now. I see that down the street is the intersection of Father and Check the Caller ID Street; ...and further on down might be the interstection of Seeing Clouds Ave. and Getting Teary Eyed street: which is also the super highway- it goes on for quite a while im sure. And if this were truely realistic; we would be waiting excitedly for the re-opening Dating Drive which has been sporting a large Detour sign, because Relationship Road has under heavy construction. I need to get off the backroads for sure, because its not helping anything just stumbling around back there when so many moments have already passed me by.
Ive realized how driven by fear, i can be. Going about life avoiding risk that might envolve pain. All the while, becoming that which i fear.
Maybe i let myself believe it was easier to have the upper hand always, to be the one who cares less always, listens more and confides less - rather, lacks accountability to somebody else.. sorta seems like the easy way out...