Serious Thinking
Well today was a decent day. Which was up to 11:45am when Kev reamed me a new asshole. First, it started when he said "I have a suspicion that you think there's more to our friendship then there really is...Is that true?" That pissed me off cuz I don't think that at all. Then he went on to explain that I had no right to state in a harmless email that I (me) have a crush on someone, when Dan and I are in the process of being split. I am human, didn't think it was a crime. And he wanted to make sure the crush wasn't him cuz then he said "he'd have to lose a friendship cuz of a stupid crush" That wasn't even the case. Grr. Got me agrivated. Then when I told him that I talked to Dan the other nite and how him and I were going to talk things out he said "Why don't you just give up?""You're just going to put yourself through the same shit over again?" I understand his concern, and part of me knows it's true too. I'm just at a standstill right now, and it's aggrivating the shit out of all my friends, and me. I really do love him, but the love just isn't there anymore. The fire isn't there. And it's unhealthy for him and I to keep dragging on like this. And it's harder for me cuz I can't go back and live with my parents. But no one wants to understand that issue either. I know it makes no sense if I want a break from it all, but yet go up there for spring break and the summer. Go figure. I really don't know. I'm just not happy. I don't know what happened and where I went wrong. I don't. :o(