urges and rationale
I had the urge to do something on Sunday. I almost texted someone to ask them to give me something. I thought better of it though. That issue will remain unspoken. I will not venture into that territory again pertaining to said individual either.
My life is going along as best as can be expected.. so why torture myself and ruin what I tried so hard to create: peace of mind, sanity, stability, and yes even control to a certain degree.
Perhaps I am a glutton for punishment. Who really knows. Those who know me well know I get into these moods every now and then.
However, if i see a shred of hope... a chance.. I will think about it and MAY do it.
I still remain to this day, rather cowardly when it comes to that. I simply do not wish to be hurt... again. These old wounds ache from time to time since they never really healed to begin with.
I find it best to ignore it and move on with a clean slate though. But my spirit is telling me to do it. I have no guarantee that I will be alright afterwards...
I am scared
My life is going along as best as can be expected.. so why torture myself and ruin what I tried so hard to create: peace of mind, sanity, stability, and yes even control to a certain degree.
Perhaps I am a glutton for punishment. Who really knows. Those who know me well know I get into these moods every now and then.
However, if i see a shred of hope... a chance.. I will think about it and MAY do it.
I still remain to this day, rather cowardly when it comes to that. I simply do not wish to be hurt... again. These old wounds ache from time to time since they never really healed to begin with.
I find it best to ignore it and move on with a clean slate though. But my spirit is telling me to do it. I have no guarantee that I will be alright afterwards...
I am scared