and depression hits....

[nikkimarie]

so yeah I have problems emotionally when the weater changes. I guess that a lot of people do, but still i am in the dumps, knowing others may be feeling shitty too doesn't help matters any. I won't regale you with my horendous saturday night at all, merely for the fact that I don't want to relive it. sigh....lets just say that i cried myself to sleep. oh but a big shout out to randy for talking to me about it and being a better friend than i really thought he was. i guess sometimes people can surprise you for the good as well as the bad. anyway so last night was shitty, there really is no getting around that. friday night though. WOW, seriously!!! I am so happy that I got a chance to spend some quality time with sara!! it was about damn time. we were WASTED. kyle came with us to mike cooks party and he wouldn't dance with us so he left early after feeling like we were ignoring him which we soooo weren't!!!!!! anyway sara and i still lived it up and had a grand ole time that didn't end until the wee hours of the morning. I did miss mollie though, she is still laying kinda low after the whole ticket thing. besides all this craziness the weekend was as usual at least when it came to work. I just have emotional dilemmas....

I just don't want to hurt anymore and I have been trying to cover it up for so long that it just kinda overflows now....and i can't stop it. I am sick and tired of how a certain gender treats me, and i don't know what to do. why do all the guys i know tell me how fuckin great i am and then follow it up with something shitty that they do to me!! actions speak louder than words, don't they know that! grrrr anyway I am rambling. I am strong....and i will survive, like the mighty aretha...hehe there i go making jokes about lifes hardships, evidence enough that i can deal!
hang in there nic...

nikki