grown up?
okay so its been a while since i last posted anything on here. so much ahs happened. prom...what can i say? i didnt like my dress, me and my date were just that although i made it seem like more than that...it was over from the begining of that relationship. then there was graduation! happy, beautiful day. i finally felt accomplished, although i knew it would come some day, it also felt liek it would never come, but i did it! my mom, my family and my friends were there and supported me and i did it!
soon after that, i got out of a bad situation that had been on going for a lil over a year- NICK. thats all he was, was a bad decision, situation, mistake, chioce...i guess everyone has their stupid/learnign phase. i jsut feel like it took me soo long to get it. all the things that he promised that he would never do he did, then did them again. but finally after the last straw, actually after about the millionth straw, i was fed up and i said goodbye to him. something i thought that i could never do. i was a weak person, but since i have been without him i see how strong of a person i can be. he hurt me in ways i never shoudl have felt; but it only gave me strength that i never thoguht i could have.
then i thoguht, hey ima be a pimp..lol..no more relationships for me. but you knwo what happens when you are not looking for somehthing, right? it finds you. and i truly beleive that i have found love.
although there has been 'controversy' over me and my boyfriend...i still stand saying that i asked once and i asked again...i didnt know the situation and its too late now. so whatever...nothing will mess up my true happiness this time.
so we met and spent the whole sumemr together and in that time we became really close. we spent almost all day everyday together, going out, chilling, cooking (lol), having deep conversations and really getting to knwo one another. i consider him to be my best friend at this point in my life. i can and do tell him everything that i feel and everything in my past both the good and the bad, i cry on his shoulder...i love him!
then when the summer came to an end it was tiem for the next step in my life- college. i am now attending new college of florida...i knwo you are like ooo, florida, i know its all hispanics and fun down there...well that might be true for florida ingeneral, but where i am there are all white, old people...the only diversity is at fastfood restaraunts. i am very disappointed in the city. yeah it beautiful, the shcool is #1 liberal art college in the nation, but there are only about 15 minorities...and i've only seen about 6 black people (counting myself and another bi-racial girl as black).
i feel very out fo place, because i am used to st. louis, where there are all different kinds of people every which way you turn. and i am used to metro which was damn near 50-50. i dont knwo i how well i will adjust to this situation. i have alreay talked to my mom about. but i will give my self a chance here and see what happens.
so i have left everything i know and have known...my family, friends and past are all in stl and im here is sarasota, florida. but my baby is coming to visit me in about a month (yay!) and then my mom and sis will be here in about 2 months for a weekend. then a few weeks later is thanksgiving, then christmas, then spring break, and finally summer break...so when i look at the big picture its not that bad...like my baby told me, "you did not leave us behind, you are just on a buisness trip and you will be home soon..", so that what im doing. i will see you soon.
soon after that, i got out of a bad situation that had been on going for a lil over a year- NICK. thats all he was, was a bad decision, situation, mistake, chioce...i guess everyone has their stupid/learnign phase. i jsut feel like it took me soo long to get it. all the things that he promised that he would never do he did, then did them again. but finally after the last straw, actually after about the millionth straw, i was fed up and i said goodbye to him. something i thought that i could never do. i was a weak person, but since i have been without him i see how strong of a person i can be. he hurt me in ways i never shoudl have felt; but it only gave me strength that i never thoguht i could have.
then i thoguht, hey ima be a pimp..lol..no more relationships for me. but you knwo what happens when you are not looking for somehthing, right? it finds you. and i truly beleive that i have found love.
although there has been 'controversy' over me and my boyfriend...i still stand saying that i asked once and i asked again...i didnt know the situation and its too late now. so whatever...nothing will mess up my true happiness this time.
so we met and spent the whole sumemr together and in that time we became really close. we spent almost all day everyday together, going out, chilling, cooking (lol), having deep conversations and really getting to knwo one another. i consider him to be my best friend at this point in my life. i can and do tell him everything that i feel and everything in my past both the good and the bad, i cry on his shoulder...i love him!
then when the summer came to an end it was tiem for the next step in my life- college. i am now attending new college of florida...i knwo you are like ooo, florida, i know its all hispanics and fun down there...well that might be true for florida ingeneral, but where i am there are all white, old people...the only diversity is at fastfood restaraunts. i am very disappointed in the city. yeah it beautiful, the shcool is #1 liberal art college in the nation, but there are only about 15 minorities...and i've only seen about 6 black people (counting myself and another bi-racial girl as black).
i feel very out fo place, because i am used to st. louis, where there are all different kinds of people every which way you turn. and i am used to metro which was damn near 50-50. i dont knwo i how well i will adjust to this situation. i have alreay talked to my mom about. but i will give my self a chance here and see what happens.
so i have left everything i know and have known...my family, friends and past are all in stl and im here is sarasota, florida. but my baby is coming to visit me in about a month (yay!) and then my mom and sis will be here in about 2 months for a weekend. then a few weeks later is thanksgiving, then christmas, then spring break, and finally summer break...so when i look at the big picture its not that bad...like my baby told me, "you did not leave us behind, you are just on a buisness trip and you will be home soon..", so that what im doing. i will see you soon.